I've recently become a Christian but I'm having problems with the "wives must submit to their husbands" bit in the Bible. Any suggestions on how to deal with this aspect? My husband already tried to control everything before I became a Christian but now it has become worse - and of course he claims that the Bible says he should be the one who makes the decisions on everything. Including what I should think!
2007-12-16 11:42:47 · 56 answers · asked by pirietm 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Your husband is a fool if he thinks that's what that verse means. It means to submit to his leadership in the spiritual matters of the household. He is supposed to lead you like Christ led the church .... by serving, by giving his life for you and your children.
Next time he tries to control "everything", flip the Bible over a few books and point him to the last chapter of Proverbs, it starts about verse 18 (I think). It's called the Woman of Noble Character ... have him check out all the things the wife does, all that SHE is responsible for, not him.
2007-12-16 11:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
It's true that the Bible does say that a man is head of his household. Basically that means that he has the responsibility of taking care of his family. He also has the responsibility of making decisions effecting the family. This DOES NOT mean that you can not decide things for yourself. Especially things of a personal matter. Men also forget that the Bible says that a woman is a "compliment" to him. Husbands and wives should work together to make decisions, raise children, and solve problems. Also, men are to take their wife's feelings into consideration when they do make a decision. A good husband will talk with his wife and make his decision based on her feelings and what is overall best for the family. Subjection does not mean that you are not an individual with your own opinions and ideas. It also does not mean that you necessarily agree with the decisions your husband makes for the family. What it means is that you cooperate with your husband (even if doesn't take you suggestions or consult you before he makes a decision) and not rub it in his face when he makes a mistake (which he no doubt will if he is human). Do your best to be a good wife. Hopefully, this will encourage him to be a good hubby.
2007-12-16 11:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by bombastic 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Feel free to remind him what the bible says how husband are to treat their wives. They are to love, and honor them; offering up their very lives for them.
Yes, the wife should let the husband have the final say; however that doesn't mean she can't give her point of view, and the bible doesn't say anything about the wife must become a welcome mat.
When your kids see you hold you peace, they will know you did so because their dad would rather loose his life than see you hurt. It is by seeing you and your husband treating one another as "the better half" that your children get a sense of security and high self-esteem.
If he's willing to do his part, then go ahead and do yours.
But if he's not willing to do that, then you may want some marriage counseling.
2007-12-16 12:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by Linda J 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not possible for your husband to control your every action even if you let him.
So, no, that's not what it means.
Your problem with this verse is interpretation. Some interpret it to mean that the woman of the house is the abject slave of the husband. Though this could be fun if you look like Jessica Simpson, uh, that's not what it means.
From God's point of view, you are a marital unit, and your goal in life is to preserve your family as if it belonged to God. Supressing the woman of the home has the effect of snuffing out half the gifts and talents God intended the family to have, so you can see that you need nearly complete freedom to make your own decisions and act according to your gifts.
On the other hand, most men are gifted with both the talent and the instinct to protect, defend and grow their families, and you have to allow him room for his gifts as well.
You're not going to arrive at the same interpetation of other families, you have to do this on your own. You're obligated to cooperate with your husband, you're not obligated to cooperate with what others say outside your home.
2007-12-16 11:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
read the bible, it does not only says that the wife has the only option, the question is are you an Israelites? the law about that was for the Jews, yet we must upheld it. but if your husband is forcing you to be in sinning, then you can depart from the way,
"Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
this verse should not be separated. Yes you should submit yourself to him but he must love you back without bitterness or any remorse
2007-12-16 11:50:52 · answer #5 · answered by Pilandok 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
We run a Christian household. "wives submit to your husbands" means that when major decisions have to be made I say how I feel about something but the decision is ultimatly up to him. I usually get my way since he loves me the way Christ loves the church. That is how that passage is percieved in our household. And when he makes a decision and it doesnt turn out the way we/he intended to then its on his shoulders and not mine.
Now if my husband was not a Christian then all bets are off with me being submissive. That whole chapter is a 2 way street for husbands and wives.
2007-12-16 11:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa V 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
They don't mean to submit to all your husbands demands.. they mean that someone has to be the head of the household and that you have to learn to compromise. Just remember that these bibical texts were written at a time and custom different from today. It's not fair that he's telling you what to do. Speak to a preacher or pastor in your church and discuss the situation with him, its better to get answers from a person who is more familiar with the bible.
2007-12-16 11:57:48 · answer #7 · answered by Princessa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being a Christian does NOT mean you must put up with your husbands abuse. The "wives must submit to their husbands" was intended for a loving, compassionate man, NOT a controlling one. Husbands & wives are supposed to be partners who can work together, ie their strengths compliment our weaknesses & vice versa. Sounds to me like you both could use some counseling from the pastor of the church you're attending.
2007-12-16 11:51:01 · answer #8 · answered by recycler562 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Absolutely not! The first man and wife Adam and Eve show us this. God made Eve out of a rib to symbolize that the man is not above or below the woman. He also called eve a "helpmeet" meaning an equal partner. Husbands should never dominate, only walk side by side with the woman. My wife and I make all of our important decisions together, in fact, I can't imagine having to make them all by myself. Ultimately, you cannot force your husband to change his viewpoint, you can share your feelings, have an honest conversation and look for solutions, but he needs to make the change. You need to have a serious talk with your husband. Maybe consider seeing a counselor. Good luck, I will pray for you.
2007-12-16 11:48:12 · answer #9 · answered by Aaronkun 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, it does not mean that. The fact that he wants to control is a problem from the get go. No person should want to control another one. I do agree the BIble says those words, but I feel as though humanity has taken it out of context. Hypothetically, lets put it into a sexual context. Should a women have sex when she does not want to, JUST because her husband does. I think not. And if he chooses to anyway, that is rape. Marriage is a team effort. I think you need to get rid of this guy before he gets worse. I make tons of decisions in our household and we went to church today. team effort-- he sounds like a nut.
2007-12-16 11:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by pupgirl 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What the Bible means to me is that wives should submit to their husbands in matters of faith. Like Jesus led his followers by sacrifice and service, so should your husband lead your family. According to our minister (during pre-marital counseling), all of the everyday family matters (children, money, sex, etc.) are a matter of equal decision between adult family members. I would have a serious conversation with someone you trust about whether you are being expected to adhere to Christian duties, or if you are enduring abuse at home. Marriage isn't going to be perfect for anyone, but if you're already severely unhappy, this isn't a healthy situation.
2007-12-16 11:46:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋