like people are actually getting off on yor misfortunes?
its turning them on enough so they have sex over your turmoil.
which in turn makes you extremely angry and aggressive , but then when your angry, full of rage, resentment and bitterness.....you repel the good people away from you. the caring people.
howd you handle this?
2007-12-15 16:38:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Unfortunately, this happens enough that there is actually a German word for the situation when someone takes joy and pleasure in another person's downfall or bad times. It is: schadenfreude.
I don't know about the sex part, but many people are turned on by all sorts of weird and kinky things. But I think that is a big lie on their part. How do you and other people know they have sex about it? They just TOLD someone that just to try and mess with your head.
When I get really angry, taking really deep breaths and chanting something like, "whatever, whatever, whatever" helps. Also, remembering that they are just trying to watch you get mad. They feel they win when you get upset. "Whatever, whatever, whatever."
These people are losers. It is just a sick game to them. Don't let them win!
Remember that not everyone is like this, caring people can help you get through the rough time, and even agree with you about what horrible people these others are. Plus you can have fun with cool people and take your mid off the toxic people. You win when you are having fun and don't care about them anymore. That's the best revenge. They aren't worth your thoughts.
2007-12-15 17:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by Amelia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, of course they do! Everyone is extremely competitive nowadays and if you are down, some other people feel they are in a better place than at least one other person and it makes them feel good about themselves for a while. Not everyone is like that of course, but many are - and most will vehemently deny it because it's not "nice" and/or they think they are the only one feeling this way. The downside is when you remain angry and aggressive they stay "on top" and you stay down, and they win! What I have observed is that the quicker you can appear back to normal (even if you are still struggling to get back on your feet), the quicker life actually gets back to normal. They will quickly forget it and move on to the next poor sucker with a misfortune. That's how people who don't feel good about themselves get to feel good about themselves.
This will never change as long as people feel the intense need to compete over absolutely everything in life...
2007-12-15 17:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by Cali2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know, I used to think that way too, until I realized that other people don't care about your fortune (or misfortune) as much as you believe. Reflect on how much you dwell on the (mis)fortune of other people. Not a heck of alot - because you have your own problems.
Same with everyone else - people dwell on their own problems. And, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't have personal problems.
Anyway, once I realized the above is as at least partially true, I started "letting go" of things I cannot control (ie other peoples thoughts) and started on the path to a more positive/constructive attitude which focuses on things I can control. Take actions which help optimize your life.
For starters, if you have good people around you, talk to them about your feelings (especially anger and bitterness) so they understand that these feelings are not directed towards them.
2007-12-15 17:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all... yes friends and even family do love to compare lives and do get off when you fall on hard times no matter how much they love you. I think it is just in our nature. Sex? that I never thought of and God I hope not and if it's true I really do not need to know about it.
I do not get resentful or push them away because I let it just flow off my shoulders after all it is my problem not theirs so I have to deal with it not them. Their opinion does not matter. In the end what matters is how you deal with it. I like to be positive and see the glass half full.. not easy at times I know but if you keep a negative attitude it will be a barrier to those around you as people do not like to hang around miserable persons.
2007-12-15 16:55:15 · answer #4 · answered by senubenu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not me- I have so much sympathy for people like that. I was in 'hard times' myself at one time- and I know what you're saying, although I don't totally agree with how you said it...lol
Anyway, I haven't forgotten what it was like. God pulled me out of some pretty tough times and now He expects me to help others who have been through what I was...so I am so very sorry you feel this way! I can totally relate.
Just try the best you can to not let it get you down, angry or discouraged. Just keep doing what you need to do to not only survive, but to pull yourself up and move on in life and make something change for the better...believe me, I KNOW it's easier said than done thought.
I pray you have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful new year to come my friend!
2007-12-15 16:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by + † + Tobias 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nobody should ever get off on the misfortunes of others. Simple reason, no one knows what is round the corner. You could be knocked down and maimed by a car in one second flat, simple as, or any kind of disaster can befall anyone........homelessness, divorce etc. No one is imune. Its like discriminating against old people. That's your future buddy, unless you die young.
2007-12-15 16:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by ketkonen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Norge.. Come on dude... I'm still talking to ya' , but you gotta' do something about the avatar buddy...Sure there are always going to be people who feel some kind of f---ed up validation behind watching other folks struggle. They're the freaks. Don't get all down on your own case, there's a world full of Aholes that will do that for you. Chin up Bro..Merry Christmas Norge..where ever you are.. KTnTexas
2007-12-15 16:52:30 · answer #7 · answered by megagoatbarn 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to stop going round in circles, I feel you can't/ won't/or just somewhere inside don't want to get out of this viscious circle. I am not saying it is ur fault, not at all, but you simpy have to make the first INTENTION to want to end all this & allow the possibility of ajoyous future for yourself.
I only want to ask you this one question: although you donot know or maybe can even see the possibility of a hopeful future, do you belive that in God & with His help all is possible? once you make the intention & the decision that your life is going to one of success & joy, ask God to help you. Then with His help, & strength in Him, you can do it.
& I know you can do it, becos others have been through what you have & maybe worse, & they pulled through. We are all God's children & He loves all equally, & so if they did it, so can you, becos you have as much rights as anyone as God's child.
2007-12-16 05:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah i replied this females question the different day it became into thoroughly diverse yet on the subject of an analogous guy u pronounced he made u fail ur drivers attempt n each thing i informed u suttin mandatory to b executed approximately it cuz of his failure to coach u became into ur bring about failing ur attempt... woman ur 17 yrs old hes 30 no remember if or not he acts 17 doesnt propose he's....hes alot older than u and prolly will do exactly what his pal did...think of approximately it he would look large now yet extremely it incredibly is a front hunni
2016-10-11 09:26:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever heard the phrase what goes around comes around
you must have p these people off in the past to resent you
in the future think a bit more about your attitude toward people and treat them as you would like to be treated maybe this experience has been a much needed lesson for you
2007-12-15 17:16:07 · answer #10 · answered by bigtdotcom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋