Is there any point of living when you are depressed and have no family, friends?

Question

I am a 20 yr old college student who is considering ending his life because i feel like there is no point in living. When people have no friends, they usually can fall back to their family. But for me, i literally have no family or friends. Almost 95% of all my family is in Russia, the only people i have here is my mom, and sister. I never really had a father, he was never there to support us. My sister lives w/ her boyfriend, so i never talk to her or see her. My mom works so much that i really never get to see her. I dont have alot of friends, maybe 1 or 2, but we never do anything. My whole life i have never done anything. In highschool, never went to parties, prom, no sports (even though i love sports), absolutely nothing in which students do. Now in college, i still am not doing anything. The only thing that i do have is that i have maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout junior year. But to me i would give up anything to have friends, family, and to be happy again.

Despite being an accounting major w/ a job and good grades, i feel like i have wasted my life and there is no point in living. I have never been on a date, never had a girlfriend, never got a #. I must be the only person who isnt on myspace becasue i wouldnt have friends to talk to online. I see so many people have fun in life w/ their girlfriends/boyfriends, parties, drinking, and just being ordinary people unlike me who never goes out because there is no one to go out with. I am always either working at my job or studying for school when i should be having fun. I know i am the only one to blame for my problems. It is my fault that i never went out in high school or never opened up to people. But, it is very hard for me because i am so shy and self concious. I'm not deformed or anything like that, but theres things i dont like. I have braces, big nose (broke it 2 yrs ago), tall & skinny (6'2" 140 lb), and i have freckles. Thanks for all those that help.

I've been reading some of the answers, and almost all say to just go out and do things. I know that is the only way to meet new people, but for me it is alot harder than for other people. It might seem easy to everyone else, but to me its really hard. Staying at home for so long, not talking to other people, and feeling really bad about my looks i really do have a hard time going out. I just always am scared on how people might think of me and how they might judge me. I dont know where i got this habit, but throughout high school i really never talked to anyone, even in my family. Instead of telling me to go out, any advice on how to accept my self and be less shy. Thank you

Answer 1

You know, sometimes I feel the exact same way.

But listen, there IS something you're supposed to do.
You are a unique person, and apparently very smart.
You might cure cancer, or help end global warming!

You can do anything you WANT.


Why not join activities at college, meet more people, get more involved.

Find true friends that will stick with you forever.
College is the best time of your life, you should embrace it and do everything and anything thats there.
You only live once, don't let feeling alone keep you from enjoying it.

If you need to talk, you can email me if you like =)

And being shy is just a handicap that very many people are able to conquer.
Only you can overcome it tho.
I have, I used to be painfully shy, until one day I realized, people don't like shy people.
One reason why I WAS shy was because I thought people wouldn't like me.
Another was because I didn't want attention.
I then realized you have more attention on yourself if you are.

Only YOU can make yourself not shy or self conscious.
Its harder than it sounds.
But practice conversations, and watch how other people (not in movies!) do it.
Its easy after a few times, and soon you'll be able to just glide into a conversation with someone you've never met.
I promise.


(oh and joining a church never hurts..I would have probably kiled myself as well had I not had God in my life. He truly is amazing, and without him I'm nothing)

Answer 2

Congratulations on the 4.0! What a great accomplishment! You are an accounting major with very high grades and on his way way to a very promising career! Friends are highly over rated. Friends would distract you from your school work and your job. The "nerds" are the ones that get high marks in school then go onto a fabulous lifestyle. My first two years of high school I was a "nerd" and had very few friends. I worked very hard and got a 4.0 both years. I felt like you and felt like something was missing....I wasn't a "cool kid" so I was never invited to all the fun parties. My last two years of high school I transferred to a new school where I met a bunch of new friends and became "popular" I went to parties all the time and spent so much time focused on all the stupid drama that my grades fell.....Looking back, I was sooo much happier when I had no friends and I had a 4.0.......your education is what really matters!!!! You must be highly intelligent to get those kinds of grades.....why don't you have high confidence? Also, when you are an accountant making lots of money, I bet you will meet a lot of elite people through your job......Also, a good job like that will definately help you on the dating scene. Friends are over rated!!! I used to have tons of friends and be in a sorority in college........I went to all kinds of parties and did some drinking.........What a waste of time! I should have been doing my school work! Now, I left my sorority, got rid of most of my friends (since they are enablers and distract from school work, and now I am much happier!!! THERE IS A POINT IN LIVING SINCE YOU ARE SO SMART AND HAVE A 4.0!!!! YOU COULD GET INTO A VERY GOOD GRAD SCHOOL OR GET A GOOD JOB AS A C.PA. The sky is the limit!!!!!! You shouldn't judge yourself by how many friends you have, instead judge yourself on your academic accomplishments.....DO NOT END YOUR LIFE!!!!!!! Right now it may seem like all the college girls are after the drunken frat boys with their cute looks but in 10 years they will be after the accountants that have good jobs and a nice car!!! YOU ARE GOING PLACES!!! All those ppl with friends spend too much time socializing and then have bad grades....

Answer 3

Hey man, there's no need to go that route. It sounds like you have a great education; no one can ever take that away from you.

Have you graduated from school yet or are you still in college? If you are still in school and have a 4.0 GPA, its ok to slack off a bit. Having a sub 4.0 GPA isn't the end of the world. I graduated college with a 3.0 GPA (barely) and consider myself successful in life. Don't be hesitant to sacrifice your grades a little bit in order to devote time to social activites, sports, clubs, anything that interests you and that you take pleasure in.

Also, maybe you should consider doing some volunteer work occassionally, maybe once a week. I don't know where you are located, but if you are anywhere near a big city, there are always opportunities to volunteer at a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, with elderly people, or even at a hospital with sick children. Sometimes helping others who are less fortunate that yourself can be an inspiring experience.

I realize family is also very important. Are there any opportunities for you to move back to Russia when you graduate and work there? From what I see in the news, it seems the Russian economy is doing well. Perhaps you could move back there when you graduate, so you have an opporunity to have a career and be near your family at the same time.

If you are in college, they probably have some kind of a student support line you can call. Maybe you can even think about speaking with a GA or an RA in your residence hall. Sometimes its good to just have another person to speak with and to share your problems with.

I don't know what other advice to give you, but please don't do anything drastic and please think about some of the things I have mentioned. Everyone has dark times in their lives, but its important to realize that things can always get better and you have the power to improve your situation.


** edit - Volunteering is a great way to meet people, for a variety of reasons. First, if you choose to volunteer in something that interests you (for example, I volunteer with a German Shepherd Rescue group) you will be more likely to open up and talk to the other volunteers, since you already share a common interest. Second, depending on the volunteering you do (such as helping the elderly or working with sick children) the people you help will be so grateful for what you are doing they will be the ones that break the barrier of shyness you mention. An elderly person thanking you profusely for bringing a hot meal to their house (such as if you were to volunteer with Meals on Wheels) would, in all likelihood, make you forget about your perceived social shortcomings. Third, you never know who you might meet or what connections you might make through volunteering. Sometimes someone you volunteer with will know a single girl looking to meet a nice guy. Or they may know of a good job opportunity. Or maybe you will run into someone with a similar ethnic background and you can get that feeling of connectedness with your culture that maybe you are missing by being in the states.


And, as the other posters point out, if you speak with a doctor about your concerns and anxities, they may be able to perscribe some medicine that helps you get through your rough patch. That medicine could also help you with your social anxiety (which, by the way, everyone feels at some point in their life) and be the catalyst you need to help you meet other people and make friends beyond your current circle of friends.

Answer 4

Hello,
Please do not be discouraged because you believe you don't have friends, and it is hard to spend time with your family. Ending your life seems really to harsh. In my opinion, it seems like you exclude yourself somewhat a bit from the others. If you have a 4.0 GPA you're really intelligent, but that would also have probably meant that you spent a lot of time studying. Studying is important, no doubt about that. Heck, I believe studying is as important than friends. You are 20 years old. I bet you will become rich one day and even famous. By then, people would know you. You should try to make friends by approaching new people first, and with your current friends, I think you should try to hang out with them more.
I am sorry that you cannot see you family that much. My father rarely comes home so I do not see him often. I know how it feels, but I still fight to live everyday. I know you have potential, but you are letting the circumstances around you seize your capability to reach that potential.
Ending your life is too much. Do not consider that as a choice.
Best of luck.

Answer 5

I'm not going to get all soft and touchy-feely here, I'm going to get right to it: There's always a point in living. Here's why.

1. You'll be amazed at the impact that lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, sleep), counseling and medication can have on depression. Man up, face this challenge head-on, and get the benefits. I speak from personal experience on this one.

2. Circumstances can and will change. I ran into a long period of rejection by girls, followed by a long period of unemployment, followed by some health problems. Each of these challenges ultimately was resolved. Things get better.

3. You'll probably never know the profound positive impact you have on other people. That one tiny, simple act of kindness or compassion you show someone tomorrow may literally change their lives. Think of how similar experiences have improved yours over the years.

4. If you're dead, there's no more opportunity for revenge against your enemies! Okay, that's a lousy reason, but kind of funny. Don't forget the joy that a sense of humor brings.

Get help now - immediately, right now. It will work. It will make a difference.

Answer 6

Perhaps you might not see the point of life now, but do you think it will be the same 10 years from now? 20? 30? those are a lot of years, and a lot could change, maybie one day you could meet some girl twice as shy as you are also from Russia....but only if you keep living.

Do you want to be happy? You know some people who are laughing their heads off at this moment might not happy at all. Is that better situation than at least being aware of your true feelings? you think so? who knows. You know Í´m from Serbia myself, and back home suicide is a major problem, especially after the wars. But some people pick the hard way out and keep living and make brother hoplesness their best friend. like one of the sermons I heard in church was about someone who confessed that he was thinking of suicide. I don´t know what the priest told him but he included it in his sermon. That made a difference no? You said you have nothing to live for except your mother and brother. But if you´re gone what will they have to live for. its going to be all the harder for them. And what about that girl you might meet in the future. Do you think shes happy bout you thinking like that? Or does she want to see you get help. and live to talk about it.

Zivite.

Answer 7

I'm pushing forty. I've dealt with depression and know how bleak everything seems. But, you're smart enough to know nothing ever remains constant. Nothing. Ever. It will get better. There will be times when things are great. There will be times when they suck. It will always be that way. I was a late bloomer myself, so don't even worry about that crap. Later in life, you'll be very glad you maintained that 4.0. There's plenty of time for girls. Also, I think EVERYONE gets depressed in college. They should bring that up in orientation or something.

Answer 8

I think everyone gets depressed at times. Maybe you should go to a Dr. and get put on something to help you for a while or go for therapy, to have someone to talk to. There are allot of ways you could make friends and help people in need. Volunteer for The Red Cross, help at a homeless shelter, a nursing home , join a Church. You will make friends but you have to smile and speak first and they will get to know you and like you.

Answer 9

If you want things to change, then you have to make the change. Try joining a group or cub that interests you. Your life really is just starting, and what you are going through right now is pretty normal. Rather than waiting for someone to make yiou happy, start looking for ways to help yourself. Go places you normally wouldn't go, and don't be afraid to smile at someone when you pass by.

Answer 10

did you even try to talk to your parents or call your sister to come visit or visit her?
and go back to read what you wrote. you said you didnt do anything your whole life. Then why dont you start now?!
first get a job if you dont have one yet.
then after you get your pay check , GO SHOPPING!!!
and if you love sports, why dont you play some. go the the park and play ball
If you dont have friends try talking to people
my advise --TRY!--
it wouldnt hurt
gosh!! i hate ppl who wants to kill themselves. there are so many ppl out there that didnt get a chance to live to their life to the fullest
so you should.
i shouldnt be telling you this
youre 20 and im only 13