im in a long distance relationship with my bf, sometimes it feels i have to make all the effort to stay in touch, he never texts unless i do, i stay up late to talk to him on IM, he said he would ring me yesterday but didnt.
Im annoyed he didnt ring,but i feel like if i say anything ill come across as needy. what u think?
2007-12-16 01:29:45 · 28 answers · asked by spdy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask him what is going on, why he is only communicating when you start first. If he does not have an acceptable reason, he could just be leading you on until he sees you the next time.
Communication needs to be a two-way street during a long distance relationship. Sometimes absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Sometimes absence is just an absence of emotion.
2007-12-16 01:35:04 · answer #1 · answered by jpbofohio 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you here because I too, am in a long distance relationship. My answer is that YES you do have a right to be annoyed because to keep a long distance relationship alive, there needs to be as much giving as there is taking. He need to put the effort in, otherwise you'll end up feeling emotionally drained and resentful. By being lazy, and letting you do all the work, he's injecting anamosity into your relationship and it will only prove to destroy it in the end. I'm not one for mind games, because what advice I am going to give, I cannot be sure I'd be able to follow it, but you should just say "fine," and let him contact you when he wants. Maybe if you aren't always there to keep the bridge in your relationship in place, he'll have to do some work. Also, you'll see how strong your relationship actually is. I'm grateful that I don't have this to contend with, because being apart is hard enough.
Play hard to get!!
Good luck! xx
2007-12-16 09:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds rather one sided to me. My advice for what it's worth don't contact him, wait until he contacts you. If he likes you as much as you like him he will soon contact you when he doesn't hear from you. Sometimes men need to be left to feel insecure to realise that they are being neglectful. It should be an equal relationship and you shouldn't be making all the effort. Other than this it may be best to talk to him and explain how this is making you feel. It depends on how long you've been together and how close you are. If it's a relatively new relationship I would take my first advice and not contact him, wait for him to contact you. If you are close and have been together for some time I would talk to him about how it is making you feel. It is up to you so goodluck I hope this helps.
2007-12-16 09:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by Trouble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grr! MEN! I am annoyed at him for you!!! We are all allowed to feel however we want to! That just makes us human!
Then of course, there is that saying that you can "choose" to feel mad at him or not? it is a "choice"? So, Maybe you should relax and let him contact you. When he does contact you, I think you should calmly mention your feelings. Then, see what happens over time. Is he innocently busy? or is it more of a disinterest in your relationship kind of thing? (wouldn't he make time for your relationship? if it was important to him?)
I like what the other posters said about you being "too available" and I also liked the person that said that he needs to feel just a tiny bit insecure... (as if he may not win your love? Is that the right word?? and if he does not win your love, someone else will!!! because you are a wonderful person, worth loving!!!)
PS. A good quote: from Dr. John Gray from his book "men are from Mars women are from Venus"
Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away and they getting close again.
Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. it is neither his fault nor her fault. It is a natural cycle.
2007-12-17 10:45:46 · answer #4 · answered by Imagine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has to be rough on you you're not going to like what I tell you either.I'm not trying to be rude, I would like to say please don't make him your main focus. If you think he loves you less than you Love him that's not good. Please spend sometime making you a better person you're spending way to much time on him. I'm a man too, so i did have some male friends that did this. It was a game and it hurts, I don't hang out with them much anymore. This is crap to do to a girl.. Go out date or do something spend sometime on you look Hot" I hate that word but alot of people are using it... take care of you and stop being so available. Let him wonder about you for a change and get some male friends too I wouldn't trust him as much either sorry but that's the way I feel Dear.
2007-12-16 09:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by Tony Burke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to say something. Relationships should be a give and take experience. If you don't say something right away, you'll establish a pattern of accepting this kind of behavior. Besides, you need to look at your self respect. If you don't express yourself honestly in any relationship, it not only detracts from the relationship, it erodes your self esteem. Tell him in a kind and loving way that this makes you feel __________ and this is uncomfortable and you wish not to continue to feel this way. His response will tell you a lot about "who" he really is and if he is the type of person that you can be in an honest and open relationship with. Good luck and remember, you deserve to be treated with courtesy and respect as do all human beings.
2007-12-16 09:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by carinjohnson@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is busy with someone or something else....it doesnt sound like he is as into a long distance relationship as you are.... on the other hand guys are not that good at staying in touch so maybe he is just a flake
2007-12-16 09:33:56 · answer #7 · answered by fordmommywife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah i would be annoyed and i would ask him why he didn't ring. You don't have to ask in a bitchy way either, just ask casually. Has it always been this way?
Try leaving the texts and calling for a bit and see what he does, maybe he's just used to you making all the effort and needs to pull his socks up.
2007-12-16 09:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by athalia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's two of you in the relationship, so there should be two of you trying to keep in contact with each other, I'd let him know that it is bothering you . Its not quite nagging, just let him know what's on your mind cause that's not fair to you. I'd also watch out too cause he could be with someone else down there {sorry to make ya think that} but you gotta keep all ideas open. If he keeps pulling the crap that he won't contact you , only you contact him I'd be done with him {if he keeps it up then he's not intrested anymore}.
2007-12-16 09:35:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be annoyed. A relationship is supposed to be two way. He doesn't have a right to keep you waiting for his call or whatever. You need to have a talk with him to see if he wants to remain in this relationship or not. Let him know there are plently of huys nearby.
2007-12-16 09:35:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋