we do alot of things together and have set a date to have sex, i am so nervous about things that i am having bad dreams and have really grown uncomfortable with my body (my chest). how do i get rid of these fears so i can do what is expected of me? what is the best way to make sure he and i do things right? IM me if you wish to also, any help is appreciated.
2007-12-16 02:25:36 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're not ready, don't do it. Doesn't matter who it is with, what matters if you are ready for the act and any possible repercussions.
Sex not occur before:
1. You are ready to deal with a pregnancy, should it occur
2. You are ready to deal with an STD, should it occur
3. When you know how a woman can become pregnant (all the ways it can occur)
4. When you know what the various STDs are and how they are transmitted and how to help protect against them
5. When you are ready to insist your partner wear a condom (female) or insist that you wear one (male)
6. When you are on a reliable form of birth control and using it properly (female) or ensure that she is (male)
7. When you are ready to deal with any emotional issues that may come from being intimate with another person
Until you've got those things covered, you should not have sex.
2007-12-16 02:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good to plan (OK so you set a date, but you've got the lube and condoms right??). However, if you're nervous, or feeling bad about yourself - it's just going to snowball and you probably won't enjoy it.
If you see him and you don't get wet in the panties (sorry to be crude, but seriously if you can't handle that then you don't need to be having sex) and want him BAD - then don't have sex. You should ONLY have sex b/c you want it and you want him. Not b/c he's your first b/f or b/c he is your b/f or b/c you think you love him or any of that stuff. Do it b/c you're in the mood and you want some. (obviously caring for/loving somebody helps the mood)
Instead of sex, why not just experiment and play? It doesn't always have to be about old-fashioned vanilla sex. Get to know your own body first, (you masturbate right?) and get to know his. Be comfortable with yourself and each other. The rest will follow. But never, ever do anything that you're not comfortable with. If he complains, give him a hand-job and send him home - boys like it when we touch their penis. :P
2007-12-16 02:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by sappho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is all wrong
i first had sex a year ago lovex
we had it when we were ready
not nervous because it messes things up hehe
been throught the nervous part so we tried it when we set a romantic date out.
we went out for a meal / cinema lol.
went back to his house , slow, romantic music on, quiet house then things just happened. USED A CONDOM lol.
you shouldnt set a date because thats just like setting a date to be nervous. like a concert, you should do it when its right love. not when u think the dates good time!.
hope things go well love. =]
x enjoy every moment of it, and make sure hes the right guy! not the type to have sex, ditch and spread it around x
all the best x....
P.s - you shouldnt worry about your body hun.
if he really loves you then he wont care. no1 is perfeect.
and if he doesnt apreciate you for who you are then hes not the right guy for sex.
and anyway hes probably thinking the same about his penis =]
2007-12-16 02:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why did you guys set a date? that a bad sign already. and you say to do what expected of you? a horrible sign. you should not have sex with him. No No No No No No No don't have sex with your first bf. he's your first bf, doesn't mean he has to be the person you lose your virginity to. Can you handle the fact that you might become pregnant, get an StD, deal with the emontial consequences of sex? Are you ready to become a mother? Is he ready to be a father? Are you willling to have an Std? How long do you plan on staying with this guy?
2007-12-16 02:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by kitcatss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, from the way you are talking you are not ready yet.
The fact that you have to set a date to have sex isn't a very good idea and it will freak you out; you'll be nervous and you may back out. Or if you actually do have sex on this fixed date, you might regret it. But, everyone reacts differently to these type of things, i.e. you might find it to be the best day of your life, who knows?
Just remember that sex is no biggie, it should be spontaneous and you bought should want it...
Who says you' re gonna be "in the mood" on the fixed date??
2007-12-16 02:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by wdf05171987 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If really does sound like you are being pressured to do something that you aren't ready for. I think it is you using the phrase "do what is expected of me". There is nothing *expected* of you, sex with someone is about enjoying it and being together and loving someone. It sounds like you are looking at it like a task to do that you are worried about doing right.
Sex should be natural for us and when you are ready for it you won't be having bad dreams or be nervous like this. Examine if this is really what you want and if it isn't, then wait. If he loves you he won't mind waiting.
And if you do have sex... see the answer near the beginning that told you to use condoms, spermacide, talk about past experiences and all that. They are pretty on the ball.
2007-12-16 02:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by AshaLynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm first of all.. you shouldn't have sex cause you feel it's "expected of you"
do it when you're ready. and if he doesn't like it then tell him to hit the road and go find some slut to be with cuz you have higher standards.
that said.. losing your virginity is an awful experience at best and is going to be awkward no matter what you do. So put that performance anxiety aside. Nobody's great at it the first go.
As far as setting a date... well, ditch that plan, too. let it happen when it will naturally. when you're both ready.
You're not obligated to have sex with him in any way, so take it slow and USE PROTECTION!!
2007-12-16 02:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by spookynative 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm gonna could form of trust the final chick you do not sound like your being very mature with the entire concern. you're asking the internet for help and your not likely to get countless help there. How approximately asking somebody you recognize and have faith like a discern, instructor, or somebody this is older and has some existence adventure. And sure it incredibly is going to harm you yet i think of you sound like your too youthful to be doing that or in line with threat your in simple terms extremely immature asking questions like that. you incredibly could be asking your mum and dad what they think of of what your going to do. dropping your virginity could be some thing particular and not some thing thats deliberate out with silky underclothes and a field of condoms and a rented hotel room.
2016-10-11 09:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your very young. If you have bad gut feelings don't do it. Wait till your ready and find the right person. Most guys move on after that and go to the next one. If your not ready to be a mom don't do it!
2007-12-16 02:32:59 · answer #9 · answered by Leonidas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't set a date to have sex!
Don't do it!
I can tell you are FEELING PRESSURED, that's ALWAYS A BAD SIGN!
He will probably dump you after you have sex with him.
You're not ready!
This kind of thing shouldn't be scheduled . . . like the saying "Let nature take its course"
2007-12-16 02:29:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋