This girl I've been seeing since October admitted to cheating on me with an ex. While we started talking again. At first I thought it wouldn't bother me but that night I couldn't sleep at all. She gave me the drunk excuse! I confronted after i really thought about the sitaution. I told her it was a bogus thing to do and I wanted nothing to do with her. I told her she knew what would happen and worse of all she called me the same day she did it and acted like nothing happen! She started begging and pleading with me. She told me she made a mistake and she was fallin' for me. She told me she'd never put herself in the position agian. I ended being w/ her that night and we're talking again. Why is it easier to tell a friend or family member to leave a cheater... but difficult when its u?
2007-12-16 01:56:58 · 25 answers · asked by Vesdog! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You believe what you want to believe. Just remember - being drunk isn't an excuse. You've only been seeing her for a few months. Cut your losses and find someone who will be true to YOU.
2007-12-16 01:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's easier because, as a friend, you aren't emotionally involved in the situation, which lets you be make decisions objectively. That said, I would never accept the "I was drunk" excuse. She put herself in that situation with her ex. She was the one doing the drinking - no one held her down and poured the alcohol down her throat. And pleading just doesn't cut it - it doesn't change the facts in any way. A responsible and caring g/f wouldn't have met up with her ex without letting you know - and certainly wouldn't have been drinking.
I suspect that she was planning (at least subconsciously) for this to happen, and the drink was to loosen her inhibitions enough to allow herself to go through with it - as well as giving herself an "excuse." And it's possible that she wasn't drunk at all, but is using drunkenness as an excuse anyway.
It was irresponsible, uncaring and cruel. And if she gets away with it, there's a good chance that she'll walk all over you again.
2007-12-16 10:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice to you that I ever got is, "An ex is an ex for a reason." If this person cheated on you, that should be it. I understand making mistakes but it doesn't seem like you are comfortable with this relationship anymore. That being said, you don't want to be in a relationship that you always have to worry about something...always having those thoughts in the back of your mind. You are better off just letting her go. If it is really meant to be, give it time, a few months not just a few weeks or days. If after a few months she wants to still be with you, and you haven't talked in those few months, then re-consider. I know it's hard to take your own advice because "you're" the one in the situation...but it's true. Don't be in a relationship because you are lonely and miss them, be in it because you trust them whole heartedly. If not, let it be...You'll be fine buddy!
2007-12-16 10:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by harroldreyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOOL, FOOL FOOL!!!
It's Christmas time, she just wants a gift!
If she's that weak behind her ex, he'll hit it again soon.
And, think for yourself. Does she ever sleep with you without a condom?
The girl may come back one day with a STD in tow.
She doesn't deserve a decent guy.
Just tell her that you need some time, and that you guys need to chill throughout the holidays and let's see what happens after the first of the year.
Right now, everyone wants someone during the holidays, it's challenging to be alone, and this will make a great test.
Because if she's truly a sl**, she'll cling and give it up to someone during this period of time. The you'll know.
See this is a great example of DISRESPECT.
2007-12-16 10:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by dtown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think our egos hate to admit that someone could really cheat on us, or we want to excuse them to make our egos feel better.And it's easier to say move on than it is to actually move on.
Taking her back will delay the hurt, and it may even intensify it.
The question right now is do you want to break up before Christmas or after?
I don't see how you could trust her since she went out and got drunk iwth someone she's already done the do with. She knew the odds were strong that she's hop into the sack with the ex.
She sounds like the old Hank Williams song, she'll do me, she'll do you, she's got that kind of loving.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-16 10:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by pinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's harder because you are emotionally invested in your own relationship. When it's family or a friend, you can be objective (unattached emotionally) If you want to give her another shot, then give her another shot. You will not trust her for a while though, thats inevitable. The relationship will most likely be uncomfortable on both ends... her feeling guilty and you feeling betrayed. It's just never the same after one cheats.
2007-12-16 10:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think its an easier said than done type of thing. But, at the same time u have to remember that no one has to deal with the consquences of ur actions but you, so you are the only one that matters. If u wanna deal with a cheater, thats on u. But u do have to consider, its been a month....her ex is who she cheated with....she's not over him.
2007-12-16 10:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by Kee_shaunie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always difficult to lose someone you love, no matter how much they wronged you. The saddest part is often that is a sign that you truly deeply love someone - that your love is unconditional and not just a manifestation of a mutually beneficial relationship.
Never the less, my advice to you would be to move on, and refuse to even speak to her again until you are sure you are "over" her. Perhaps she has learned from her mistake - i hope so for her sake. But you can't take that risk, it would destroy you to have to go through it again.
You can always have fond thoughts of your good times and wish her the best, but time to move on.
2007-12-16 10:03:07 · answer #8 · answered by Some dude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have feelings for her and it hurts that she would betray the trust that you put in her. It always hurts worse when it happens to you. Just don't take her back as she will probably do it again, or you will always be thinking about it. But if you really love her then maybe give her a chance to earn back your trust.
2007-12-16 10:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by david h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a fool..but think hard..
Do you love this girl? Really? Truly?
Being drunk is not exactly the greatest excuse for cheating.
There may be something missing in your relationship.
You need to find out what that is..or she may drunk cheat again..
2007-12-16 10:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋