Please, I need support?

Question

I am just feeling too sad and I have no one to talk to because it's late at night.

I just got dumped. This always hurts, but it hurts more because I am always dumped for the same reason. Because I am not confident.

No matter how much people tell me to believe in myself, that I am pretty, smart, attractive, etc etc, I just don't FEEL confident. And my being insecure with myself always makes other reject me.

I was crazy about my boyfriend...just crazy about him. And he liked me too until I think he decided I wasn't quite right for him...and surprise surprise...he says, "You care too much about other people and should think more about yourself and about making yourself happy." I've heard that one before.

The thing is, being with him made me happy. It's being rejected that hurts. It's hard to feel confident when people don't seem to accept you as you are, flaws and all.

I've been posting a lot tonight b/c I am upset. Thanks for listening...

Curt Monash: Yes, it's the same one. As I thought about the last few weeks figured out that our problems seem to have started around that night. So you can see how confused I am!! Did he want me to please him? But I was trying too hard to please him?? I'm a little needy, but he told me I'm the least demanding girl he has ever gone out with. See why I'm so confused?

Answer 1

Being Insecure is normal, we all go with this feeling in our lifetime....Beethoven is deaf, but listen to his music- He also feel insecure.

Having no confidence is a normal feeling, there are situations that we lost our self confident , All people in life undergo such situations that they lost their self confident.

Being rejected is normal, we can not assume that all life situations will accept you as you are.

The only people whom I think will accept you as what you are, Is yourself I think.

Life is beautiful, Pls. try to see Life and Situations as a glass Half Full, than a glass Half Empty.

Don't Pity yourself and don't get upset with others.

Your'e feeling is normal, you are not alone, we all go this stages!

What counts is how we cope up with these feelings and situation...Life is just a wheel, when it's time to go up, we all go up!

Answer 2

I found myself very much in this mood alot as well. I've been hurt countless times and it's because I depend on someone else for my happiness..-bad idea!- People are not reliable, you are the only one who has complete control of you. I don't do well in relationships either because I care way too much about what my partner thinks, feels, or what I think he thinks feels. The whole process is a waste of time and definitely deteriorates your self confidience because you create all of this doubt that isn't even real. I don't know how old you are but I know I'm 19 and regardless of your age relationships aren't easy. Honestly there more of a disraction if anything. If people have been telling you you're smart and attractive, run with it! First off, not everybody on this planet is, and take those attributes to make yourself more succesfull! Then the right guy will come along good things come with good people. Dont get in a relationship to make yourself happy you have to love yourself first before anyone can truly love you back anyways! Focus on your career or school or whatever it is you do normally and remember to tell yourself, that your worth whatever you want you just have to take the actual actions to change! I would go watch the movie...'The Secret' if I were you. It's based of of the law of attraction. Don't let a guy determine your happiness and or success, almost all men will let you down in some shape or form, therefore -depend on them for as little as possible!- Go to the gym too that always helps because your body will release natural endorphines that will boost your mood, or walk your dog that always helps me! That way you'll be happy for yourself and in that much better shape for the next Mr.Right that comes along that will truly deserve you! "You just have to go after what you want in life and it doesn't want you back, then it doesn't deserve you anyways!"-Nicole Ritchie...lol yes a little cliche but very true!

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

i think the first thing you should do is make a list of all your flaws and find ways to fix them like confidence for example try to do things that you like more and when you accomplish them you will feel so much better. Have a girls day go to the day spa, get a facial, mani, pedi and get ur hair and make up done then go to a club or a party or just go out with friends and guys will be starring and you will feel really good. Hope i helped! and remember the better you look and feel the better your confidence levels will be! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well, downinthedumps, I think you're fantastic for putting others first. I have always lived my life by giving, and I'm happy and confident in myself. That's why I'm here answering questions... to share this rain drop of wisdom that I possess. And I get a nice dose of personal satisfaction every time I get a best answer.

So I say, "Stay the way you are. You're an angel with a lot to give." And I love you just the way you are, flaws and all.

Answer 5

This is where your life needs to look at a new way of dealing with things like feelings. You don't feel confident, how does one FEEL confidence. This is some thing that one knows about them selves. Now if one does not think to good about themselves find out what Father God thinks of you after being wash by the word of God which is being cleansed by Jesus Christ. White as snow. Forgiven of the bad things that you put yourself down about. Make the effort to put yourself into possitive places. UHHH You can not care for others to much although you maynot beable to be with this person and care for others at the same time by his choice, he may be insacure If helping others make you happy you'll have to learn either to help others with out letting him know or simple take time in your life to help others to help yourself.

Answer 6

you have to be comfortable withyourself quit trying to please everyone else and please our self first confidence comes from within YOU! no-one else can do it it is the way your thinking ! get off the computer aftere you have chosen your best answer and go soak in the tub and make yourself relax and enjoy the "me" time you so worth it !!!! now in the morning your gonna do all the things for you like your hair,nails and toes make up a dress comfortable and wear what you like not any one else and what you feel will eventually will be confidence do this on a regular basis and it will show the confidence will just flow and people will notice the change and when they point out its ju another mark on the board for you hold your head up high and be proud you are who you are!!!! go soak in the tub and come to peace with yourself and be proud of you !!!!!have a great holiday one step at a time okay? i ish you the best babe

Answer 7

I don't think you being insecure is what's getting you dumped, i think it's how you are projecting your insecurities. Other people are picking up on how you feel about yourself, and if you don't like yourself people are gonna get that vibe. Everybody is insecure about something and no one is perfect. You gotta find reasons to like yourself. Take a look around at people that you like, think about why you like them. In most cases the people we are attracted (not just physically)to are ones who have qualities that we admire and hold important to ourselves. Think about the qualities that you posses and why your friends like you. Exuding confidence is tough, but better then exuding confidence is not worrying about what other people are thinking all the time. Do your own thing regardless of what other people think about it. You can't expect other people to like you if you don't like yourself.

Answer 8

Well it's got to be better than overhearing the person you want to ask out saying things like:

"He sits with his legs crossed" "I need a more masculine man."

"Everyone I know thinks he's gay."

"I'm not going out with a guy who has a stuffed toy frog on the dash in his car."

This woman had the looks I would have married but, not the personality.

Someone else always got a crappier story.

Answer 9

If you are under 18 have you ever thought of asking your parents to take you to a thrapist to try and figure out what it is that is making feel this way. You will be surprised that they could help . Good Luck.

Answer 10

THIS MEANS...that you've got to take some time away and find who YOU are. It's true that you can't be right for someone else until you're right for yourself. You just need some time to be YOU and find your passion and love yourself, and get a boost of self esteem. ALL women need this time.