20. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gambler, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
21. When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
22. I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
23. Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
24. I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
25. Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
26. It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
27. Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
2007-12-15 13:15:50 · 2 answers · asked by ? 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles