i'm 16 and have 18 and 22 yo sibs. my dad's sister has 3 boys ages 16, 14, and 10. her husband wants to have the "married" title, but doesn't want to act like it and take care of her and the boys (not to mention the verbal and physical abuse he put those kids through). tonight she told us that she will never be seen with him again. i'm scared. i had a distant friend who's parents were divorced, but never had i known someone personally, much less related to me, who had one. i'm scared for my cousins, because they look up to their dad so much. and they want to be just like him. the oldest wants to be a mechanic and is going to a tech school for it, the middle one wants to be a chef, and the youngest can sing, act, and dance. he has his eyes set on Broadway. if the boys had a choice, they would choose their dad, but he justs brings them down, i've heard him tell them they'll never accomplish anything.
2007-12-16 12:38:23 · 9 answers · asked by :) 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my aunt can't take care of herself much less the boys with her salary. i'm scared. is there anything i can do besides pray?
2007-12-16 12:38:39 · update #1
I think your aunt has finally come to her senses. Sorry, but years of physical and verbal abuse have proven to your aunt that her husband isn't going to change. Its better for a kid to grow up the rest of the way poor and safe than rich and abused. You've even heard him "bring them down, tell them they'll never accomplish anything" and you're scared of your aunt not wanting to be around your uncle again?
It scares me that you aren't CELEBRATING that your cousins and their mom have the chance to turn things around even if it means hard work, her going back to school, and sacrifice on her and your cousins part.
I'd be scared that their abusive dad would be one of those dads who kill their wives and kids over some chickensh**, petty stuff like so many murdering dads do. Get a grip, kid. Your cousins may even have a chance of growing up and NOT becoming abusers themselves now!
2007-12-16 12:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is difficult to see ones that you care about go through a divorce. Sometimes it is better that the divorce happens even though it sounds completely awful. You even said that their father was abusive. Don't you think it is better that your cousins be safe from the abuse rather than having to endure it everyday and night and then pretend nothing is happening when they are around you or other family? Its fine to be scared for your cousins but they will be just fine. They aren't alone. Your aunt has the support of your family and probably her parents as well. You will still be able to be a family, the only difference is you will be a much happier family. Just support your cousins the best way you can and be there for them if they need to talk. You aren't in much of a position financially to help I am sure, but you are able to pitch in with hands on things whenever your aunt needs help. Just be supportive. I know its hard but it will all work out.
2007-12-16 13:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by SoAZ Gal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not inquire from me, I actually have a troublesome lasting a week and not using a hug. I hug new human beings each and all the time at my AA assembly because of the fact the hug I provide away helps me additionally. Hug's are an extremely particular journey. in the beginning you will desire to make touch with yet another human for it to be a valid hug. Ever notice 2 soccer gamers hug after winding up a complicated play? Why do you think of they try this for the time of front of 1000's of persons? Do you think of they care somebody is gazing? i'm going to wager you're able to hug your Aunt & Uncle in the event that they have been element of a purple bypass team who chanced on you after being lost interior the woods for 2 weeks (or extra).
2016-10-01 23:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your aunt can get child support withheld from his paychecks and disbursed through the court, but she has to go to court for this. She needs to file for divorce.
It is a shame that the kids have been exposed to so much verbal and emotional abuse, and I hope they will not emulate their dad in this abuse. At 14, they can choose which parent they want to stay with, but your aunt can also tell the court about his being AWOL all the time, which amounts to abandonment... the court will probably not award custody to him.
2007-12-16 12:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This may be hard for you to understand, but your aunt is an adult, and she is doing the right thing. You have said yourself that your uncle is hurtful to his children. It is their mother's job to protect them and herself. It is not uncommon for children from abusive homes to try to win the abusive parent's affection. Your cousins don't really look up to their dad. They want his approval. They want him to love them. They are trying to be like him to make him love them.
You are old enough to understand that sometimes it is better for a married couple to be apart, so that they stop hurting each other. Your aunt is a grown woman, and she will find a job and take care of herself and her kids. Things might not be easy for her, but she will be okay, and so will your uncle and cousins. Money is not everything.
Just be there for your cousins and tell them they can do anything they put their minds to. In the meantime, respect your aunt's decision, and be glad she wants better for herself and her kids.
2007-12-16 13:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by neutralparty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, nothing more that you can do besides pray. Your aunt has most likely had enough of an abusive relationship. It sounds to me like she's doing the best thing that she knows to do.
Abusive people just don't get better. It gets worse, and worse. So try to understand this. Your aunt is doing what she thinks is best. Support her efforts.
2007-12-16 13:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by kiwi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are so worried for your Aunt and cousins... those kids have skewed thinking if they want to be "just like their dad"... the abuser.
I can't blame your aunt for her feelings... i wouldn't want to be around him either.
I think the best thing you can do is let you parents know you're feeling confused and scared about your Aunt's situation... maybe talking it over will help.
Your aunt's life doesn't belong to you.. she has to solve her own problems, her own way.
take care of YOU.
2007-12-16 12:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't be scared for your cousins, be happy that they won't be subjected to his emotional and physical abuse. They'll be better off, hopefully your family will support them emotionally while they get on their feet.
2007-12-16 13:27:38 · answer #8 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it
2007-12-16 12:58:01 · answer #9 · answered by ldp999000 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋