how can i? any suggestions?

Question

how can i control my anger...and be more patient.
Yesterday i had a huge fight my my older sister because she went out and lied to me, she said i'm going out w/ my girlfriends but i'm positive she went out w/ a guy!
She's been really rude to me for about a week, i'm freaking out, what if she goes out with her psycho ex again? that freak almost burned our car!!
then mom protects her so everything was blamed on me as always? am i stuck up? should i just mind my own business and not irritate my sick mom (mom is going to be on dyalisis)
how can i control my attitude..when i get irritated and blamed about everything i start crying and shaking :(

Answer 1

I think you should leave your sister be, you've warned her, now let her make her own mistakes. If your mum is ill and is protecting your sister she probably knows what you are saying deep down is true, but is too tired to argue and just wants some peace and quiet in the house.
Be the bigger person (which can be hard) when she is rude to you, smile and walk away. She will not get the effect she wanted and will eventually stop. You will earn respect that way. If she says something extremely disrespectful, something that runs deep and hurts you, say firmly how that made you feel and how she is never to say it again.
You aren't stuck up, you just want the best for your family.

To control that anger, walk away, just walk away every time, don't let your anger peak because if you reply to your sisters mean comments it will definitely spiral out of control.

When you are angry and upset just write or draw how you feel, by the time you are done with this you will feel calmer. I actually play my guitar to cool off, so if you have an alternative hobby, go for that!

Answer 2

Your a loaded person right now. You can't control what your older sister does. I'm sorry about that. Your both going through a lot because if your mom is going on dialysis then I know she has a serious problem. Your both dealing with it in your own ways. Maybe your mom is just too tired to deal with fighting sisters right now. Do you have a journal? Sometimes writing when your angry calms you down. Or are you athletic? Running is a great way to get anger out as it feels like you can just run past all the madness. My favorite right now is taking a hot bath with candles and crying till i feel better! But, on another note. Talk to someone, a close friend, a councelor, your dad(?). Your family is going through a lot. Your sister probably figures she can do what she wants because your mom is sick and who is going to stop her. Try to let it go and focus on helping your mother get through this. Maybe just being with her will help ease some of your hurt and anger. E-mail me if the going gets to tough and just vent whatever your thinking ok? Good Luck and blessings to your mother!

Answer 3

It can be okay to be angry. Let yourself be angry sometimes but make sure that it is reasonable to be angry. When you begin to feel angry do a mental check...is this legitimate (being lied to is a legitimate reason to be angry) and then do a countdown. If you can remove yourself from the situation until you can be slightly more reasonable do so. If not this process may have calmed you down enough. Deep breaths are amazingly helpful.

It is not the anger you can control so much as the reaction to the anger.

My son was in therapy for a while to learn how to direct his anger into other arenas. His solution was to go scream into a pillow and then do something that brought him back to a new place (he watches anime for about 5-10 minutes). After that he can deal with the situation in way that stops some of the other reactions of anger (crying, shaking, etc.).

Answer 4

to control your anger- meditate, do yoga, take a breath of fresh air or just take up some sport that you enjoy.
abt your sis- she might be going through a tough phase.maybe she is not comfortable with you knowing that she went out with a guy[if she did that is]. give it some time and i'm sure she'll come around soon enough.
try to chill awhile. if your mum is ill then help her out. maybe she knows something you dont. dont worry this too shall pass and all will be well. dont get irritated with your sis, instead, try seeing it from her point of view.
however, if you feel you cant take this anymore then confront your sis or tell your mum how you feel. i'm sure she'll understand.well. whatevr u do, best of luck and try to relax.

Answer 5

I'm just like you. I have anger controlling problems, but here's some suggestions.

Scream into a pillow
Cry your anger out (Really works)
Draw, Paint, Etc.

Try having a talk with your sister and listen to what she has to say, and try to make up. Then talk with your mom.

Hope I helped!
x

Answer 6

Maybe if you and your sister had some respect for each other and talked nice to each other,life in that house would be great your mom is ill you need to start losing that anger its not healthy and being angry gets you no where .I can understand your worrying about her but try a little tenderness and sit down and talk civil to each other...lose the anger before it destroys you...........

Answer 7

This is a good question. Something that helps me (sometimes) is to cultivate a distance in my mind. For instance, imagine that you are a researcher observing the interaction in your family. "Oh, she is being unfair again? How interesting to watch this dynamic!" This can help take away the emotional reaction.

Also, you can try to count to 10 (or 100?). Take deep breaths.

Answer 8

aww
its ok to be angry sometimes
believe me i am having the same problem because it seems like everyone is against you
but when you think that
have you ever thought not everyone could be against you we are just over exaggerating
when i am mad
i just go in my room
and turn on music and write what i think in a journal then i hide where no one can see it
and thats how i get rid of my anger
good luck :]
hope i helped! :]

Answer 9

poor you, the only thing i can suggest is close your eyes, pretend you are no longer there and breathe deeply and clear your mind, do that for 10 counts and open your eyes and try again, you may think you look silly but its trying to make your mind clear :)
If yu cant do it on your own you may want to see a proffesional that will defo be able to help you :)

Answer 10

You are too concerned with things that are none of your business. Dialysis sucks, take care of your mom.