my 2 year old is depressed?

Question

my 2 year old is depressed. u see his daddy has deployed to iraq for the 3 time. the last time my son was a baby and was clueless. well my son cries daily for him doesn't sleep throughout the night, won't eat half the time the other half throws up from crying do much. i know that he need time but its been almost 2 months. he has lots of his daddy pics . but he still is sad all the time. i took him to the doctor and they told me i could put him on drugs. i not into that idea. i've have read every parenting book but nothing seems to help. see he only 2 so he has no concept of time. he a sad and mad little boy. he doesn't understand why his daddy had to go to work far away. and advice?
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my hubby is in a place where internet hardly works and phones go out often. if we are lucky he call once a week

i also have a 11 month old daughter so its hard to split my time between the 2

Answer 1

check with the local base family center
they will have DVDs with Elmo about his daddy deploying

this helped my daughter immensely
she was also 2 the last time her dad deployed and wouldn't eat

also look into what the base has to offer as far as activities and such for families of deployed service members

don't put him on drugs this is something he needs to get used to and don't worry he will get used to it eventually

if you can send your husband packages then send him either a video camera or a tape recorder so he can record a message for your son

every time his dad calls let him say hi

let your son help you with care packages and such

also every night while my husband is gone i kiss caiti twice and tell her it's from daddy
when i talk to daddy i tell caiti daddy sent kisses for her and give them to her

i have also told her that every time she kisses daddy's picture he feels it

there is a website where you can get a doll with a picture of daddy on it (or if you can sew get some iron on paper and some soft fabric and cotton and make it yourself much cheaper)
i cant remember the website but you should be able to get it from your family center along with alot of information on how to help your child deal with deployment

tell him daddy went to help people that are hurt and daddy will be back soon

Answer 2

This hurts yes. Be honest. Flat out honest because this is what will make YOU feel better. I'm a single mom and my then 2 1/2 year old would cry long and horribly about missing daddy, wants daddy to move back in. Which I'm amazed that her memory allowed for it. SO rather than distract from the FACT that 'daddy was hard headed' ect...I delved into the truth (without insults) and told her daddy was hardheaded, that's why he don't live with us (she laughed a little bit hearing familiar word ahem, hardheaded).

Why not tell your son where daddy is and what for - it's true ain't it? Tell him again and again and again. So long as it's true. Regardless of the amount of time spent away, at least you will have never lied to your son or turned your head from what's really going on.

I never had a baby before this one, so I was worried she might be 'depressesed' too. I didn't go to doctors because they're always offering dope and pills, not the ACTUAL ANSWERS you son wants.

Are you making yourself available to your son's feelings? Ask your son and keep asking him to talk about his feelings toward his dad - it's o.k. (You don't have to go into politics, and fatality counts, and troop withdrawal stuff that adults hear). Put it in a kid's context! You can play with an airplane over a map and tell him that's what daddy's doing...kinda right? Right?

Did you tell your son he can talk to you anytime about his daddy? Say whenever you feel like it we can talk about your daddy.

Answer 3

Please don't put your child on drugs. He is just going through a natural phase of missing his Daddy. Just keep telling him that Daddy will be back soon and loves him very much. And if Daddy calls, let him hear his voice on the phone, maybe give him something that belongs to Daddy, to "take care of" till Daddy gets back. Maybe have him draw a special picture with you that you can send to Daddy and tell him how much Daddy loves getting his pictures. If Daddy used to play with him, he could just be getting bored because his buddy is away right now.

My sister has a two year old that is going through the same thing. Drugs are not the answer, especially at such a young age.

Answer 4

How did he handle his new sister's arrival? There is good chance that is the main issue psychologically with him, and he may have found a way to reclaim all the attention. There is physical issue to be concerned about-- Is he losing weight? If he is losing weight your doctors suggestion might be needed short term. Would try to include him as much as possible when thing are being done with his sister, and keep reinforcing that he still special. Should your husband be that large of a factor in his life, which is great long term, and you have VCR or better DVD camera recorder tape messages to dad with question he asks, and have return message answer question he asked his Dad. Make a home soon calendar. Best of Luck. Bet billion Bush gave rat's a** when his father went away.

Answer 5

First of all do not put a 2 year old on psychotropic drugs. They are strong and addicting.
There is a reason your son is depressed. You know what it is. It is a reasonable thing to be depressed about. You know that it will probably be solved eventually.
Make sure you keep telling him that Daddy loves him and it isn't his fault Daddy had to go. He is a good little boy and Daddy is very proud of him. Mommy loves him too and is so proud that he is being brave.
Let him talk about Daddy if he wants to.
Don't baby him because he isn't happy. Keep him in his regular schedule etc with whatever regular responsibilities he has.

Answer 6

when you said step son, that almost gives it away.Since his mother is not the nicest person, the child may be having difficulty in trusting other women. He most likely had problems in what Erik Erikson called the trust vs. mistrust stage with his mother.. I would try to get him help, cause he may have problems in the future, especially with going to school later on, he may have problems with other girls, etc. He also may have problems with people leaving him, since his mother doesn't look like she's in the picture, therefore, whenever the person he really trusts (his dad) leaves the room, he cries. Children can have depression by the way, it's very common with boys under the age of 10, but it's rare that a child has depression under the age of 4, but it's a possibility. I would talk to his pediatrician and see what he says, and go from there.

Answer 7

I, like you don't always like to have kids on any meds that affect brain chemistry . However some short term LOW dosage anti anxiety meds may help. In the past three years, they've made numerous advances in this area. Try to get a referral to a pediatric psychitrist, this way you can get the lowest effective does, with the minimum amount of time taking it. Most generally gad's can be corrected within seven days, and the new meds won't make your son feel like a zombie. Give it a try, have failth, and my wife and I pray daily for those overseas serving in Iraq. God Bless!!!

Answer 8

If i were you i would try playing with him to get his mind off things or take him somewhere like a toy store and have him pick out something then he will be occupied with the toy and not think of his daddy or you could just put in a cartoon movie and sit down and watch it with him. I know he's only 2 but it might work!

Answer 9

First of all, don't listen to anyone who says a child that age can't be depressed. Children as young as three months old can become depressed. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot. I agree with your decision not to medicate him. Instead, try having him draw pictures for Daddy whenever he misses him. Can he call or email with your help? Also, look into groups for children who have deployed parent; there are plenty of groups that could help your son get to know other children who have a parent overseas.
Here are also some children's books that might help your son understand why Daddy is away: http://militaryfamilybooks.com/productcart/pc/viewCategories.asp?idCategory=3
Just keep trying to explain it to him as best you can, and assure him that his daddy loves him very much and can't wait to see him. Good luck.

Answer 10

Give him lots of attention and TLC. Play with him as much as you can, the way that he likes to play. This will distract him if the problem is missing his dad. Take him outside if it's not too cold where you are and play chase or tag, wear him out. It'll increase his appetite and help him to sleep better at night. It's more work for you to be really actively engaged with him, but he needs that right now. Eventually his needs will be met and things will settle down. Eventually he won't need you quite as much. But right now, he needs you more than ever.

Make sure you have a good, reliable sitter who will play with him, the way he likes to play, too. You need to make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. You need to deal with any feelings you may have so you can come back recharged and ready to play with your son and give him all the attention he needs.

Was he like this at all before his dad left at all? You may also want the early childhood department of your local school to evaluate him, make sure everything is OK. Your pediatrician is not qualified to do these evaluations, you need someone who specializes in this. The school district can help, even though your son is just 2.

Regardless of what happens, love him up, play with him. Do those things that comfort him. He needs some peace and so do you. Don't forget to also do the things that comfort you and make you happy. This is a tough time for both of you. Good luck, my prayers are with you.

P.S. I know it's hard to divide your attention betwwen both of your children, but do your best to give him more. You can do it and it'll make all the difference!