My fiance' and I have decided to get married where we now live and work. We are happy here and have a wonderful new church and a new life here. I moved out here 6 months ago and I am now engaged and we have mutually decided to get married here. We love it here! My Mother is very angry with me and says that people from my hometown will not show up. What should I do?
2007-12-15 12:52:49 · 54 answers · asked by pghdelta04 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Parents haves dreams for their children. Your mom has most likely dreamed of this day since you were born, BUT it does not give her the right to be angry at you!
You did not mention how far you have moved from your hometown, so when deciding where to have your wedding, you have too look at things like........
Where guest are coming from?
Is it too far for people to travel?
If a lot of the guests can't come, do you still want to have it there?
Would you accept that perhaps some people you would love to have at your wedding, may not be able to travel the distance?
Seriously consider all your options, then talk to your mother. You could invite her to come and stay with you, show her your plans and why you would love it there!
Congratulations and good luck!
2007-12-15 22:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sazzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes you and your fiance happy. Your mom will get over herself. She should support you no matter what. Get married where you want to get married. Do not switch your location just because your mom is unhappy. It is your wedding, and what the two of you want is more important than what your mom wants. Your mom should be happy for you. She has no idea whether people from your hometown will show up or not. Just enjoy your day!!
2007-12-15 14:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by boonslilsis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its a wonderful idea to have your wedding in the location where you have started your new life. Although you mother is upset its your day. Do what's convient for you and your fiance'. Your mother will come around. Just be understanding if some of your friends and family aren't able to make it to the wedding.
2007-12-15 14:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you do what makes YOU happy. You are not a child, you are entering a life with your future husband and both of you need to make choices TOGETHER. I'm sorry your mother is mad, but this is a day that you want to remember for the rest of your life. This is your day to be selfish!
If those people in your hometown don't show up who cares? It shows how much they truly care about you in the first place! This is your day, and your mother will get over it. A wedding ceremony is a one in which you profess your lifelong committment in front of the ones you care about and who care for you in return. Anyone who doesn't want to show up due to "location" should keep those unnecessary grudges in your old hometown. Again, your mother will get over it (it's your choice so she really has to get over it...your happiness is all that counts on your wedding day!)
By the way..congratulations and may God bless you and your husband's life together!
2007-12-15 13:04:15 · answer #4 · answered by BIG B MAN 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless your mother is paying for the wedding, it doesn't really matter what she thinks! Even if she is paying, there shouldn't be a stipulation that says you have to get married in your hometown or "no deal." That's ridiculous.
If people decide to not attend your wedding because it's out of town, that's their problem, not yours. Does your mother think you are going to be the first person to have a wedding with out of town guests?
She obviously hasn't realized that you are an adult now and that you want to get married where you now consider home. She needs to wake up and realize this decision has nothing to do with her.
Do what you and your husband want to do - get married where you now consider your home.
2007-12-15 13:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on whether you want guests (and gifts) from your family and the friends of your parents where you grew up, or whether you will be content with just your immediate family plus new friends in the town where you live now. Keep in mind if those people have known you for 6 months or less, they will likely feel much LESS obligated to show up and buy you a gift than the little old ladies your mom has known all your life and gone to the weddings of their daughters & attended showers, bought gifts, etc.
Your mother has a very good point, but it is your day & your choice. Just be prepared to live with the consequences (less guests, less nice gifts, and a mad mom)!
P.S. It also depends on who is paying for it. Traditionally the bride's parents pay for a good bit of the ceremony, but if you & your fiance are paying for it, then naturally you should have more of a say. But if your parents are paying for it, they should not be expected to help plan and pay for things out of town where they are unfamiliar with the choices and how much it will cost, etc. If you are going to have it in your town, then you should be footing the bill.
2007-12-15 12:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What is more important having the wedding the way you want it or how your mom wants it?
Call the people and ask what would keep them from coming and maybe you can make arrangements for those who have trouble with transportation.
Is it too far? Scope out some hotels/motels in your area (maybe even campsites, depending how campy a wedding it is)
If you want to have it where you want it ...try to knock any excuse anybody would have for not coming.
If they dont come then there are always pictures n videos you will be able to share and say sure wished you were there *sigh*....lol
2007-12-15 13:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by Luna 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is your marriage, not your mothers! don't let her push you around now or guilt you into things you don't want! You are starting a new life together with your fiance' do what will make you happy. If people from your hometown won't show up, it could be for one of two reasons, either she is badmouthing you to them with lies, or they just cant' or don't want to spend the money to travel. Either way, it doesn't mean some of them wont send you a gift and wish you well. I promise you, if you let your mom run your wedding, she'll be in bed with you for the rest of your lives!
2007-12-15 12:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by chefddr 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
traditionally the wedding is suppose to take place in the hometown of the bride. but do what is convient for you. maybe your mom is mad because she thinks she won't be able to particpate in the planning. include her. and how far is the wedding site from your hometown.....? the important people and the people who really care will come. i would suggest having the wedding on a three day weekend and sending save the dates...and including your mom A LOT!!!
2007-12-16 11:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by JEMismyname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your wedding where you want. If you can, and if your mom can't afford the fare, pay her travel expenses.
Sometime after your wedding, you and your new husband visit Mom for the weekend, and arrange to have a party in your honor where those who couldn't make your wedding get to celebrate with you. Wear white, have a wedding or wedding-like cake, and have a wonderful party! Show a video of the ceremony.
This was done for a couple in my church who got married in Colorado. When they returned to New York, the church threw a party for them, with quite a few bridal decorations.
2007-12-15 13:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋