i need help forgetting the past?

Question

i don't love myself and i feel empty i think its because of who i was in the past. the past wasn't that long ago actually.basically all my life ive been fat and made fun of for wearing ugly boy clothes and been made fun of for being smelly and just for saying stupid things. ( i have a habbit of not thinking before i speak) about a yr ago i lost alot of weight im still big but i look and smell alot better.but the past still haunts me. my ex treated me horribly and worst of all i let him alot of bad things happened between us he was just using me for a green card and money and he was the first person i loved. the signs were all around and i refused to see them. after he left me i did even more stupid things.i was staying with his sister for vacation and when my ex left me i began to cry and locked myself in a room and began to cut myself i had sex with a one of his estranged cousins in his taxicab without protection and i told a couple people and then everyone else found out. im still

ashamed foe everyting that happened. my ex married a couple of days before we were supposed to marry. i know that i was only 17 about to be 18 at the time this happened. my family and his family r very close and i feel like they all think im stupid. i do too. i just want to put this all behind me and be a new me but i cant i feel like they all have me labeled as an idiot and i cant forget his family they are basically like my family too. also i forgave my ex i dont cry for him anymore but i haven't forgivven myself

Answer 1

first of all stay away from anyone who disrespects you even if they are from your own family.find new friends believe in yourself exercise everyday built confidance, go out smile at people find a good church to meet new people. make this a new years resolution but start today. good luck

Answer 2

In order to let go of the past, you might need to learn to love yourself. Then you can forgive yourself. If you have been feeling poorly about yourself for a very long time this make take awhile, but it is well worth your effort. Your weight loss is a great first step in recovering your self esteem....congratulations!!

It is common during the low times of our lives to allow others to make us feel bad about ourselves. The good thing is that you recognized this behavior in your ex. and saw the need to move on. Some people remain in bad relationships long past the expiration date, but you have survived it and raised the bar, so now it is behind you. Another smart move! :)

Haven't we all committed acts that we regret? Join the club. What is important now is what you do going forward. Culture new interests. Try exploring creative outlets like art or music. Get involved in something that helps others. This will take your mind off of your past mistakes[which we all need to grow] and will foster more positive feelings about who you are to become. Surround yourself with positive-minded supportive people. Close the door on negative relationships-they aren't good for you.

One day you will look back on this time and realize it was a good lesson learned and that you are a fuller person for it.

Blessings!

Answer 3

You already said it 'you don't Love yourself" This is the problem. Not loving yourself the Love bank is empty dear make some deposits in the Love bank Start by taking care of yourself I'm a man I love women that take care of themselves, Long soak in a tub, finger nails and toenails trimmed and painted wow I love a real lady. Your nerves are going to cause you to eat more again, you better get started on yourself if you want a different and better life then you have to Think differently. Start by making big changes. see how clean you keep your room or house or apartment, keep things in order. have order in your life. control your life Love your life.
Things that come easy are cheap, (EASY come easy go)
A lady that smells like a flower is a flower and dress nice make your laundry perfect if something has a wrinkle iron it.
This takes' alot of work but how much do you want a better life; Make plans feeling sorry for yourself leads to pitty. No don't even do that. you seem to care about what people think no get to it and make them think you're Grand... By changing you by Loving you by caring about you, Oh and flash that smile Babe have fun Dear and the past is in the past today is a new day there's alot of new one's comming your way don't waste one of them ...

Answer 4

The only way to beat the past is to start liking yourself. Start believing in yourself, make an effort with your appearance and get out there and mingle. You do not have to look like a stick insect to be attractive and sexy. Larger ladies can be just as beautiful, but it is up to you to find that beauty bring it out. Learn to appreciate who you are and what you have to offer and you will find that others will too.

I was badly abused as a child, and my past haunted me for years. It is because of this abuse and I became a virtual recluse and now suffer from social anxiety disorder. But it was this way of thinking that helped me through it. I still have my bad days but I keep making an effort and keep smiling and it makes a difference. Try it, you don't have anything to lose fo you.

Answer 5

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. It is a cliche but it is true. Stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future and just try to concentrate on the here and now, because that is all that is important. Really in a few years who will remember all that stuff?....Well maybe a few people, but it loses importance as time goes on...

Answer 6

You're looking at this wrong. If you forget the past you won't learn from it. And if all that drama didn't at least make you a little wiser there is no justice.

So learn from your mistakes. Don't make them again. The longer you keep doing the right things, the less that time in your life will seem like a nightmare.

Answer 7

you have to put your past behind and look at everything positive now. even if it doesnt have anything to do with relationships, find something your good at and go with that. go back to school or find a better job. take on a hobby or volunteer work. do something that makes you feel good and everyone will see that. you need to do something to make yourself feel good. take a night a week and pamper yourself. invest in face masks and foot scrubs.. throw in a good chick flick and take time for yourself. write in a journal when your stressed.. set new goals for yourself and go for it. and when your ready to date and get out there again, someone you least expect will come along and treat you right. but its going to take some time to be ok with yourself before you can be ok in another relationship. everyone makes mistakes. dont let them take over and help you make bad decisions later. learn from them and make better ones for the future.

Answer 8

If you like who you are then you are fine, now you just need to find someone that likes you for who you are, and that person is out there. If you dont like who you are, then you need to change that, you are the only one that can do that. The past is done, you cannot change that, but you can make the future what you want it to be. Everyone has those things in the past that haunt them, thats life, but you have to look past them and learn from them. Be the person you want to be, there is someone out there who will like you for who you are, big or small. Mistakes, or not. Someone is out there for you, just dont make the same mistakes twice, and you will be fine.

Answer 9

keep your head up and keep improving. love yourself before you can move forward. your ex just brought you down to his level if not lower just to make sure you wouldnt go anywhere if he broke up or got divorced. trust me you are better than that. I mean look how far you have come already. and with the family issue if they really cared they would accept you for who you are not what they think about you. And that part I know from experience cuz some of my fam hate my husband and thpse same some use me aas thier scape goat for their problems. and hun misery loves company so stay away from people that you feel miserable around or if they are miserable themselves.

Answer 10

you have to look to today, forget about yesterday no matter how hard that may be.

focus on who you are today, because yesterday truely is just a shell of your body... there are no quick cures to forgetting the past, but with time you will do well if you just believe in yourself.

you are worth a lot more than you think... be strong, this world is a huge test, rough... but it's able to be completed.