This is why I come home from college as little as possible. My mom, of course, is never the bad one, always the victim. She yells and screams and cusses, etc. Constant bickering, usually at least one big fight a week. I'm tired of it, I can't deal with it. My brother seems to easily blow it off and not let it get to him when he's home but I dunno how he does it. I wish I could be like that. I'm 23 years old and it STILL upsets me. I've tried to talk to both my parents about it. My dad says he'll try to change but doesn't. He's even tried counseling but I guess it hasn't worked. My mom asserts that she's the victim and my dad's horrible and that her yelling and stuff is how she deals with his issues. I just can't deal with it anymore. Even if I go to grad school, I won't have to come home as much, so this is technically my last 3-week school break to have to spend at home, but I don't want ANOTHER miserable holiday season. How can I deal with it?
2007-12-15 19:11:57 · 5 answers · asked by Michelle G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't stop your parents from bickering, and yelling and screaming... it's how they communicate, and obviously have lived this way for years. do you know that some people thrive on this sort of behavior?
You can realize that your parent's arguments don't belong to you. And even though they are disruptive, technically they are not about you and are not meant to affect you as a person.
If you are deeply affected, you could seek therapy if you like... talk therapy can help us to let things go...and figure out what we need to do in order to retain our sanity in life situations.
take care, and i hope you do have a nice holiday after all.
2007-12-15 19:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough, but it is your parent's relationship. Even though it affects you, it is up to them to sort it out (or not). My suggestion is try to spend more time with your parents out of the house, or spend time with them separately as well. Spend some time with your brother as well. It might be important that you come to some sort of acceptance rather than block it out though, as if you don't want to repeat their patterns in your relationships, maybe you need to understand the problems a bit. Can you go and visit friends or other family for some of your breaks? Maybe if you do start avoiding home a bit, it might get your parents to respond as an added bonus, but if not at least you might reduce the stress it places on you. I hope you do have a good break and Christmas is okay.
2007-12-16 03:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my dear i feel for you see i too grew up in a family sitution when i was younger now i am 43, and i totally understand your dilemma but apparently that is how you parents have grown into being and that is they cant get a point across with raising their voices not good for the children and not good for them either,hang in there hun seems like you have a level head on your shoulders and remember someday youll be able to have a life of your own and will not have to listen to all of it unless you want too and then ya can leave when you have enough...god bless you
2007-12-16 03:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by softheartednana4u2luv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you aren't coming home any more if that is going to continue. You'll stay with other family or friends. You hate to see them act that way.
2007-12-16 04:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by mikk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents need to be responsible because in a few years you are going to do the same things they are doing right now
2007-12-16 03:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by singlegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋