doubts about my relationship?

Question

I am with this guy for a very long time now...We are together since 7 years. We were friends first and then got into a relation. We both were going through rough times and got together because we both needed support that the other could provide.
The 1st 3 yrs of the relation went very good but since then we have been fighing alot...almost every alternate day. The fights are because we both like different things and we dont have any interests in common.
This is one of the biggest reasons why i keep getting attracted to other guys.. i feel guilty for it but i cant control my feelings.
My guy doesnt like doing things i want to do. he is always very tired for it. Our dates are no more fun. Its very predictable.
I have already spoken many times about this to him and he says that yaaa he will work on it but things dont really improve..
We are quite opposite in nature...i am very spontaneous and like doing such things and he is very quiet. What should i do? Continue or end it?

Answer 1

no offence but you seem to be blaming everything on him.....there must be a reason why hes acting this way...and its most likely you....maybe...hes stressed out more now...make some time and go on a holiday over a weekend and show him how things you's to be...he most likely has no idea what your going through so he wudn't be doing anyhing....that means you have to.....and u say that he never wants to do the thing you do.......do you even wanna do the things he might wanna do....you never know....for intance if he likes going to the pub with his mates....you should go to....you know what i mean?

Answer 2

Actually, I'm in a relationship right now and experiencing on and off doubts. We've been dating for three months, and after the first month I kind of wanted to break up & try meeting new people. I've gotten this feeling about five times now, but we're still together. I think that when it actually is time for us to break up, I'll be sure about it and I won't worry whether or not it's that right thing. Don't do anything you think you might regret later. Good luck!

Answer 3

If I was in your shoes, I'd end it.

The big question is: can you sustain a relationship with this person for more than 10 years?

As it is, the answer is no.

Perhaps you should talk with him and explain that it's not fun any more. He has said he would work on it but it is not any better.

He is either lying or he is lazy or he thinks you are stupid.

None of these are good indicators for a long term relationship.

I'm not sure why you let it go so long - but perhaps you were giving him time to change.

If you choose to stay in the relationship and not make any moves to change it, you are going to be unhappy. If you go chase other guys, he's going to be unhappy.

Fix it - one way or the other.

Answer 4

I know it's the hardest thing to do but sit down with him ask him "is it worth it?" Do a gut check in the presence of one another and ask "what have we got here?" and "where did we go wrong?" with finaly "can we fix things". Don't treat it like he is failing to live up to your expectaions but rather what do you each want out of the realtionship?
The lack of effort on his part may very well be that he has tried and you just didn't encourage his efforts, or did not even notice them when he did? Hate to say this is the seven year itch but yeah I think it is. This is your in or out time.

I know this is going to sound strange but after talking about all this and this is important have sex and go crazy with it not just the normal stuff and not just for your normal amout of time or routine. Their is going to be fallout from talking like this and if he is having "connection problems" in telling you what he feels we males tend to be non verbal and treat verbal assualts as threating and that won't serve to help the problem. Let him know if your still friends that you are still friends and that your not just ending things by overwhelming him with problems as an attack on him.

Answer 5

Why are you still there?
It is time to move on and find happiness for yourself by meeting someone with whom you can share the real joys of a relationship.
What you have now is not a relationship- just a bad habit.
Soon it will ruin your self-respect and esteem.
I know that it hurts to break-up but if you don't at least separate for a while- you will continue to be in this limbo.
Remember that life is too short to be unhappy!

Good luck...

Answer 6

It seems as though neither of you are happy in this relationship. Attraction to other men may make you feel guilty, but this is a sign that you are not feeling as important and loved as you should and he is not making the effort. It's really up to you, but I think my answer is clear.

Answer 7

In all relationships its like being at sea, ups and downs and good relationships take this in their stride, But if your unhappy and stressed and serous communication has failed, then you will have to decide if its worth staying or moving on! That's the hardest decision to make.!! Good wishes in what ever will make you happy.

Answer 8

I think you're kind of out of control though,guys hated when girls try to change them. I mean if a relationship lasts for 3 years, it must be something really special.

I think you should let it go, if you dont love him enough to except who he is then why are you hanging on to a relationship that you have doubts on?

Answer 9

tbh, you should dump him and get on with your life. there is no point being with someone you just dont...click with. if i were you ide look for a guy who is also spontanious. dating people is suposed to be fun and a good way to get to know people, but this guy seems like your opposite. if the dates arent fun, you might as well just be mates. he says hes guna work on it? its never gunar happen. you need a who is like exactly the same as you, cause that way. there will be nothing you need to work out.

Answer 10

It does not seem the two of you are happy in your relationship, I'm sorry Sweetie, maybe you should walk away and move on.