my in laws are horrible to both me and dh. he wanted to have a closer relationship with them so we moved countries to be nearer them, leaving my own family. they have treated us horribly and never seemed bothered that we lived near by never phoning, visiting or taking any interest. dh has constant fall outs with them and in the 4 years we've lived near them have had several periods of not speaking from them. i've tried and tried to get along biting my tongue etc.. when my first child was due nobody in his family would speak to me as dh fell out with them. they tried to sabotage his new business etc.. and now my second child has been born they don't show much interest either, don't bother to visit but expect us to bring them round. since latest big fall out we told them we're moving back to my country as my family will support us. dh doesn't want them to see the kids and i agree it's too stressful.. am i being mean to them? i know they have told the rest of his family not to talk to us.
2007-12-16 03:43:03 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They made their beds now they can lay in them. No it is not mean to keep the kids away.
2007-12-16 03:48:21 · answer #1 · answered by ziggy_brat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well old folks are quite hard to understand att imes....i can imagine wut ur going through..and specially when ur were preg...but heyyy..i shld even be talking abt that..see the best way is to just let the past be in the past ok. then u start feeling bitter even more...
if they cant come to visit..then wheneer u have time..uand dh go bring them over..let the kids play with them..or talk to thema nd ask them lots of questions abt their past......
im sure they are very happy to be grandparents...but they just dont know how to show it.....sometimes it must be their nature..to be so....Shall remember to pray abt ur situration..if im u id wanna go somewhere else....
talk to ur hubby and come to a decision.....if they really dont want u guys around then wut the point? if they are very old then its best u stay around.to help them in their time of need..no matter how cruel they might be acting..still they are paretns..and we hve o take care of old folks...but if they are not so old then y dont u and dh go back to ur place...it will be much better dont u think? even for the kids..they need ppl who are loving and caring...coz they will get to know all this and it wont be nice...they will stop respecting their grandparents one day....
also see wut i have learnt is..when u stay far away from folks...they seem to care more..u know..evne u will think of them...but when u start living together or int he same vicinity...things get rough...
anways i dont think ur being mean at all here.!!
just dont get angry with them...we ahve to love the ppl who even try to do harm to us..or try to hurt us knowingly or unknowingly...that is wut God wants us to do so dont worry ok.
TC
2007-12-16 04:12:54 · answer #2 · answered by Marki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a choice and stick with it. Run like the wind!!!
2007-12-16 03:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by rder80 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋