When, if ever, do you start charging your children for board and lodgings?

Question

We have three kids. Which, if any should we send a bill to?

OK so our eldest (19) is at University.. he works part time and over the holidays he used his money to buy a return flight to Banff where he is skiing for four months. He picked up a job over there. He will return in March. We have not contributed any money towards his working holiday.

Our Son (17) is at school but has a job as a gym coach during the week after school and works setting up and dismantling seating for events on weekends. He earns $20 an hour... buys his own clothes and uses his own money for anything he wants.

Our daughter (14 and 9 months) just started at Maccas earning $6 an hour.. and sells chocolates to her school friends during the week ($400/week) to raise money for her trip to the Olympics in China (she is playing saxaphone). We won't be paying for that trip and she buys her own clothes.

Anyway... we are finding it hard to pay the mortgage .. what with three kids and all... so say you?

LOL... my wife just told me her cousin is 43 and hasn't moved out of home yet... surely there IS a limit!.. So what is it?

Answer 1

I think it's fait to charge the 19 year old rent. I think 18 is a good age to start. Give the 17 and 14 year old a break, its good that they are being responsible for their own school clothes, that saves you money. Maybe the mortgage is too high, any thoughts of downsizing there? Or getting a second job?

Answer 2

Ok, I could understand charging rent to a child not in school over the age of 18. But if they're in college and working on their own and paying their own way how could you justify charging them when they arent even living there at the time ( talking about your 19 yr old ) just because you cant pay the mortgage. The 17 yr old seems to be doing fine and once again, how could you charge him rent?? The 14 yr old.. WHAT!!! are you crazy??? you guys need to take after your kids and get either a better job or a second job.

Answer 3

My husband and I have settled this issue WAY in advance (our kids are 8 and 6 lol). We decided that as teenagers, our kids would be responsible for their own gas money, insurance on their car (if they have one), and any clothes that they want that we deem extravagant (we aren't buying them $150 sneakers). Once they reach age 18 (and graduate high school) they will either be working full time and paying rent or going to college. They have a free room here until they have a bachelor's degree, and while we will help with some of their school expenses, they are going to have to work and pay for some of them themselves.

Are you paying your son's tuition and other school fees? If so, and you are having a money crunch, tell him he is going to have to get part time work and start paying a portion of those expenses himself. It would be totally inappropriate for you to ask your underage children to pay rent, especially when they are already buying their own clothes.

Answer 4

When I turned 16 and the Centerlink payments came to me instead of going directly to my parents, I had to give them half ( I think it worked out to $90 per fortnight. Out of what I had left I had to buy school supplies, clothing and anything else I needed that wasn't part of the general household shopping. I also had to do all my own washing etc etc.

You can't really charge your oldest son anything until he moves back in. I'd make sure that the 17 year old is paying for all his own things, except food etc. If he's putting any special financial burden on your household, you might want to talk about him contributing toward that expense, but personally I wouldn't charge him board until he's left school if he continues living with you. And the 14 year old...well she is only 14 and it sounds like she's working her butt off for her trip and pulling her own weight very well.

All in all, it sounds like you've raised a bunch of very money savy, hard working kids...good on you! Sorry to be a wet blanket though, but I don't think you could fairly get much board or rent out of them...

(PS. I don't think it's harsh to make your daughter buy her own clothing if she has the money to do it. Sounds pretty fair to me...)

(PS again. I think that once they start earning their own money or at 16 at the latest, they should get their own clothing etc and pay for thing they really want. But I don't think it's fair to charge rent unless they're at an age where you could reasonably expect them to move out and it's no longer necessary for them to live with you. Ok, that's the last PS ;P)

Answer 5

My family's rule was that you had to contribute monetarily if you were in the house 18 and after. Under 18, they are your responsibility. It is fine to have your younger ones pay for expenses for things like some clothes, school supplies, gas, etc... but not for room & board.

I moved out at 18. But at 20, I had to move back in for 6 months with my parents. They charged me $150 a month and I had to cook dinner 2 nights a week and help out with scheduled chores. I felt this was very reasonable and fair. I was also responsible for any extra expenses I had, such as car insurance and payments, cell phone bill, etc. They did pay for the cost of food and basic toiletries.

Answer 6

I don't think you should charge them! They are your kids, you wanted them. My parents would have never thought to have charged us! I stayed with my parents during college for a couple summers and over holiday breaks. My brother also stayed with them off and on during college.

We worked, had car payments, rent, bills etc. to pay for.

The only reason I can see for charging would be if they aren't going to college and are working but still living at home, then yes, you could ask them to help pay. But if they are in school and working to pay for their own things, then why should they help you out if you aren't going to help them out?

In my opinion, I think it's very selfish and mean of you to even think of charging your kids. They are your kids, you should want to help them out and have them live with you. If you are having trouble paying the bills, YOU as the parents should get a 2nd job.

Answer 7

I don't have children, but I wouldn't recommend parents to take rent or charge for lodgings. After all this house maybe will be theirs one day. If you start dealing with them as a business man and having lodging contracts or deals then it just kills the parental role that you have. The relation becomes more materialistic than a father to his children, they will tell you one day, dude you are taking a charge from us, You don't have any power on us. And remember that one day, you will be old and you need people to stay with you in old age, don't let your children forget you for a bunch of dollars.

After all I said, I would say it is legitimate to ask money from your children as a parent because you are in need of it. Don't push them for paying, give them the freedom to be generous from their own selves. Gather them and tell them that I need money for the house and if you can help me, I would appreciate it from you so much.

Answer 8

my oldest sister is 22 and studying to be a nurse, my bro is 18 going to fire fighter school, and i am 16 and babysitting 1-5 times a week for about 5 different families is my job. we all still live at home. my parents have talked about charging us, but never have. but we do have to pay $5 a month each for Direct TV, $5 a month for our internet, and $23 a month for our cell phones, not to mention we have to do our own laundry. but the other 2 should be moving out soon when they get their careers started, but good luck with your family.

Answer 9

You should never charge your kid to live with you. If you are having a tough time paying the mortgage that's not their fault. If they are getting jobs that money should be their money they should not have to pay their parents rent. That's just plain wrong. Parents are supposed to be their for moral and financial support not vice versa.

Answer 10

My children are also all older also, our oldest is 19, then 18 and 17, they all work, go to school, etc., and we do not charge them for room and board, we both feel as their parents, that is our responsibility. Now, as for the extras, that is THEIR responsibility.

When they got jobs they started having to supply themselves with their "special" shampoos, soaps, clothes, shoes, and even food if it comes to where they don't want to eat what we're having for dinner.

It's worked out good for us, good luck to you.