For the past 10 or so years (I'm 28) I've been lying to my family and friends. I lie about everything, big and small, sometimes I know I'm doing it, but most of the time the lie comes out of my mouth before I have a chance to tell the truth. Recently my lying got really out of control, to the point where its torn apart my 5 year relationship, I've lost most of my friends, my mother doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I know I need to seek help, but don't know where to turn. I've tried seeing a psychologist, a social worker, I've been to various groups, nothing seems to be helping. I'm in central CT and was wondering if anyone could recommend a Dr or psychologist that may be able to help me with this. I know the change must come from within, but where do I start?? It seems that I go speak to people about this and they all say the same thing...I dont know much about your problem...whats that helping? Even if someone had the number of a referal system..I'm desperate, please hel
2007-12-16 08:02:57 · 6 answers · asked by Rachel 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You have to be honest with your psychologist in order for it to work. You've gotten to the first step, where you're recognizing your problems, and now you need to tell everything you know. Get it off your chest and let it OUT! I wish you luck, and know that therapy always works if you do the work. It's sometimes really tough, but it makes you a much better person.
2007-12-16 08:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by ebec11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an alcoholic only your liquid is the lying. You need to do it one minute at a time.
Promise yourself that you are going to start today, RIGHT NOW, not next week and not tomorrow morning. NOW....to tell the truth or just SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
Tell your family and friends, that you have this problem (assuming some do not know) and that you are making the attempt to change. If you walk away from them...it is because you were about to lie and could not stop so you just turn and leave.
EVERY TIME YOU ARE ABOUT TO SPEAK ask yourself is this the truth??? If not then just don't speak, if it is not the truth, and you cannot stop the lie....turn an walk away.
I once worked with a compulsive lier. He could not help himself. We all knew it and treated him as such. We never knew when he was telling the truth or lying. It was a miserable time for him and his friends. He was a delightful person.....but you could not trust anything he said.
2007-12-16 08:18:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Possibly you are a pathological liar. My experience is that people who are pathological liars lie because they are seeking to manipulate others and avoid some negative consequence. What they fail to see is that the consequence they seek to avoid in the long term is minor compared with the damage they do to their credibility.
Their are cognitive behavior therapy procedures that can be used to combat this condition.
First, begin to record every situation in which you find yourself lying. Describe the situation and try to determine why you lied and what you hoped to gain. Then go back to the person and explain what you did and why you did it. Apologize. Tell them you have a problem, you want to stop. Do this privately of course. Tell them you are working at stopping this behavior. This will be so incredibly embarrassing for you, I know, but you may be rewarded for your HONESTY. If your lie has hurt anyone, try to make amends. Then you will punish yourself and the behavior. Remember, you are not a bad person, you have developed a bad habit and now you are going to change it. Practice telling the truth or being quiet and not talking. be happy that yor young enough so that if you change you have time to enjoy the rest of your life. It may take me a while, but I may be able to send you some material. I have to check. Contact me, if you like.
2007-12-16 08:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by cavassi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am going to be very blunt here!!! The time to quit lying is 28 years ago!!! My fiancee was lying to me about little and big things. He finally was getting caught in his lies and couldn't live up to what he was telling EVERYONE! He ended up committing suicide when he couldn't live the life he had set up in his "imaginary" world. Now don't get me wrong---I love him and would take him back in a heart beat, but get your act together. You need to wake up and smell the roses. Lies only lead to more lies and pretty soon you end up forgetting what the lies were and as you said, YOU are losing friends and family because of it. Try this, every time you tell a lie, within 24 hours you have to go back and tell the truth!!! Lies are a bad habit used by the devil to deceive---what's your reason????
2007-12-16 08:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by grandmapattydawn55 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off my friend ,you have taken the first step and you have confessed to lying. Lying is form of low self esteem,not to say that you have low self esteem but all these years you boosted yourself up to look better...It starts when your a child and the more you got away with lying the better you felt.So now you have brought it into your adult life and you start believeing in your lies more and more untill you have come to a point of hurting people ..now you know its wrong now you need to stop!! No Doctor or Magic Pill can help you .Only you!!!! and you have taken the first step. Now my advice is to go to church and talk to a priest or whatever faith you are ..they will help you ...You Can Do It I BELIEVE In You Bless You
2007-12-16 08:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you sure your not lying about this? go to a shrink and seek their help. sounds like you need someone to talk to
2007-12-16 08:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋