she seems to be in control and after today it has to change. nothin is ever her fault. i love her so i have always tried to see past it. we get in an argument. she ignores me for a few days, and then i say sorry even if its not my fault and i shouldnt say sorry, but i do just to make things back to normal. but this time im not doing it. we got in an argument today and i know she will try to ignore me, so im not going to call. im going to see how many weeks it takes before she calles me. what can i do to change the tables, to make it to were what i say goes instead of it being what she says goes. im a laid back kinda guy. but i need to start being in control instead of her.
2007-12-16 08:10:29 · 11 answers · asked by music man 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
eating were i like instead of it always being her choice, after all, im paying for it. watching what i wanna watch sometimes....and here is the big one for me. when we are in my ar, i wanna listed to what i wanna listen to. she always takes control. if i say anything or try and change it back she gets snappy and says that no other guy would do that, and in her world thats true, because they just want in her pants, so of coarse they dont cre whats on the radio.
2007-12-16 08:13:56 · update #1
the question is what can i do to take control, flip the tables. sure, i can wait for her to call me. but thats not going to change everything. the "what she says, goes" thing needs to stop.
2007-12-16 08:17:42 · update #2
Is there a question in here?
Then you need to decide what you want, what is acceptable to you. Relationships involve compromise, but if you are doing all the giving it is not healthy. Remember she may not agree with your decisions, and it could mean the end of the relationship. So you have to be prepared for that possibility. You must decide what you want, communicate it to her so that she understands, and hopefully come to an agreement. If you cannot agree, you have to be prepared to take the next step. As in, "either we ned to have a more equitable relationship, or we need to break up." If you're taking the time to ask about this, I'm guessing you'd prefer for the relationship to continue if things change for the better. However, that may not happen, and it may be better in the long run for you to find someone who shows you equal respect and does not give you the cold shoulder for weeks when she does not get her way. Hope you can develop or find a more mature relationship!
2007-12-16 08:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by A Non 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, no one person should be in control. It should be mutual. But I don't think you should call her. Make her see that you are fed up with always being the one to try and smooth things over. If something is her fault then she needs to realize it, grow up, and apologize. That's all there is to it. If she can't do that, then I wouldn't waste my time with her.
2007-12-16 08:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your attitude is extremly postive! Good on you mate!
I think she likes knowing that you need her. I think that if or when she calls tell her you need to talk. Keep telling yourself that you dont need her and you have nothing to apologise for.
You need to make it clear that you are stronger than she thinks and that you think that the arguments are getting out of hand. If you decide you need time apart then so be it. You dont need her if shes like this all the time
I hope you and her - whoever she is - can work things out.
2007-12-16 08:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by xdizzynessx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a good plan,however you must be aware that this may end it .Which is really not a bad thing.If it ends you'll defiantly get respect and who knows,eventually you might get back together and have the kind of relationship you really want
2007-12-16 08:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to be in control just cuz your a guy. okay? but, she does sound pathetic. so, all you need to do is confront her. leave a message on her phone that says "you know what? if you wish to ignore me, i'll ignore you too. we'll just see how you like it." do the exact same things that she does to you, just so that she can see how much crap she is puttin u through.
2007-12-16 08:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Cullen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do. I JUST went thru that and it's not a happy place to be after YEARS.
2007-12-16 08:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Halo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. good idea. i think she acts that way because she knows youre a nice guy and that you'll always come back
2007-12-16 08:13:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to resist being a doormat. Don't give up.
2007-12-16 08:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by 2kool4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE.LOVE..LOVE..what kinda love is that when you gotta be and do whatever she says, hey she dosent call..find someone else dude.!!!!!!!
2007-12-16 08:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by JOHNNY C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely... take control;)
2007-12-16 08:14:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋