trying to smooth out situation, but now i am getting upset?

Question

I had this maid of honor, who was pushy and over bearing. It was really starting to get on my nerves but i chalked it up to jelousy Well she got pregnant and she was having finacial troubles big time to start. so now she is going on welfare to have this baby , so by the time it would come to get a new dress the cost would go up considerably and in addition it would make the other girls have to pay more to particapate and I didn't feel it was fair to them to pay more because of her. So i asked her to take another position as she was really stressing me out

after she concured with everything i said accepted the new position when I presented it to her in a polite manner I never mentioned her nasty behavior traits that were really bugging me. i told her I thought with the cost going up that her baby was more importatint and that she could still particapate in the wedding without the cost. and that her life was about to take a big change and she could really use that money instead

some dress she wouldn't really wear again. she agreed.

well a week goes by and she stops talking to me , I call her and ask he rout to lunch , I call her again and try to talk to her after all she said she understood so what is the problem .
again last night i try to talk to her and nothing ... I never kicked her outof the bridal party just found a differant position for her .
i think she thinks i kicked her out because she is preggy not the case she was just a general terror .
anyways i have tried to talk to her and she is still nasty. and I am getting sick of trying what would you do ?

she didn't become pushy and over bearing until the whole wedding stuff started taking place. All her friends are couples. she is single with one on the way by some guy

the role I gave her was lady in waiting : still part of the bridal party but doesn't have to wear what I ask nor does she have to pay out anything to particapate. ( more like a wedding coordinator)

Answer 1

I think that you did what was right. However, you can't change the fact that she agreed with you and is now upset and possibly feels that you kicked her out of the wedding for being pregnant.

I might write her a letter telling her how you feel right now and how you really care for her and want her to be apart of your wedding but you can't afford to pay for a new dress for her and you couldn't ask her to because you want her baby to be able to have everything it possibly can! Don't be defensive in your letter, just be caring and compassionate. She might also be upset at the fact that she is pregnant and might be a little nervous about the wedding, birth, and financial strain this might put on her.

At the end of your letter I might ask her to please call you so the two of you can get together for lunch as you would really her to stay involved with the wedding and you would like to hear about the baby.

Depending on what role you gave her, please be sure to include her in the program should you be printing one. I am going to assume you have asked her to do a reading, bless the meal or something that is equally as important as being a Maid of Honor and you didn't ask her to hand out programs or bubbles. If you did ask her to do something like this then I can see why she might be more upset than you anticipated and might now be feeling that you have kicked her out of the wedding. And in that case, you should apologize and accept her feelings and see what she might like to do to be apart of your special day.

If you do not want her to be apart of your day at all...then you need to make this clear while still letting her know you want to remain friends.

Answer 2

Why would you want to continue to associate with someone like that, much less ask her to be in your wedding in the first place? She probably got offended because you kept edging her out of the wedding a little bit at a time. Personally, I only wanted my friends in my wedding and I don't associate with people who are pushy or overbearing. Let her stay gone and learn to choose your friends more wisely.

Answer 3

what ? are you thinking about the cost of the dress ? well if you are then proper manners dictate that the brides family pays for the bridesmaids dresses . I really dont understand your ? though .Well if you have really had enough of her then just tell her that maybe she should think twice about being pregnant and being in the wedding .and you are worried about her health and comfort and if she still does not seem to care then she will have to deal with it . good luck and god bless.

Answer 4

What is the question???