How can I tell my mom that I don't want to go to church?

Question

I don't want to upset anyone but I'm 19 and I think that I should be able to choose whether or not I go to church. We don't go very often only when my grandmother invites us to go with her. However, I always feel awkward, out of place, and slightly like laughing at everyone. I don't know whether or not I believe what is being said and I don't think it should be forced upon me, but I feel like my mom isn't really giving me a choice. My mom is very over-bearing and loves to control every aspect of my life and she NEVER takes anything lightly. What should I do?

I can't move out...I make $7.00 an hour and I have a $300 car payment to make each month, plus insurance, gas, food, bills and all that other necessary stuff. Believe me if I could afford it I would be gone!

oh and she wants me to go to church tomorrow...and when did she tell me this? 30 minutes ago...and when i told her that I had already made plans, what did she say? "oh well too bad"...i should have just told her that i have to work...she never tells me things until the last minute and then just expects me to drop everything and do what she has planned.

and yes i have been to a youth group...and i still feel weird because I just don't understand how they feel about God, I respect their beliefs, I just don't think they are for me.

Answer 1

Move out and then you don't have to follow her rules.

Answer 2

At the age of 19 you are free to say, "I don't want to go to church." This may cause unwanted tension. The choice is yours. If you know it will mean being ostracized by your parents, you can continue going and swallow your discomfort. If you think that your mom will be understanding, try talking to her about your beliefs (or lack thereof) and tell her (tactfully) why you don't want to go to church. Of course, if she's controlling, that might be something you want to get away from. You know how you feel on this issue better than I do, so I don't want to tell you what to do. Make your choice based on the outcome you really desire.

Answer 3

Tell her how you feel in a calm and respectful way. And I would also tell her that since she only goes when her own Mother is there, you feel that it is hypocritical to go at all, but make sure you say this GENTLY! If you scream and pout like a child, then your decisions will be made for you, like a child.

If she still insists then I would go until you are able to move out and live on your own. Unfortunately that may be the price you pay for living on your Mom's charity.

Answer 4

Study the religion more, and find the flaws in it. Then begin to ask embarassing questions. She sounds like she cares more about her social reputation than you... if so, then she will decide to allow you to quietly drop out rather than become a source of controversy.

Also, don't try to move out too soon... play it cool until you have job security, ample savings, and some other basic necessities.

Good luck !

Jeanie

Answer 5

Tell her straight out that you don't want to go. If she tries to still force you, find a way to move out. Get a job and then become room mates ith a friend or something like that. You are of legal age.

Answer 6

Tell her your not going, don't waste your time with logic or explanations. Just say "I'm not going. End of story." If she gives you a hard time just say "I met this guy named JetThrustPY on the Internet and he said I can live with him in his state college dorm room!" Threatening to move out and appearing to have a place to stay should convince your mom that your serious.

P.S. If she does throw you out you could live with me in my state college dorm room. I have bunk-beds ;)

Answer 7

Good mother in a bad way.

You have to start fighting for your own right, believing or not believing in God is not up to your mother but you.

You should tell that to her directly.
Make it as simple as possible but not any simpler.

I feel lucky I don't have a mother like yours =/

RAmen~!

Answer 8

Well i think you should GO
have you ever been to a youth night?
some churches have young adult groups with people your own age to interact with it make Church easier to understand when you hear it form people your own age.

Answer 9

u jus need to talk to her how u actually feel abt it.. be frank.. speak to her nicely.. if happen she scream at u don ever fight back... n must listen to her n let her finish her lines.. tell her tat u understand too.. n hope tat she will respect wht u hv choose.. n u r old enough to decide urself.. tell her u noe she love u n care for u. so do u..(use on my mum b4)
the trick is:
-->listen t wat she say
-->do not shout or scream at her tat she don understnd u blah blah
-->sweet talk to her"i noe u care for/love mi"
-->let her cool down
-->let her noe u hope tat she will respect u

if all this den.. everytime u go church jus act u r veri moddy n sad and grummy..^^

Answer 10

My opinion as a mom? Do what your mom says as long as you are living under her roof. If you don't like her rules then get a job and move out.