Why do i keep going back to him?

Question

One of my ex-boyfriends and I were together for almost a Year. When we broke up, it was really really hard on me..But it seemed like he was able to move on really fast. We haven't been together for nearly a year, but we still frequently talk and hang out and stuff...I'm happier when i am with him then i have ever been with anyone else. And conversation just comes naturally. We can talk for hours on end without running out of things to say. He says he still really likes me, but he doesn't love me like he used to, and he said he probably couldn't love me as much as he used to...But yet i'm still here. Going back to him. Every single time. Am I stupid for doing something that I know I shouldn't? Or is it just something that every girl goes through. I've told myself over and over that I was done. That i never wanted to talk to him again, but what makes it even harder is that he's one of my best friends. Be straight up and blunt, and don't tell me what I WANT to hear.

Answer 1

I am in a similiar situation but mine is a little advanced but all I can leave you with "you can't help who you love" and "love is not a decision it is an emotion and emotions are human nature" there are no perfect persons whatever you do please don't ever look at issues that goes on in your life as a "shouldn't" and you are not stupid just "curious" to find out the outcome of your issue that pop up so don't talk down on yourself because it'll only make it harder because if you feel that you are stupid then you will also feel that everyone else feels you stupid and keep in mind anything that is "regretful" should'nt be giving a second thought. Not trying to seem like a counselor but I just want you to make your life easier by finding your own out looks on your life not what the next person think, feel or say about you and what you may do in your life because that is just what it is "YOUR" life so if you think and analyze situations as I do you would not have to question yourself or anyone. So by reading the beginning of this answer you can see how I make lightly of problems that seems to hard to solve, Basically I look at all issues in my life as a learning phase because you live to learn thats why you still alive meaning you learn to love, live, think, gain strength and will power and then you die and that's how I look at my life and then I laugh because I trained myself to laugh at my situations because I have had a hard life and I have cried enough to where life is funny because in these days and times, what more do we have to cry and complain about? Just be grateful BUSH is not our boss he may be the president but he is not my boss he is the boss of those that we watch die everyday overseas now thats what you call depressing and hard to decide and what you are going through should be a laughing matter SO LAUGH because God is your Boss and best believe he will not take or send you through anything you can't handle or look at it in a funny way like I do with my issues and tell yourself GOD not gonna take or send me through anything that will take up to much time to deal with it (LAUGH). Sorry so long when I get a chance to make another person smile and laugh I get carried away.

Answer 2

You seem unhappy with the situation. If it's been going on this long then you are fooling yourself to think it will change. People can say anything but what they do is the real sign of truth (i know that's a trite idea). Just cut it off while you have your self-respect, because there's not much in life you own besides that, know what I mean? Everyone does go through it, but don't use it as an excuse to continue this cycle. Use it as a reason to achieve better than other people. Plus, you're causing yourself to miss out on better opportunities...and they WILL come along, even if not right away. It's always so much better to move on.

Answer 3

You really love him, and it may never go away. I have been dealing with much the same situation for 30 years. No one ever quite measures up and takes his place, each time he comes back I revive the same old feelings. At least in between I don't have to see him, as he usually moves away.
I think men do this because they can. They know you are crazy about them and it is an ego booster to constantly return to someone who has such strong feelings. In this type of relationship there is a huge imbalance of power...and the one who cares the least has power over the other.
Are you stupid for going back to him? I don't know, but if you are so are a lot of us. I do know it will never be what you want so I hope you can finally learn to say no.

Answer 4

You probably keep going back to him because it is rare that one finds another with whom it is congenial. You get along just fine together but he has closed the door on the "love" aspect of the relationship. Why he has done this is just unknown. He may end up just being a really good friend, perhaps even life-long. However, just never will it get to marriage.

My own wife had a relationship with a guy just like this for about forty years or more. I accepted her care for this guy because he was a good man; they may have done a few crazy things when they were young and before she met me; but that's okay.

I finally got to meet him in the hospital just a few years ago and I could tell that he was a good guy. A few months later, he passed away from diabetic neuropathy. My wife and I both were saddened by the loss.

My point is this: It may very well be that you will never marry this guy, but you can keep him in your life because a good friend is good to have. You will likely find another guy (like me) who is even better suited for you as a marriage partner.

Answer 5

Okay- Straight up- but i wont be blunt- you basically still love Him- and it sounds like he is your first love. Now For every single person , the first love is the hardest of all. Now when you say that speaking to him comes naturally, that should be with everyone, you just feel more comfortable with him is all, find someone Else who make you feel just as comfortable and it will be the same. Now as far as trying to get over him, Get yourself involved, go out meet other people, dint come across to him as hung up and desperate, dint play his game, show him that it doesn't bother you, and soon he will be the one coming back to you. Good luck - And Hang in there.

Answer 6

It will hurt like hell but you have to walk away. There are others out there, some will be worse, some a bit better, and then you will find the right one. Don't rush or look for him, learn to be strong on your own. If you can be happy with who you are and love yourself and your life; the right one will come around to be a part of it. You may even be afraid and treat him a bit unfair at times, but he will understand. He will never be the guy you are talking about; but remember, life with him was bad. Learn to live a happy life, because of this relationship you don't think there is anything better.

Answer 7

wow. i am having this same EXACT problem actually. i wish i could tell you to move on but i can't because if it were that easy i wouldn't be going through the same thing. you both had something for each other and it was for awhile. you probably exchanged 'i love you's' and everything else, so if you said it you meant it. i think everyone feels this way and you'll just keep running back to him. which is something i can't find anything wrong with except for the fact that you don't see anyone else that is out there. sorry i don't know if this helped.

Answer 8

He's your "drug"...youre "addicted" to him.

Been there, done that...and its hard as hell to let go.

Youre the only one that can pull yourself away from him. You need to cut the ties that connect you to him. Measure the pros and cons. What good will it do you to keep going back to someone who says they dont love you anymore? It seriously makes you look like youre pressed and you cant manage without him. Dont do that to yourself. You know youre better off w/o him so you need to cut yourself loose. Being friends with him so soon after you broke up ISNT going to work right now...maybe in the future after youve had healing time but nows not the right time. Youve gotta be strong and move forward cause its only gonna get worse and youre gonna make yourself look bad if you keep running back.

Answer 9

i have actually been in your spot before. You going back to him is natural. You still love him and feel that connection and you want him to be the one for you. However, you know deep down he can't be and you are fighting that feeling. He has already told you he can't be inlove with you like he was. He obviously has been upfront with you with his feelings and that is a good thing (most guys aren't like that) so you need to respect it and not keep talking to him if your still having the stronger feelings. you need to break all ties. as hard as it might be because your saying he is a best friend of yours. its for the best for right now. because you need to get over him fully before you can go back to being friends. hopefully that helped you some and made sense. good luck..

Answer 10

Big Daddy V- Scrap. Kane- Keep. Mark Henry- Scrap. Snitsky- Keep. Umaga- Keep. Batista- Keep. Bobby Lashley- Keep. Festus- Keep. Great Khali- Scrap.