there is this girl i know since more than three years we always talk and i have her like a friend, sister ... i stand by her and i am always there when she need me and so is she . Lately i start ignoring her and not talkin to her anymore or even reply to her messages and soo .. etc .
thats all after she told me that she's falling in love with me and she'd not live without me!! HERE IS THE PROBLEM ACTUALLY ... i Never thought about her as a lover or a love of my life , i like and have her as a SISTER ONLY . she's totally NOT my kind of girls! .. she's not what i am looking for, she totally has TOTAL different thoughts and another different way to live life !!!
NOW, I have no IDEA how to tell her to leave me alone, i really dont want to hurt her ... but at the same time i dont want her to be my life love! :(
and yeah i know i am being pathetic! so yeah .
2007-12-16 09:29:07 · 30 answers · asked by Alian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
coming from a girl;
just tell her you like her more as a friend and you just want to be friends,
she'll just have to understand and deal with it and find somebody else to love, dont ignore her but you dont want to lead her on
2007-12-16 09:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to hurt her? You already have when you stopped talking to her and started ignoring her. Didn't you even bother to tell her why you were doing this? This is not how you should treat anyone who has been your friend. This is rude, mean, and thoughtless. So first of all you need to apologise to her for that.
Then it's time to sit down and talk to her and tell her how you feel. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you never thought of her as anything but a sister and a friend, and that this isn't going to change. Tell her that if she wants to stay friends then you're up for that, but she will have to get over the love thing.
If she can't get over the love thing it might be better for her to not be around you so she doesn't get hurt from loving someone who isn't in love with her. Tell her that. Be kind, be compassionate, and be calm. This is your friend, remember? Treat her that way.
2007-12-16 09:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is tell her that you've always thought of her as only a friend. If she doesn't want to be your friend after that, then there's nothing you can do. Keep in mind that some gals will say OK to being friends while continuing to want to be more and they will expect you to finally open your eyes and see that you love them. That isn't going to happen in this case. So, tell her that.
She's clinging to you now because you are drifting away. That's the way things happen with gals. Sad, but true. Gals go for guys who are "distant" a lot of the time.
So, you can either tell her you're not wanting to date her or you can just keep ignoring her. I know you don't want to hurt her, but no matter what you do now, she's going to be hurt when she realizes she's not the one for you.
2007-12-16 09:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by Serena 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she's gonna get hurt either way, so you might as well be honest with her. She'll realize that you did the right thing and it's better for her in the long run.Just say that you like her as a friend, and you think she's a great girl, but she would be way happier with a different guy. Compliment her and tell her how beautiful she is and that any guy would be lucky to date her, but you two just wouldn't work out. Say she's an awesome friend, that you will always be there for her. But don't expect her to get over it that fats, girls tend to get pretty emotional and overreact sometimes about things like that.
2007-12-16 09:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by hershey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you can do for the girl is be honest with her and then tell her that this is the reason that you will no longer keep in touch with her. The thing is, that if she is really serious about this then her feelings for you wont just go away so the only way to make it better for her is if you cut contact. This will give her the closure that she will need to get over you. If you hang around, you will only break her heart more.
2007-12-16 09:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by miss_cris101 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not being pathetic. Just be honest with her just like you said here. Your not in love with her. You love her like a sister. Just tell her in a kind way because she is going to get very hurt one way or another because you don't feel the same way as she does. If you don't want her to contact you then tell her in a compassionate way. Don't be a jerk and tell her in a mean way.
2007-12-16 09:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately, there's probally not a way to tell her without hurting her. You should be honest with her and stop blowing her off. That probally hurts her more than anything. I'm sure in the long run she'd be happy just to have you as a friend but if you keep ignoring her it will probally ruin your friendship too.
2007-12-16 09:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you just be honest with her? Ignoring her and hoping she will go away is the best way to hurt her. So, just level with her and tell her that you are not interested.
On another note, I think you are being pathetic. Be a man and talk to her in person. Trust me, she will get over you ;)
2007-12-16 09:33:29 · answer #8 · answered by WxEtte 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her. Tell her you do not have those type of feelings for her. I had a best friend that was like that, but I didn't feel the same way. I was always up front with him and even though I could see how much he loved me I just didn't have those same feelings. Life lesson: It is hard finding anyone that will love me as much as he did. Isn't that ironic!
2007-12-16 09:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Nat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's hard, but you have to let her know. That has happend to me with my friends but i tell them that im sorry i only see them as a very good friend and nothing else. It breaks my heart to break their heart but i can't lead them on just like u shoulden't lead her on. it's going to be hard but u have to let her know and ignoring her is not the answer. be a good guy that u are and be honest. If u look at her like a good friend n sister then let her know because u DON'T want to loose a good friend over this. Trust me she will understand. it's going to be hard but at the end of all this you will feel better about it. and no you'r not being pathetic!...
2007-12-16 09:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you start with the truth. If you value your relationship then be direct and tell her exactly your feelings. Tell her you would like to continue being friends. The rest will be up to her. Just do not leave her high and dry. She is your friend, respect her, stop avoiding her.
2007-12-16 09:34:28 · answer #11 · answered by clever girl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋