How do you get your husband to do stuff.....?

Question

Around the house??

I cannot get my husband to do ANYTHING around the house,Here I am almost 7 1/2 months pregnant with our second child and I am still doing EVERYTHING,and I mean EVERYTHING,he doesn't even take the trash out,and I am STILL changing the litter box,Yes I am a SAHM of a 2 year old and he is the bread winner,but he could still help out some....Sometimes I am so tired and stressed out it is unbelievable,and yet I still keep going until I physically can't do anymore.I have talked to him and asked him if he would help me more and he just looks at me with this dumb look on his face.I usually chalk it up to him BEING OF THE MALE SPECIES!! lol but I need a break.....

Does anyone else have problems with this and how do you deal with it??

Answer 1

sadly, this is so common, but usually most men will help out once their wife is pregnant, at least i would hope! First of all try not to nag him because this will just push him farther away...second of all let some of the dishes pile up or the laundry build up and see if he says anything about it. I would also say try talking to him again (make sure you use some tears which you probably won't have to fake anyways!) and put your foot down and tell him how completely exhausted you are. sadly things like this can really hurt a marriage and its VERY important that he starts lending a hand. if he doesn't you can start building up resentment towards him which equals more big problems. if he still doesn't listen maybe marriage counseling. and if that doesn't work hit him over the head with a frying pan and tell him to get his head out of his butt so that he can start helping you! good luck!!

Answer 2

Withhold sex, cooking, doing HIS laundry, etc. Then he'll get the hint. My hubby doesn't do a lot but I ask him to empty the dishwasher when the dishes are clean, take out the trash, and he recently started helping at least carry the laundry since I'm 22 weeks with #2 and we live upstairs and the laundry is far away. I just remind my husband of all I do and eventually he gives in and helps. I think he mostly does stuff to just shut me up so I'll stop complaining. Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes, when I became a SAHM, all of a sudden my husband was on vacation in our house. It drove me nuts.

I do sometimes nag. Frankly, my husband could live in a pigsty and never notice, so if I don't "ahem" and fuss a bit, he doesn't even realize the tower of dishes is about to topple.

Instead, I try to ask him to do *very* direct things. "Would you mind unloading the dishwasher, sweetie?" And then I praise him like crazy for doing it. Now he sometimes unloads the dishwasher or takes out the trash without me asking.

I got the idea from a book about animal training. :)

Answer 4

Be specific and consistent in what you ask for. Talk to him and come up with 3 things that are his job. And write it down if you need to. If you want to exaggerate treating him like a child, make him a chart with stickers :-)

Seriously, don't be vague ("help out more") and don't be random (today it's "empty the litter", tomorrow it's "take out the trash"). Give him a few things that are his job...and when it's not done simply say, "Garbage is your job and it needs to go out." Give him a kiss and say "Thanks, I really appreciate you helping me out a bit" before he even has a chance to whine.

Answer 5

i would let the litter box go i would not for any reason change it the rest of it if im tired all i have to do is ask and my husband with help out and he is the bread winner and he works crazy hours and travels for work but if i need something when he is home he helps me out

Answer 6

Don't just say "I need you to do more"
If you need him to clean the litterbox, say "Go clean the litterbox, please"
If you need the trash taken out, say "Take out the trash, please"

I know it gets tiring, I still did everything (but the litterbox) while working full time in a daycare until I was full term. They need constant reminders, men can be slow like that.

Answer 7

Let him know that you cleaning the litter box can lead to Toxoplasmosis, and it can hurt the baby.. Tell him if you are stressed, the baby is stressed, and that is bad for the baby. Clue him in, maybe he will get the hint.

Answer 8

You should stop doing everything and see how he likes it!

Answer 9

with sexe he should do every thing you need

Answer 10

i don't have to ask him to do anything he does everything because he wants to