My ex just brought my 6 year old daughter home with so much make up on.?

Question

I don't believe in letting her wear makeup, just lip gloss on special occasions. So, I just asked him to make sure he purchased some make up soap and had her cleaned up before he brought her home. He asked why. Instead of just saying ok, I will clean it off, he started in on me like I had a mental problem because I dont let her put on bright blue hooker makeup. I am trying to raise her to believe that she has natural beauty and I steer clear of makeup on her at a young age, she also does not have her ears pierced. I know this is one of the buttons that my ex likes to push, and I don't care if she does it at his house. I just asked him to clean it off before she gets home. Now I am the bad guy because I am going to have to scrub her good to get this much off. Is 6 too young to be pouring on the makeup??? I think that it is....

I don't know if he is taking her out of the house with it on. My point was simply that I asked him to take it off before she comes home and he accused me of being mental. It seems like it is dress up make up, but it took alot to get it off of her. It was bright blue all over her eyes and above her brows. She actually just turned 6 and he has been letting her play dress up makeup since she was 5. All the little girls in his family dress and act waaay y too old and inappropriate at young ages and speak/act too mature for me. (One 5 year old dressed like Britney and talked alittle too maturely about boys!!) But he says its all in MY head and that I am the warped thinking one.

Answer 1

6 is WAY too young. What's he trying to do? I think he's been watching too many Bratz doll commercials and thinks that's what little girls look like now. No way would any sane adult take his side on this one so don't feel like you're the bad guy - you're in the right. He sounds like he's looking to pimp her out. Let her be a little girl! Why is he trying to make her a woman before she's even hit puberty? Innocence is so short-lived. That's a crying shame.

Answer 2

A great word to teach your daughter is "inappropriate". She will learn in time when it fits or not. You can tell her that the makeup is inappropriate for her age, and it makes her look more grown up than she needs to look at this time. If SHE gets it, then the argument is diffused.
That being said, a dressup or makeup DAY is fine, even if she comes home that way. BUT that would be the exception, not the rule.
Mine gets made up by her older sister from time to time...and when it's too much, the "A" word comes up, and she accepts that, and we tone it down. Also, the makeup comes off before bedtime.
A side note: Makeup is VERY loosely regulated, second only to fragrance. Only the companies know what is in the stuff they make because they hide under "proprietary" or trade secrets. Less is better. An when you DO use it, use only good brands- not the toy aisle stuff. Both of mine have had reactions to fragrance and makeup. (Even top brand fragrance has mystery ingredients).
Ear piercing for my girls was/is a rite of passage. At age 10, my younger will get to choose if she wants to, and my wife will bring her to have it done. But not before her 10th. There are not POSITIVE enough rites of passage, so this is a good one.

Answer 3

absoulutly to young. I think young girls should grow up knowing that they are beautiful just the way they are and that they dont need makeup. If everyone let there kids run wild and wear too much makeup the furture would be run by a bunch of barbie doll freaks that dont care about anything but cosmetics. Sometimes u just have to stick up and don't back down for some of your rules. Sooner or later your daughter will thank u fo all your rules so being the bad guy for know isn't that bad

Answer 4

How sad that your ex is giving your daughter a poor self - image just to get under your skin. He's sending her the message that she's not pretty enough as she is, and she needs to wear makeup. When she's old enough to wear it, she'll understand that that's not the case. However, she is far too young to understand now.
I would personally be sick if I saw a 6 - year - old wearing makeup. I (fortunately) have a son, but the most my nieces wore at 6 was Bonne Belle Lip Smackers. My three - year - old son does like the idea of wearing cologne like Daddy, but I don't let him. Instead, I take one of Hubby's empty cologne bottles and fill it with water for him to pretend. That way, he can "play Daddy" without smelling like a desperate bachelor on the prowl.
Keep enforcing the rules with your daughter; you're doing a great job. They're only children once, and I think it's sad that people like your ex try to rush them into adulthood.

Answer 5

Tell him just because he likes hookers that he doesn't have to dress his little six year old daughter up like one. Playing dress up is one thing, if it's in your house and monitored but to let a child go out into public looking like a two bit whore is a bit crazy! Obviously he's a bum if he thinks it's mature to keep pushing your buttons after you've both divorced. You're right to feel the way you do, unfortunately try to get that through to him.
I don't know what I'd do, I'd probably just have to suck it up and wash it off once she got home and go on with your life. It's a tough one when your split up and one parent thinks one thing and one parent thinks the other. Tough on your little girl too. Just love her and tell her she's beautiful and you love her just the way she is and that she doesn't need all that makeup to be the little girl you love so much. Hopefully her bonehead father will wakeup one of these days.

Answer 6

That is ridiculous!!! She's going to have acne from that crap clogging her pores before she even hits puberty. 6 is a little early to join the circus! Now, maybe cover-up if she gets a little blemish, or eyeliner if she wears glasses, but eye-shadow is unneccessary. Just wait until she gets it in her eyes, you won't be the bad guy anymore! Besides, making a 6-year-old look like a 16-year-old is going to attract 16-year-old attention... That's a wee bit dangerous.
I do have to disagree with you on the ears though, ear piercings don't really mess with natural beauty, they enhance it. If you're iffy about it, just get her some little studs, but most people have their ears pierced and she'll need it for later things like Winter Formals in Junior High and of course Prom later on.
Also, don't let her wear it to school, her peers would probably never let her hear the end of it! The minor cheerleading squad here was allowed to put on make-up before their big picture in the newspaper, and oh no... It was horrible. She needs to steer clear until she's in junior high, at least, and even then, lip gloss is about as far as she should go.
By the way, to get back at your ex, just mention to her what's in make-up, like fish scales and bat poop in lip stick... She'll never wear it again!

Answer 7

Yes, I deffinetly think its way too young. And i agree, you cant control what he lets her do at his house, but at your house you can. Now, so that your daughter doesnt think of you as the "bad guy" , why dont you help her take the makeup off, but let her wear just a little lipgloss sometimes, and go to target, and get her some lotions and body sprays to use. And if you are feeling adventurous, let her put on some of that glitter stuff you put on your hands and cheeks. She'll like that, and it will make you not seem as "mean"

Answer 8

I see where this little girl is going to be very confused by both your actions. She cannot do something at his house that is wrong and then come to you and it's not ok.

He is wrong, no 6 year old should be wearing make-up unless it is dress up and she is staying home playing.

I suggest you and your ex have a talk, counselor to mediate, about all of this before this little girl is a teen and he says she can dress like a hooker and you say no.

I think it's wrong for make-up to be worn before 13 and even then, it should be minimal. I see teen girls who look like they belong on the streets, it's horrible.

Answer 9

The media is targeting girls her age to wear makeup, like the Bratz and Barbie play-make up. I think the play makeup is okay in moderation, because even at a young age, it can make her break out. But real makeup? In my opinion, she's far too young.

Answer 10

It really is too young, you should have a talk with him, telling him you don't want your little girl growing up to be a hooker, and wearing making at such a young age isn't good, because think of what she'll be doing when she's a teenager. Set some rules with him.