Should I pull the plug on my mother?

Question

my mother a few weeks ago was diagnosed with osteoporosis cancer, which is a very late in development and she was given a couple of weeks to live. the doctors told me that she can survive at the most a few weeks if i put her on a machine that pumps her blood for her but it will be very painful for her while she is awake and she wont even be able to move or talk. he also said that i could just pull the plug on her and let her go peacefully even though i would technically be killing her. i don't want to kill my mom and i don't want her to die slowly and painfully but her husband is dead and i have to make the choice soon. what should i do, I know I shouldn’t make my mom die slowly and painfully but I can’t let her go.

Answer 1

If there is nothing that will be able to help her and if keeping her on the machine will only prolong her to live in pain and never having a chance to come out of it, then I personally would have to make the hard call and let my mom go. My parents and I talked about this before and they had said if it ever came down to it to let them go rather then keep them around. Did you and your mother ever talk about it? What do YOU think SHE would want you to do? Its a tuff choice but follow your heart and don't think of it as killing her hun. I am sorry your going threw this. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 2

My grandmother pass with cancer also. It was very painful to see her pass. I just want to tell you that I know how you feel. I am Catholic so I don't believe in pulling the plug. The doctor told my family that my grandma will be in a coma and I was glad she die in her sleep eventhough it was unexpected.

I think you should spend as time as you can with your mother right now. Just being with her and see her there is alot better than just thinking of her.

You should also pray that God will save her from this pain and let her go peacefully.

GOOD LUCK to you.

Answer 3

What you are saying doesn't make sense medically. Doctors routinely provide pain killing medication to remove pain and make the entrance into the "other side" more comfortable at the end of life stages. There shouldn't be any pain involved at all for your mom. In addition, your doctor would NEVER tell you that you would "technically" be killing your mother.

Answer 4

My dad was dieing . Dad said he did not want to be put on a machine. He told me when we were alone. I could not just not tell my mother and 2 sisters. Dad also had a pace maker for his heart . Mom and sisters put him on the machine while I was gone. Dad died a very painful , sad, and hard death. When after a month on the machine mom & sisters turned it off. Dad gasp for air, looked at mom in the eyes. I think dad never forgave me for telling my mother and sisters he had desided to die with out going on the machine.
No turn it off , this is no way to live. Except if your mother can tell you not to.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for you. This is really hard on you. My advice is continue to keep her on sedated so she won't feel any pain. I know you are struggling on your decision, but it would be best to allow God to call her. So don't pull the plug.

You are right it would be like killing your mom. There has been miracles when people came out of it. I just want you to know I promise to keep you and family in my prayers. God bless

Answer 6

If your Mom didn't have a Living Will, and you are left to make the decisions, maybe ask the doctor if he can keep her comfortable (possibly with morphine) for her remaining weeks.

You do not have to put her on machines at all... it's not a requirement, and if you do not put her on the machines, she will leave in a natural way.

Please contact Hospice in your area, for help and advice. They are a WONDERFUL group and provide information for people in your situation. they also provide help with care, support groups and have a wonderful website....see below.

I know how hard it is when your mom is ill... i took care of mine in our home until she died, without any machines...

hugs.

Answer 7

i say, let her go...
dying painfully is everyone's worst nightmare.
if she only has not long to live, and she wishes to go peacefully, then honor her will.
just make sure you tell her everything first.
share your best memories with her so that she'll move on a whole lot happier than she would be if she was still alive.

Answer 8

First, i'm so sorry which you may pass via this. fairly for the duration of the trip season. i be attentive to the style you sense. I had to make an identical determination for my father. 2nd, you won't be killing your mom. never think of that no rely what you come to a determination. What you may ask your self is this. Is my having my mom around, in consistent soreness, worth it understanding that I brought about that soreness. Has she people she desires to make certain in the previous she dies. Is she in a position to speak her desires? while she is wakeful do you have significant conversations? i won't be in a position to make the determination for you, yet i will make it easier to be attentive to what my determination develop into. My father had Alzheimer's. i develop into Daddy's little lady, too. yet i desperate to no longer provide my Dad a feeding tube by fact I knew he did no longer choose to stay around wearing diapers, being wiped sparkling up by potential of others, no longer recognizing absolutely everyone. My Dad develop right into a proud guy continually dressed to the nines. He might have been horrified understanding what occurred to him later in existence. fortuitously, we discovered a great nursing abode that dealt with his physique with the honor it deserved for wearing this style of marvelous guy via this existence. i will make it easier to be attentive to that no rely what you come to a determination, it quite is going to be painful and you have doubts. What might you like finished in case you have been interior an identical concern? Has your mom ever spoken approximately it in the previous. My mom did so back, fortuitously, i did no longer could return to a determination. She had to be an entire code no rely what. It did no longer help while the time got here, yet a minimum of I felt some convenience understanding that I had finished what mom needed. My husband and that i the two have pronounced our desires at length. If there's no desire for restoration, neither persons choose to be saved alive. enable existence progression certainly. yet while your mom is wakeful and conscious, you may attain that she might could say so long to somebody or provide you some very final words. My suggestions and prayers are with you at this very unhappy and complex time. sturdy journeys and vibrant advantages to you, your mom, and your loved ones.

Answer 9

You need to do what she would want you to do. I know it is hard to let her go but would she want to stay alive by machines? You wouldn't be killing her. If it is her time to go the good Lord will take her.
Pray about it. God will give you the answer you need.

Answer 10

do whatever is best for her. if she isnt ready to go yet then dont force her. if she does then stay by her side and just give her all of ur attention and compassion and love. and good luck. god rest in peace =). its not if ur ready to let her go or not, if she would rather die peacfully u must honor her decision and just remembr she lived a long happy life :) <3