My son is five and I've tried EVERYTHING to help his behavior?

Question

Hey, my son is 5 going on 6 in March, and he is getting worse as the months go on. He never had terrible twos, it started around 3, and I swear, he is sooo bad. He doesn't listen, he screams, gets mad easily, throws things. He likes to try to be in control, I guess, and when he's not, WOW, watch out. And before anyone says anything, it's not me. I have two girls who are older than him, and they acted nothing like this. I have tried spanking, positive reinforcment, rewards when he IS good, time outs, talking.....I can't figure it out. I think if things don't start looking up soon, I'm involving his Doctor.

I just want to make this clear, I do NOT spank him hard, like leave marks or anything , and I ONLY smack his butt with my hand. I never use an object, and I DO NOT abuse my child. I also will not smack him in the face. I try to go down to his level and talk to him, but when he's in a fit of anger, he doesn't want to talk. He also told me after going Secret Santa shopping , after I mad him mad, by not giving him what he wanted that he was taking my gift back, and crossing me off his list. I really do believe there is a medical problem like ADD or something, but I don't really want him on meds. I will if that's the bottom line though.

Answer 1

Wow...this could be my question. I have a son who will be 5 next week, and he was a teriffic child until he turned about 3 and a half. My oldest two are girls, and they are no problem at all. We have had my son evaluated for Special Education so that when he starts kindergarten, he will get the special help he needs. His only problems are behavioral and he has been on meds now for about a year and it really helps. It doesn't make him the "perfect" child by any means, but it helps some. And it helps to get docs involved simply b/c they can offer you support and ideas. There are many children like yours and many parents dealing with this, so you are not alone. I have done a lot of research, so if you need any help or guidance, please let me know. I have a special place in my heart for the square peg in a world full of round holes:)

Answer 2

I know it can be difficult to be dad sometimes. I think either spanking works or it doesn't. If it doesn't then don't. I only spanked when I wanted my son to have a "jolt" to accompany the lecture. For example life threatening situation such as sticking an object in the outlet or running toward the road. A spanking will help a small child remember the lecture that comes with corporal punishment. I think you must try to be on his level find out what he values (video games ,etc) and then you have leverage. Spanking worked for me but once my child reached a certain age then other methods became better. Once I took my sons video games away and he asked for a spanking instead. Sometimes diet can make a differance too. Maybe he has an unknown allergy.

Answer 3

Well, there are too many answers already for me to read before I give you an answer.

My advice would be to be CONSISTENT. If you keep changing how you discipline, he is going to know that he doesn't have to behave because you'll keep trying and trying. Decide what you want to do do discipline him, and just do it. It will take a while for him to realize that you mean business, but he will learn that you actually mean what you say.

Set a limit (like getting dressed... the limit is that he has to get dressed) and give him choices with in that limit. Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red? Do you want to put your socks on first or your shirt? This should help him feel like he does have some control over his life.

There is a book that talks about setting limits that I strongly recommend. It is about limits in a classroom, but the same ideas apply for parenting as well. Again, decide what you feel comfortable with as far as discipline goes, and just do it. Don't change how you handle a situation, unless you are wrong, and enforce what you say. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I think going to a doctor is a great idea. Although, make sure you are open minded. I have a nephew who id now 8 and was on ridilin (sp?) since he was 4 or 5 and it messed him up so much and made him worse than he was (in different ways). Try going to a doctor who specializes in natural supplements. My nephew has been on a natural supplement for 6 months now and has improved so much. He used to have such a temper and be mean and scream and wine all the time, now he is just a sweet boy. So check it out!

Answer 5

Are you being consistent with your punishments. Sometimes we are so tired that we let things slide because it is easier. Throwing and hitting should definitely not be allowed, he can hurt someone else. This requires tougher punishments and a swat is not out of the questions. As for the yelling and screaming, just put him in his room, close the door and let him tire himself out.

P.S. The person who said take away the gluten/sugar may be on to something. My son was bad when he had to much of the stuff.

Answer 6

ok heres my advice as a babysitter : frist as many people said, give him a warning the first time he yels at you or hits you then if he does it again, then spank him until he apologizes.(but tell him he has to look you in teh eyes and apologize,dont just expect him to).do this with any problem he has that YOU think could help him.if you are continueign to do this and it worsens or doesnt get any better, then remove everything from his room except a pillow, and blanket.and tell him he has to stay in there and think about what hes done.every hour go in and see if he apologizes yet and if not then leav and the next hour go back in and repeat.then just continue to do this until he does and let it go on for days if needed.(usually it only takes liike 3 hours at the most but just incase it can go on for days).only bring him his dinner, lunch, and breakfast.do not wake him up during the night to see if he apologizes.if he has to go to school then have him get ready in his room and only leave to go to the bus and to brush his teeth.when he comes home, he has to go staright to his room.hope t works if you try it!
-brianna

Answer 7

want to stop a tantrum?? just throw a glass of cold water on him when he does it, worked on me I have been told, my little girl however, I never called her by name, always her nickname, and ONLY daddy calls her that, if she needed a beatdown all I done was call her by her name and she was on her best behavior because she didn't want daddy mad with her. She's 20 1/2 now been in the army for 2 1/2 years and it still works

Answer 8

Do you spank hard? Do you yell at him at face level? Children will listen, you just have to be tougher. Personally, if none of that worked for me I would smack him good right on his cheek. And not his butt cheek either!!

Dont involve his doctor right away, please. He will probably only put him on some dangerous meds.

Its hard to give good advice if I dont know what exactly he is doing. There is a different way to go about each little act he may do.

Answer 9

Change his diet. Eliminate gluten and all dairy. Punishment, and dicipline. Take things away from him. You need to get control. I know someone that was allowed to rule the house as a child and he is now a 40 year-old control freak that cannot maintain a relationship and has ran his kids off. They can't stand to be around him.

Answer 10

Don't hit him because that wont help..talk to him and maybe you will get some hints on why he is like this...maybe if you talk to him calmly and don't yell then he will remain calm...if that doesn't work tell him to go take a moment in his room... try to treat him with respect so he will do the same for you and try to make him happy.adn sence it is the holidays you could always tell him santa wont bring u presents or hermin the hannakah candle wont give u a present.you could also ignore him.