when is the appropriate time to begin diciplining your children?

Question

my son is 7 1/2 months old. when is it appropriate to begin dicipline when he does something like pulling hair? i know hes doing it because its interesting to him and hes not ready to be diciplined yet, but when will he be? when i tell him no in a bit of a stern fashion, he gets a big smile and laughs at me, its pretty cute lol. so, when did you start telling your children NO and really meant it? when did you begin diciplining them (as in taking them away from the situation if they wont stop doing what is inappropriate?

Answer 1

NOW, by discipline I mean to teach. A 7 and 1/2 month old can understand tone of voice. I say use it.

Answer 2

You can start right now. The next time he pulls your hair, remove his hand from your head and say "No"-sternly. Try really hard not to laugh because then he'll still think he's being cute. You can pretty well tell by the look in their little eyes if they understand they arent supposed to do something. I would never think of hitting a child, but you can get your message across without doing that. I have 4 children and only had to smack one of them on the bottom when she ran across the street after I had told her not to. That was 49 years ago and I still feel bad about it.

Answer 3

He's ready now. If you disagree, why do you think it's fair to allow a problem behavior, even encourage it, then suddenly start punishing him for it when you decide he's "ready"?

If he gets a big smile and laughs at your response to his hair-pulling, then you are reinforcing the behavior, whether or not you intend to. You need to evaluate how you are responding and think about what you can do differently. It may be enough to simply ignore the behavior. Another option is to minimize his opportunity to pull your hair (maybe by wearing it tied back), and hopefully breaking him of the habit that way. You'll have to find out what works for you and him.

As for telling him no "...and really meaning it." That's not fair, and sets a bad precedent. Children deserve to be communicated with clearly and directly. If you don't always mean no when you say it, then you cannot expect him to understand your intentions when you use that word. Eventually, he'll learn to get his way by assuming you don't really mean it when you say no. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. No means no.

As for taking them away from the situation "if they won't stop..." That can be very confusing for children, especially very young ones. The punishment needs to be delivered IMMEDIATELY, without giving them a chance to stop it. Doing so clarifies that the behavior is not acceptable. If you wait, it will send the message that it is unacceptable to do it longer than ten seconds, or however long you give them.

Good luck! :)

Answer 4

Now! 7 months is not too early! I had to start disciplining my oldest when she was 6 months old. Only because at that age she started doing things that were not o.k. She started to play with the light sockets. Even though they were covered that is not a toy! I would go to her, get on her level, point to the socket and say, No, don't touch, and then walk away, if she touched it again I would repeat this only this time I would take her hand place her palm in my palm and when I said don't touch I would slap her hand. Not hard enough to hurt or leave a red mark but at that age it really got through. Sure she cried some and I held her and told her I loved her and then put her back down and it took maybe 4 times of repeating myself and slapping the hand (not hard) and she didn't touch it anymore.

Kids are quick learners and are incredibly smart, and instead of trying to break bad habits later why not just train them from the begenning with good habits and not allow the bad ones to form?
From what I get is that you laugh at your kiddo every time he pulls your hair cause he laughs even though you are being firm vocally with him. What he has learned is that when mommy says something in that tone if I laugh it makes her laugh. Believe it or not he has learned how to deal with that situation and has learned what you are teaching him. If you change what you are teaching him and make pulling hair a "not funny" thing to do then I can gaurantee that he won't laugh and when you say, "don't pull mommy's hair" he'll stop cause he knows that istead of a laugh he will get a slap on the hand.

Our kids do and become what we create them and allow them to be and do. What happens if your child knows that when mommy says no he can get her to laugh and it becomes a game, so when he is walking he gets to close to a dog that isn't o.k. or close to a car that is moving and you say no, he won't have any regard for what you are saying. Never too early to teach them right from wrong... even if it's pulling hair.

Answer 5

Well, you should start really young... but not harshly. For instance, what your doing now is fine, telling him "no" a little sternly is the right way to go. But, if that doesn't work, maybe tell him "no" but also stop him gently from what he is doing. As he gets older, be a little bit more stern, when he can understand a little more, start explaining what it is. Being stern is good, but there is no need to be overly stern, tenderness is the way for a child to learn. When he gets older, do small punishments like taking away a toy for a day, or sitting him on a chair... try to avoid yelling or hitting... it makes a child more rebelious and fear you more than respect or love you.

Answer 6

Theres no RIGHT way or right time to discipline you child. I started as soon as I noticied signs of anger or being rebellious. I tap my daughters hand and firmly tell her "NO" in a firm voice and tell her what she did wrong. There is no reason to hit a child at all. Just use a firm voice. for example they are playing with a sharp object, firmly tell them "NO and tell them no this is very sharp and can hurt your hand etc.... if you are noticing them returning to the site then try to give them toys or remove them from there and place them elsewhere where they can forget.

Answer 7

my son is also 7 months. and when he does something we do not want him to do, we also tell him no. even say why. and just like your child, he smiles, squeals and goes to something else.

for us, we look at it like, WE are the ones in training and might as well start now. Far as actual discipline. i think you will realize when your son is doing something and he knows it is wrong. not really a set age. i think it should start when he is fully aware he is not supposed to do that action.

i find the hardest thing about parent hood so far, is not laughing when i am supposed to be correcting.

Answer 8

discipline actually means teach, not punish (though punishments are one way to teach). so discipline from day 1. when he pulls hair, say no and move him away. really mean it if you really want him to learn not to do it. if he sees you think he's being cute, he'll keep it up. that may seem cute now but will really not be in a year. and he's going to be baffled if what used to be a fun game now isn't allowed.... of course he's just interested, and it's not like he's being "bad", but start redirecting him to things he should be doing.

Answer 9

well once she seemed to understand that what she was doing was wrong...at about 2 years old...even then, certain things they cannot understand the conotations of...for instance...my daughter is 3 now and knows that she must hold my hand crossing the road...but she cannot really grasp the concept of death...so even though I tell her "You must hold my hand or you might get squashed by a car" she still pulls away...now it stands to reason that if she could grasp that "squashed by a car" could mean death...then she would cross sensibly....but she can't...not till she has understood death a little bit.

So I just keep reinforcing cause and effect....when she was younger if she repeatedly went to grab things she shouldnt, I would just distract her....at seven and a half months he has no idea that hair pulling is wrong...and wont till hes around 18 months to two years old...when they develop "empathy" or understanding of other peoples feelings.

Answer 10

When I had only my first child, I believe I spoke sternly to her when she misbehaved, told her NO and play nice -- that sort of thing, but I remember the first time I put her in a time out. She was around two and hit me with a wooden block (on the head - yes, ouch), I told her NO and she did it again. That earned her first time out. You have to have a feel for whether they really can understand right from wrong - usu. between one and two.