... that you should "carry on as normal" and that continuing to babysit/fetch and carry your grandsons to school will be "good for you" to help you to "snap out of it" (that is :"snap" out of losing your brother! - and that from an *ONLY* child who could never understand!).
2007-12-15 14:18:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
some people have no understanding about grief ,it affects us all differently ,you cannot hide a broken heart , when you say you've been told to "snap out of it " , that is heartless , why should you ? you need time to grieve do what you can , and if you are finding it hard be honest about it ,we are only human afterall not a machine with an on/off button !!!
2007-12-19 11:53:16 · answer #1 · answered by ♥BEX♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
greive doesnt have a schedule. and people cope in their own way. some may completely break down immediately, for others it can take two wks, especially if they've had a hand in the funeral. it very much down to the individual. grieve does have stages, but people move through them at their own pace and will find their own coping methods, for some, trying to carry on as normal helps them, it shows them that there is still life out their for them. but the one thing thats impossible, is to expect someone to "snap out of it". that just isnt gonna happen, it cant. grieve is deeper than that. so the best thing is only what the bereaved person can decide. if it lingers tho then a bereavment group can help. so if you dont feel you can look after children then you dont. but you may also find comfort in those around you.
2007-12-16 11:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that this is just your form of venting because there doesn't seem to be a real question here... I would say to anyone that tells you to snap out of it, that you will handle your loss in your own way and would appreciate their understanding and if and when you want their advice you will ask for it. Everyone handles grief differently and I'm sure these people are well meaning, and don't want you to just stop your life and dwell on it, but that is not up to them to tell you how you should deal with things unless they are asked.
2007-12-16 21:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by Mel J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you want to do. Everyone deals with grief differently. Don't do anything because someone else wants you too. I lost my brother too almost three years ago (car accident) and it is really hard. You can't just snap out of it. I hate how people who have never experienced a loss think it is so easy to just "get over it". People at my mother's job were being assholes and saying she was using the death to get out of work.
2007-12-15 22:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It always amazes me when people suggest that someone can "snap out of their grief" like they can control their emotions.Dealing with death is a real roller coaster of emotions and you will have good days and bad.Do what you feel you are up to.You do not need to validate your emotions to anyone.We all realize how much you love your grandsons and only you will know when you feel up to caring for them.At this time you must take care of your own health.Take care.
2007-12-15 23:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by gussie 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do whats right for you Joan, as for your daughter in law, it's not just her expecting you to do it, it's your son as well!
If you don't feel up to looking after the kids just now, then take a break, it's not like you haven't already done your fair share, if not more, remember though Joan life is for the living, no matter how hard that may be!
2007-12-16 21:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i lost my brother in a car accident when he was 18. it will be 4 years January 16 you do what you got to do. i was 7 months pregnant at the time. i felt like i wanted to die myself. i didn't think i would ever get over losing him but i did and you will too i promise you will. you'll never get "over" losing him you just learn how to cope and deal with it. i think that being around your grand-kids would help. he probably wouldn't want you being so miserable either that's what my dad said to me. i hope you get through this ruff time soon
2007-12-15 22:31:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no wrong or right way to deal with grief. It is best that you go about your days as normal as you can (life does go on) but that does not mean you are not grieving in the process.
2007-12-15 22:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by the_little_one_said 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is good to carry on with your activities dear Heart. This is a good way to keep your mind balanced and also a positive way to grieve your loss by doing something you love to do and also something your brother would agree about.
2007-12-15 22:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by montralia 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's up to the person who experienced that loss. Everyone deals with loss and grieving differently, there is no wrong way to do it, assuming that the method is not self- or otherwise-destructive.
2007-12-15 22:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by RonaldMegan 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋