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my dad passed away 5 years ago. i have a 23 yo bro, and 20 yo sis, a 18 yo bro (all out on their own), i'm 16, and my little bros are 12 and 7. we just found out that my mom has brain cancer, they gave her 3 mo. to live. both my parents were only kids and 3 of our grandparents have passed away, the other one is at a nursing home. i'm hoping my mom will make it, but if not, would me, Kameron, and Keegan be put into foster care, or would we be allowed to live with our older siblings (like one of us with each)? what would be legal, we don't want to be separated.

2007-12-16 13:01:40 · 16 answers · asked by :) 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adoption

believe me, the older 3 are beyond willing to take us in.

2007-12-16 13:06:14 · update #1

16 answers

your older siblings will be given the option of taking you all in before foster care is considered. Talk to your older siblings about this as well as your mom. Maybe ask her if she has any plans for you and your younger siblings if she were not to make it. This wont be easy, and I wish you all the best. take care.

**edited**
The system is overwhelmed w/ children as is, if you have responsible willing family members than the state will not oppose it.

2007-12-16 13:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by miranda - 4 · 3 0

Well generally if your mother do not have it in her will what she wants done with you three after she passes, then the foster system will contact any family members who are capable and willing to take care of you guys. In Canada anyways it is the goal of the foster system to keep children within the family and not out. So unless your siblings are incapable or unwilling then you will go with one of them.

Good luck in everything I am praying for your mother to pull through on this, but you should also make your wishes known about your guardianship to her so that she can make these arrangments before the state has to decide.

2007-12-17 03:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by becky q 5 · 0 0

It is very sad you're having to go through this. However, as much as I'm sure you don't want to talk about "the end" with your mother, you really need to ask her about her Will.

At age 18 I became the "executer" of my parents will. At 21, I became my parents "preferred legal guardian" for any children they still had under 18 in the even of their deaths. Luckily my parents are still alive, but they have had health problems and I still have little brothers at home (17 and 13).

If your mother passes away, the decision of where to place you is officially up to a judge. However, if your mother has a will that specifies who she wants your legal guardian to be, then almost always the judge will pass guardianship on to that person. As long as your siblings are safe, responsible adults, there should be no problem.

You're already going through a tough time. Please don't be frightened that you'll be ripped from your siblings after you just lost your mother. As long as she has a "plan" on paper, things will be ok.

God Bless You!

2007-12-16 13:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by littleJaina 4 · 4 1

wow, im so so sorry for your situation!

but uhm, legally your mom needs to get a jumpstart on things. she NEEDS to make a will to say that all of you are to live with one of your siblings. if she does this, then legally all 3 of you will go to your sisters custody. do you have any aunts or uncles? in some cases, if your siblings arent considered 'fit' to raise kids, as in, their in college, dont have money to support all of you, etc then a court may place you with an aunt or uncle. its very rare that you guys would go into foster care, but of course it still could happen. just make sure your mom makes a will and talks everything out, so if she does pass away everyone is aware of whats gunna happen to you and your 2 younger siblings.

i really wish you and your family the best of luck though, and im so so sorry about your mom.

2007-12-16 13:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by mcrxx725 2 · 2 0

You can probably go live with your sis. It would depend on if she can prove she has a stable job, good home environment, etc. Basically, she would have to prove she can take care of you. At 16, the judge will definitely take into account what your wishes are if it is a suitable environment for you to be in.

2007-12-16 13:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 3 0

Your older siblings are legally adults and one of them should be allowed to become your legal gaurdian. Perhaps you can bring yourself to ask your mother to speak to a lawyer about this? Or if you talk to your older siblings about it, they may be able to help your mother take care of this situation. Even if your mom survives her cancer, it is always a good idea for her to have a will. Take care. Share your troubles with adults around you who can help you.

2007-12-16 13:54:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I'm so sorry to hear that. As long as your mom has it in her final will and testament that you three are not to be separated and are to live with family then you would definitely be able to stay with one of your siblings. Again very sorry to hear about your situation. I hope everything works out for you and your family.

2007-12-16 14:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by keishound122 2 · 1 0

Your mom needs to write a will expressing her wishes for her children. Your brothers or sister could be legal guardians of all of you. The only way this would be prevented is if they do not want to be guardians or if they are unfit. Terribly sorry about the grief you have to live with.

2007-12-16 13:10:15 · answer #8 · answered by TAT 7 · 3 0

i am a foster child and have been since i was 6. im now 17. you can go in to foster care. but living with your sis she will have to do alot to get her home ready for you to live with her. call the social services center nearest you and talk to someone in "placement". that might help

2007-12-17 08:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

of corse you can. but, i hope your mom is better and im sorry about your dad. ask and see if your bros and sis' can pull all the money and see if that you can keep, live in your old house. it will keep memories alive

2007-12-16 14:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie Ella♥Edward Cullen 3 · 1 0

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