Hello-------i need help-----i am 41 a mother of three beautiful loving children---my own mother treats/speaks/ and acts out non-loving/caring ways --either through language or simply not calling to say hello to myself or her three grandchildren for 5 1/2 years.
When i lived next door to her in the same city for over 30 years-no free time for me----no mother/daughter bonding time.
She literally states that she has absolutely no free time to call or write-------she works and makes time for everyone else but me-. Every excuse in the world has been used .........i don;t believe most of them. Recently i had surgery & told her.........she brushed it off & didn;t ask about me at all.
I don;t know--------should i ignore her unkind words or really ignore her totally & cut off communicating with her althogether for good. I love her & miss mother daughter relationship.
2007-12-16 09:38:21 · 7 answers · asked by anna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't know what could have happened if you state you once had a mother daughter relationship. Probably, just being honest and asking; what happened that you are not interested in me and the grandkids?
Tell her how hurtful this behavior is and that you want to understand what happened and make amends. If she continues to act like you are nothing, I hate to say it, let it go.
2007-12-16 09:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that.. seems she's always been like this... she's not gonna change.. you as daughter, just keep calling saying hi... and sending cards on holidays birthdays etc... if she appreciates it or not is her deal... you have done your part.... you'll also are gonna set an example of how a daughter or so has to behave even if the mom doesn't deserve it... you may not notice... but your kids do..a nd will act just as you do when they grow up.
2007-12-16 18:01:56 · answer #2 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on you. I can't see in your heart, and that is where the answer is. Common sense and logic says to cut it off with her, but it is family. That makes everything different, and in different ways for different people.
In my opinion, your last sentence says it all. Have you ever asked her about this? Try talking to her, in a calm, adult manner, about how you feel. Or, try to get her to go to a counselor or therapist together and hash this out.
This is a hard time of the year for this emotional family stuff. It is hard any time, but the holidays make is especially rough.
2007-12-16 17:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a tough one. I have a similar dilemma with my dad. I guess its a little messed up, but I convinced myself that he will no longer be a father figure to me, and live my own life. And not repeat the things he did negatively
2007-12-16 17:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by maximus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would cut her off. Mothers are not supposed to be like that. I would not put up with it.
2007-12-16 18:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess she feels akward around you cuz you guys never found something to bond over, so to not feel awkward she brushes you off
2007-12-16 17:42:48 · answer #6 · answered by iloveyou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c-mon, think of it, on the good side at least you are not living with her.
2007-12-16 21:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋