Is it rude to sleep during the day and not expect phone calls?

Question

My best friend often stays up until early in the morning and then gets up between 11 and 2, but she takes naps at different times throughout the afternoon and evening (not the same from day to day).

So essentially, there is no way to ensure I won't wake her up when I call. I don't like waking her up and she gets annoyed if I wake her up, but it seems unavoidable. She doesn't work nights and she doesn't have medical problems or insomnia.... I feel like it's rude to sleep during the day and then expect for others not to call you?

Berry: Did you read my question? She doesn't sleep at predictable hours and so I don't know when she will be awake. Please read next time before answering. Thanks!

Answer 1

If she spends her day in bed and doesn't want to be disturbed, she should unplug her phone. If she doesn't want to do that, let her know that you will not be calling her anymore so as to not interfere with her schedule and that she should call you when it is convenient for her....that does not mean you should be available to talk to her when she does call. She will eventually get the message.

Answer 2

Yes, for her to be annoyed and to show it is rude. The normal expectation is the hours that most people keep. Then you leave a margin of error.

So even if "most people" sleep are asleep between, say, 10:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m., those hours are wrong to call. It's better not to call without pre-arrangement later than 9 or before 9 in most cases. And in some cases, for example where there are little babies napping, even that does not work.

But from the description you gave, I think your friend is being unreasonable. The best thing is to get her expectations clear, then let it go, following them if you can, and leaving a message otherwise. (You know, if people make it hard to be a friend, they lose theirs...)

Answer 3

If she is just being lazy and sleeping then no it's not rude. If she worked 3rd and needed sleep during the day that would be another story. If she is going to have that kind of lifestyle she should take her phone off the hook while she sleeps so it won't ring and "disturb" her. In my opinion she has no legitimate excuse for being angry when someone calls in the middle of the afternoon and she is still asleep.

Sorry you are having trouble. I hope things get better for you!!

Answer 4

That would be pretty annoying to the caller. It must be nice to have no responsibilities like that. Anyway, back to the question, I think lots of people wake up grouchy and that's not necessarily rude, just not nice. Maybe you could talk to her and ask her not to be rude when you call because you never know when she's sleeping. Honestly, I would stop calling if this is a common occurance. I'd text her and tell her to call me when she gets a chance (if she's a friend I'd like to keep).

Answer 5

wow, what is her job? that's crazy she can get away with sleeping that much. i had a roomie once that slept really late in the day and was like that. it is not your problem that she is sleeping in weird patterns. tell her you expect her to call YOU, because then it is sure to not annoy her. or switch to emailing her. bottom line is, you are correct: it is rude for her to sleep at all hours in an unpredictable way, and be upset when you call. hasn't she heard of putting the phone on vibrate?

Answer 6

The best thing is to talk to her about it, if she did not want to be disturbed she should turn the phone off, on silent, unplug it..etc. There are many things she can do to avoid being disturbed while she is napping. It is not rude of you to call, its rude of her to be angry with you when a simple off switch on a phone could have avoided her interruption...you would have left a message and been on your way ya know?

Answer 7

Since you know her schedules why not call her when you know she's awake or leave a message on her cellphone or answering machine? I don't think it's rude of her. It's just her lifestyle which you should accommodate as her "best" friend. If you find it "hard" or too "imposing" then it means you are both not suited to each other as friends.

Answer 8

She could get an answering machine or voice mail and turn off the ringer. You might even buy her a machine for Xmas.

Answer 9

I agree, only time its acceptable is if they work during the night. Tell her to get a job and stop wasting her life away in sleeping.

Answer 10

When do u actually see this person? sounds to me you have conflicting schedules. as if you have to make an appointment to call her...maybe re-think things if i were you.