I personally was married before my first, but who am I to say you need to be married? My cousin has 7 children with her boyfriend, they've been together since they were 19, they're now in their 40's and going strong. They are responsible people, who both work in charity, and are excellent parents (and soon to be foster parents). And there are many other couples like this in the world. What do people think gives them the right to judge people like that as *wrong*?
2007-12-15 23:12:32 · 13 answers · asked by Sam J 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Who knows!!!
I have been with my man for 7 years now. He was my first and only boyfriend. We have 2yo twin boys and not being married doesn't take anything away from us being great parents.
We are getting married this year (in 9 days actually) and are expecting another baby next year in May.
I personally couldn't careless what people thought of us. It is our life, not their life to live.
xxxxx
2007-12-15 23:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
What is a real marriage supposed to be? It is an Eternal Covenant between the Man and the Woman and God that their marital should last beyond the grave, and throughout eternity, with children born to them forever. Anything less that this is in opposition the the plans of God for the happiness of his children (us). Living together, as it's called, denies any permanence of the arragements, and in many cases, allows serial monogamy, as well as infidelity in all it's forms. The resultant ofspring then grow up, not knowing their own parentage, or siblings, and whilst the former is emotionally harmfull, the latter is socially disasterous & unhealthy in the event of inbreeding. SDT are also a major problem for the sexually transient. Some unmarried couples make lasting ralationships, and modern lawmakers have blurred the lines, but what was intended from the beginning is what is important, and less that that unhappiness.
2007-12-15 23:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by friedach 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Your friends are an exception to the rule. Generally, it is better to be married before you have children because having a child with someone is a lifetime commitment. You should have a child with a partner that you feel that you can raise children with, and if you don't feel strong enough in your relationship to make that sort of bond with them, then having children with them is a bad idea. Btw, this comes from someone who had 2 children before being married.
2007-12-16 07:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by missbeans 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't know many people who sit around judging unmarried people for having children. I do know some who disagree with it, but they certainly don't obsess over it. It sounds like you know a lot of people, though, who do. Just chalk it up to their own personal "quirks". Everybody has at least something that they feel really strongly about.
2007-12-16 00:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by glurpy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you do not believe in the Christian religion, or any of the other major religions of today. Not all support marriage first, but very many do... its that simple. Some people actually practice what they say they believe in...
2007-12-16 00:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
because if you aren't married, the man isn't tied down to the baby by law- unless he is on the birth certificate (which isn't mandatory to fill out the fathers name if you are single).
But anyway, the sentiment of marriage before children harkens back to traditional society values.
There is nothing wrong with tradition.
Also- marriage is a display of comitment. If you are comited to a person 100% then why no marry them?
Also- religion dictates that a man and woman should be married (before sex) and therefore before babies.
2007-12-15 23:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by kaddykat 4 · 7⤊ 3⤋
Your friends are the exception to the rule. Most women who have children without being married find it difficult to properly care for them financially.
2007-12-15 23:22:46 · answer #7 · answered by Veritas 7 · 7⤊ 3⤋
i totally agree, im married now and due in april with my first, i wanted to be married before i had my baby because i wanted all of us to have the same last name, but almost all of my friends and my boss who is 34 and has 2 babys arnt married with babys and i dont like it how people judge i can understand if your catholic or whatever and its a sin bt dont force it on other people, but sometimes marriage can ruin it for people and some people just think its a piece of paper and they dont need that paper to say that they arnt committed, besides marriage isnt always forever and in 2days society we have the highest rate of divorce. but i guess everyone has their opinions and some people dont know when to keep them to themselves.
edit- cant believe how many old fashioned people there are on this website
2007-12-15 23:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Fleur & the gorgi Addyson♥ 5 · 0⤊ 6⤋
Here are some links that will help answer your question.
2007-12-15 23:58:25 · answer #9 · answered by noodlesmycat 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
marriage is only a documented paper. to be presented to court (just in case) especially if one of the couple happened to be irresponsible.
Legal relation is identified as :1) mutual free acceptance, 2) uncovered.
the paper is not a must, but it may be useful.
2007-12-15 23:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 6⤋