My brother always asks me for money. He always says he will pay me back but never does. He asks for money all the time for different reasons. Whenever I have pointed out that he has a good paying job and still lives in our parents home rent free (I have an apartment of my own) that he should have enough money to cover his own expenses. (He only is responsible for his car payment, the insurance and gas for the car as well as his cell phone bill.) His response is that he did not get a very big paycheck and did not have enough to meet all his expenses, yet he always seems to have money to go out with friends to bars, movies and out to eat with them. Anytime he ever goes out to dinner with the family we always have to cover his tab because he never has any money to pay his share. He asked me again today for money to put gas in his car. He knew I just got paid so I couldn't say I didn't have money. How can I tell him that I can no longer spot him money all the time & get him to pay me back?
2007-12-16 11:48:08 · 9 answers · asked by SoAZ Gal 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should also add that I have tried just telling him I was tapped out and did not have any money. But now that Christmas is coming up, its harder to keep up that charade since he will know I had money to spend when I hand out christmas gifts on christmas day.
2007-12-16 12:41:39 · update #1
Just telll him that enough is enough. If he has money to go out and do other things then he has money for whatever he asks you for. And if he has the same response as before, like he didn't get a big paycheck, then tell him that he needs to manage his money better. You have to make him realize that he's a grown man and needs to act like it. But if you can't bring yourself to "tell him off",persay, then just tell him that you have to use that money for living expenses and other stuff.
2007-12-16 11:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by spirit22poet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He only shows up because you are a pushover.
He is living the high life on your dime.
Quit giving in to this mooch.
Next time he shows up, say: "I'm sorry, but I've had a lot of unexpected expenses and I literally have nothing left until payday... I'm down to peanut butter sandwiches."
No matter what, don't give him anything.
What I will suggest is that everytime he tries to put the mooch on you, you instead put that amount of money into a little lock-box, or at least write it down in a notebook... see how much money you save in a month's time.
Your next step will be to start going over to bug him... asking him for loans... just to get your money back. Turnabout is fair play.
2007-12-16 12:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, you really could use some personal boundaries... giving and loaning people money is a bad habit, and it really does not help others, in the long run.
If your brother lives rent-free and has money to go to bars, and other places, then he needs to learn to budget.... just let him know you've given your limit... and are finished lending... You don't have the money to give anyway! Save it for yourself.. you might need it someday.
There is nothing wrong with helping someone out ONCE IN A BLUE MOON if they need a necessity and you can provide it for them.... but your brother is USING you and knows you will give in.
"NO" is a word we all need to make better use of !
I have listed a website below for you.. and i hope that if you take the time to look, it will help you.
hugs
2007-12-16 11:58:51 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you say no? Well, you sound it out in your mouth and you firstly make the "n" sound. "Nnnnn..." And THEN you make the "o" sound. "Ooooo!" And you say them together...What did you say? "No!"
Okay, seriously, your brother needs to pay for his own problems. If he's spending his money on junk, who's problem is it? No, it's not yours... It's his. Just tell him that you have to pay for an apartment of your own right now and you can't cover both of your expenses. You don't have to trust him just because he's your brother. Next time he asks, just tell him that you're not giving him any money until he pays you back what he owes you. Tell him to turn to Uncle Bob or something until he can pay you back.
I hope I helped! ;) Good luck with your brother!
2007-12-16 12:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat with my brother. He was always bumming money from me until about 2 weeks ago. I simply told him I couldnt do it anymore. He makes 3 times what i do and its not right for me to try to raise my daughter and him. So my advice is just tell him u cant do it anymore.
2007-12-16 11:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no i had a brother the same way found out he was on drugs and using it to support his habit i hope this is not the case but regardless you need to put your foot down
2007-12-16 12:44:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, just say no. He's taking advantage of you and the reason is easy to see. You're allowing him take advantage of you. Don't blame him. You're an easy source of dough. Why WOULDN'T he ask you?
2007-12-16 11:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say no. If he doesn't pay you back then don't give him anymore money.
2007-12-16 12:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mommyof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"No".
2007-12-16 11:52:37 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Riddle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋