I have some relatives coming over for Christmas dinner?

Question

What is the best thing to cook to ensure that they never want to come back?

Answer 1

ROFLMAO!!!!

ROAST POSSUM WITH SWEET
POTATOES

1 possum
Salt and pepper
1 pod red pepper
1 sweet potato per person

Simmer possum until partially done, changing the stock a couple of times according to age and amount of wild taste. Add a piece of red pepper in the final simmer. Place possum in roaster. Add small amount of water. Sprinkle possum with flour and baste with fat, if necessary. (Usually fat on possum is sufficient.) Surround by small sweet potatoes and bake until possum and potatoes are browned. Cooking time, from 1 to 2 hours at 350 degrees. Makes from six to eight servings.

LIME JELLO MOLD

1 pkg. lime Jello
1 c. cottage cheese
1 c. Hellmann's real mayonnaise
1 c. plus grated cucumber
1/2 to 3/4 c. grated carrots
1 tbsp. grated onion, fine

Dissolve lime Jello in 1 cup boiling water and put in refrigerator for 20 minutes. Mix together all ingredients, pour Jello into mixture and stir. Pour into mold and put in refrigerator

AWFUL CHEESE DIP

1 (3 oz.) pkg. lemon jello
1/2 c. boiling water
1 c. tomato soup
3 (8 oz.) pkgs. cream cheese
1 c. Miracle Whip
1 c. green peppers, chopped
1/2 c. chopped green onion, including tops
1 c. chopped pecans

Dissolve jello in water. Add 1 can tomato soup and mix well. Add cream cheese; mix thoroughly. Add Miracle Whip; fold in green peppers, green onions and chopped pecans

CANNED CARP

Fresh carp (scaled and dressed)
1 c. canning or plain salt
1 gal. water

Wash fish thoroughly in fresh cold water, make sure stomach cavity is clean. Cut fish into chunks that will fit into quart canning jars.
In a non-metal container, dissolve the salt into the water to make a brine. Soak the fish in the brine 1 hour. Remove the fish and allow to drain for 10 minutes. Pack into clean sterile quart jars to within 1 inch of top, do not add any liquid. Seal jars with sterilized lids and rings. Process in pressure cooker for 100 minutes at 10 pounds pressure.

Answer 2

Thumbs up to you all.
Whatever you cook, like a real greasy Christmas goose or maybe Haggis, it is the little things that make the difference. I like the idea of not cleaning the bathroom. I would not vacuum or sweep up the dog hair, it gets onto, just hope they wear dark clothes, and into everything, you'll eat some. Make sure the glasses and silverware are spotted. Then I would set places for my babies at the table, four dogs. They are part of the family. On top of that they are ill mannered and jump on everyone. If you don't have dogs borrow some from your neighbors.

Answer 3

My grandmother would LOVE the possum! LOL That would backfire for sure.

Seriously though, hot dogs burnt on the grill. hee hee. You could even say you forgot to buy the buns (or didn't have enough money)

prime rib that is still bleeding if they like it well done.

I would say mac and cheese but apparently some people love it for Christmas.

baked bean sandwiches (poor mans fair although I've read the Brits consider beans on toast a delicacy)

pancakes

fruitcake

yams straight out of the can and jellied cranberry sauce uncut in the can shape.

canned greens

frozen turkey pot pies

Answer 4

Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
only try this recipe

Grilled cheese
5 slices of low quality American cheese.(With mostly toad greese)
1 bottle of chocolate Wasabi
2 cups of creamed durian
10 pieces of unsalted stale bread
1 cup of cockroach fat.

1. Leave ingredients out for at least 12 hours above room temperature.
2. heat fat in pan till lukewarm
3. mix chocolate wasabi, and creamed durian, and spread with knife on bread.
4. slap a piece of cheese on the bread, and slab the next piece of bread on.
5. fry the sandwich up till the outside is black, and make sure the inside is not cooked.
garnish with cooking debree from the oven

tomato soup.
1 bag of rat blood.
2 slightly rotten tomatoes
1 cup of brussel sprout puree
1/4 cup of cumin
1 bottle of Ragu sauce
1 cup of pureed bologna, meatloaf, hotdogs, peperoni, and pig bladder, preferably not cleaned out.
1 cup of asafoedita.
5 tablespoons of brown sugar.

mix ingredients, and microwave

Answer 5

Overcook the turkey so its dry and stringy. Make the stuffing straight out of the package, nothing added, green bean casserole add too much salt and pepper, mashed taters watery, and make the pies yourself, ugly looking and not enough sugar, that ought to do the trick.

Answer 6

boiled brusselsporuts,broccoli and cawliflower.nice stink there!
make a stew and add too much tabasco sauce.
i know;watch the movie diary of bridget jones and see what she cooks for her dinner party.

Answer 7

serve them fabulous food, lavish them with appetizers and desserts. give them the best wine and beer. just don't clean the bathroom for three weeks before they come.

Answer 8

Lutefisk... it's actually quite a tradition in Minnesota.

Answer 9

You are so funny! I like Depp lovers answer, for sure!