Why won't my girlfriend have sex with me?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, we're both 17. She loves me and I love her and we both know that. Our relationship has had many ups and downs like any relationship has, but we've gotten through it. I would do anything for her and I do, to the point when her friends and my friends have both said that she takes advantage of me. We've talked about her giving me more respect and lately it's been great. I think that it's time now to have sex, and i've told her this, but I would never pressure her into anything. She's said she wanted to and promised she would, but whenever she says she will, she ends up not. I don't know why, and i've talked to her and not received a concrete response. The farthest we've gone is her giving me a handjob, and she will not do anymore than that. I'm frustrated more by the broken promises that the actual lack of action (though that bothers me too) what should I do? I do everything for her.

Answer 1

You say that you're not pressuring her, but it sounds like that's what you're doing, though unintentionally. If she's not ready to have sex, she's not ready. She may think she is, but if she's backing out at the last moment she obviously isn't.

You need to respect her feelings. If you pressure her into sex before she's ready, it can only hurt your relationship. You need to make a decision. Which is more important to you: your girlfriend, or sex?

Answer 2

It sounds to me like she is either scared to have sex or that she wants to wait and is afraid that you will give up and leave if she tells you the truth. This is perhaps something that you should discuss in a place where sex and intimacy would not be an issue and let her know how you feel. If you truly would be willing to wait if that is what she wants then you need to let her know this.. Not to sound like an old lady here, 17 is really young especially when it comes the the emotions and complications that sex can bring to a relationship.

Answer 3

This is a moral subject, which you should know. Just because the rest of the world is doing an imoral act, does it make it right? If the whole population jumped off a 1000 foot clift, would you do the same thing?

Answer 4

Because you should WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE MARRIED. Your girlfriend is very intelligent and she does not want to fornicate. Don't you know the rate of teenage pregnacies in this country? You're just a little boy....please get your head straight. You boys impregnate girls, then dump them. then you go on and marry someone else and leave the girl with a baby who looks like you. Then you won't even take the time to see the child. People just don't realize the harm they do. I'm going to pray for you. but in the meantime, I'm going to sit back and watch the angry responses.

Answer 5

Just ask her why she won't. She just does not want to and feels she has 2 cause u want to. I think she is very smart. 2 a girl giving ur virginity 2 someone is A BIG DEAL, stop asking her and maybe later on she will. Ur 17 u have years to have sex. Maybe she does not have to get pregnant. Just stop asking her or she just might brake up with u. I'm 17 and broke up with my ex b/c he would not stop asking me. When u do that is seems like u only want a piece of *** and u don't care about her. Idk maybe she is using her head and knows how big this is and wants to get married b4. Some people still wait. Just b/c u do everything for her does not mean she has to have sex with u at all. Its her body.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like your being played. She is just not really interested in you that much. Sounds like she is just stringing you along while you stroke her ego by begging for sex from her. Go find another girl. Right now you should be thinking more about school than sex. But' There's to many out there that will to worry with one that will not. Go get another one. Don't beg a girl for sex. Don't stroke her ego that way. She knows she has you wrapped around her finger. (Big mistake) You have to show her that you can get it somewhere else if she isn't willing to give it. You have already waited a year. How much longer are you going to let her jerk you around and string you along?

Answer 7

well. sex is probably a complication for her. a can of worms. maybe she doesn't want to bother right now. she is fine with things staying the same. maybe she has other worries and she enjoys your body in other ways. the only way you can persuade her without appearing like an *** would be to honestly tell her how much the further intimacy would mean to you. don't try to go all the way without talking about it first. it might come out of the blue for her.

Answer 8

I don't think she is ready. She may love you and be afraid of losing you and so agrees to sex but obviously means down the road some time. Have some patience, when she is ready you'll be happy you waited and didn't pressure her. A condom is not enough to prevent pregnancy please make sure she is on birthcontrol as well. A word from the wise.

Answer 9

you must talk about, something is probably bothering her. People just go half way and stop and repeat that over and over, something is wrong. You must talk to her even if it seems like you are crossing the line. I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks because I felt like stress from home etc was effecting my relationship. But we talked and I overcame it.

Answer 10

I am sure that she is just scared. If this is her first time, there is a lot of things running through her head. You need to prove to her that she can trust you with something so huge. Once she feels that trust she will become comfortable and then make love with you. Just be there for her and dont pressure her.