what can i do about my dad ?

Question

im 14, girl, & im scared.
my parents always get split up , because my dads pretty much an alcoholic, the last time they broke up, my dad made us leave, & we stayed at my grandmothers, & i told my mom i didnt want anything to do with him anymore, because he hurt my mom before, and i never really talked to him since then ( it was in the summer ) . but tonight my dad was drinking all day, & he came home, flipping outt at my mom, for some stupid reason & he wanted her to leave, but she was like no, the last time we broke up you said you were going to change , and if i came back & we split up again, that my dad was the one leaving. but he still said she had to leave. but we have like no wheres to go, i know its bad to say, but i really dont like my dad. & i want them to get divorced, but my mom always falls for it when he says he's going to change, but he never does.
what can i do ? . i wanna stay in my house with my mom, brother & sister.. but i want him out of the picture. :(

Answer 1

Your mom needs to get a backbone.
She should not leave the house under any circumstance... better to sleep with the kids right now.
By now she is realizing that she is codependent with a raging drunk. As long as the alcohol is in the driver's seat, there will not be peace or stability in that household.
So the thing is this... she needs to hit the bookstore and get the latest do-it-yourself divorce guide for your state, and download all of the appropriate forms from the state's website, fill them out, take the recommended amount of money down to the county courthouse and get the divorce under way. They will handle "serving him".

Until the judge awards custody of the house and kids, things will probably be pretty awkward for a while.
If your mom really has the guts, she can wait until he leaves to go to work, then trot right in with a locksmith in tow to change the locks, then put his clothes out on the porch.

If she needs help in any stage of this... preferably right now... she needs to talk to the local women's center that deals with abuse. They will refer her to professionals who handle this kind of situation on a regular basis.

Answer 2

Congrats Ben!! How far along is she? (: I was going to say Father and Son, dammit. BQ: Breathe in the Air - Pink Floyd BQ2: I'm gonna see if I can finish this painting for him by Sunday. My family isn't that big on Father's Day, though. Edit: Haha, that's exciting. You'll make a great dad, I'm sure :D

Answer 3

Hi hon...

You father isn't just hurting your mom, he's hurting YOU as well... one of the best things your mom and you could do for yourselves is to try Alanon and Alateen. I have listed the website for Alateen below, for you information.

These are both support groups especially for people whose lives have been affected by an alcoholic. If you and your mom will try one or both of these groups, you will see that others are actually living the same sort of situation as you -- and you will get good support, information and advice about how to TAKE CARE OF YOU right now... YOU are the most important person in this equasion, hon.

I hope you will show your mom the Alanon site, too... You have both been deeply affected by your father's alcoholism. And it's not "him" talking, it's the alcohol.

sending hugs.

Answer 4

maybe your mom cant aford to live without his financal help............. theres nothing you can do but be there for your mom ,brother and sister .......... if you are close to your mom then ask her that you all go to a refuge place or salvation army or shelter to get away from him......... either that or your mom may be able to kick him out of the house ...there is help out there if she is willing to take it ...........

Answer 5

Your mother is a crappy parent.