I have been in a relationship with this man for 4yrs and recently he cheated with a protitute. Not only did he lie about it at 1st but he made me feel like I was being rude for asking where he was at 4am (we live together). We both have 1 child each from a seperate relationship. We both work, tho his job is not as lucritive as it once was. I am so angry and hurt and think about this everyday. He has said he was sorry and it would never happen again, but why did it happen in the 1st place. I have been in serveral relationships and marriage in my life and ALL have ended poorly after many yrs being devoted to working on things. I am just lost right now and don't know if we would be better off together or apart or how to forget it and move on. A while back we talked about marriage, but when this happened I threatened to leave and he is now not talking any marriage. I dont want to die an old miserable single hag.
2007-12-15 10:11:58 · 23 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok in reply to some of the responses. I can not have kids anymore and I made him go get tested as I was also tested myself when I found out.
2007-12-15 10:24:21 · update #1
Wait , let me get this straight, he cheated with a prostitute and you wanna know if you should forgive him........HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND??? ARE YOU THIS INSECURE???Leave this douche bag and never look back. Obviously the men you are picking are turning out to be losers so next time go for someone COMPLETELY opposite of what you usually go for. AND a lil therapy would do wonders for you!!! BUT if you are gonna stay with him(pathetic) get your tubes tied ASAP!!
2007-12-15 10:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your miserable in the relationship then get out of relationship about two years ago I caught my ex cheating on me he gave me the whole I'm sorry and wont happen again speech and I took him back but two months after it I wasn't happy and I felt nothing being near him. So I just dumped him and move on. I'm in new relationship and I couldn't be happier. You gotta look inside you and decide. Give it sometime and see how you feel. If you still feel like your gonna die an old miserable single hag then take charge of YOUR life go 2 salon get makeover and grab your girlfriends and hit the clubs, do new things that you and your child can do together like karate class rock climbing
2007-12-15 10:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be so difficult to move on from a relationship like that, especially when it has lasted for years. Trying to find closure to the relationship might help. Perhaps you could write a letter to the person telling them goodbye. It will hurt of course, but time passes, and as it does it won't hurt so much to look back and remember. Your life is not over, and you will get past this. Meet new people and make new memories.
2016-05-24 02:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by karine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be able to forgive him, but you won't ever forget. And face it, this is probably the first time you have caught him -- not the first time he has done it. Only you can decide what you will tolerate in a relationship. However, you won't die a lonely, old hag. Having a full life with friends and family will fill the gap while you wait to meet the man you really should be with.
2007-12-15 10:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you need to learn to love yourself! So, what you're saying is your life is defined by your relationship? If you die single, you would have been an old hag? Not your child's beautiful mother? Your vision is askew. If this man cheated with a hooker (NEWS FLASH) this ain't his first time cheating. No guy cheats their first time with a hooker. You need some alone time to figure out why you didn't pack your shyt when you first found this out and why you feel like this is what you deserve.
2007-12-15 10:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the relationship is worth salvaging, then I'd suggest couples counseling and/or individual counseling to learn some coping strategies for dealing with this kind of situation, as the strong emotions and feelings undoubtedly bombarding you now are going to surface now and again even as you go through the healing process. It's possible to do this on your own without counseling, but if you choose to do it on your own, read up on some of these coping strategies yourself so you can arm yourself with valuable tools to help you get through this without inadvertently blaming yourself, beating yourself up about it, or going crazy!
I know this because my best friend is going through this at the present time.
On the other hand, if you're doubting if it's even worth the effort, trust your gut feelings and end it. Always trust your gut feelings! A month or two mourning over a breakup is little price to pay for going against your gut and winding up with someone who ends up breaking your heart regularly over years and years.
2007-12-15 10:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by WAHM in CA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. Why don't you move on and get someone new or see a therapist and discuss your relationships with them and see why your relationships are not working out. If this guy has cheated with a prostitute or with anyone for that matter, he could have brought home a std and given it to you. You need to get tested as soon as possible.
2007-12-15 10:17:29 · answer #7 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you stay you need to set some ground rules and if he breaks even one LEAVE!!! But in my opinion honey he is dangerous and destructive to your sself esteem. What thought went thru your head wwhen you found out he cheated? "Was it something i did?" Am i not good enough in bed?" "Am I not attractive enough for him.?"it made you question yourself right, tell me im wrong!
He cheated with a prostitute who he PAID!! If he has gone that far then think about it, dont you think he has done other things that lead up to that? Like an addictrion to porn possibly or having sex with a random girl he met walking down the street. this wasnt the first time he has pout himslef in a bad position honey and you need to realize that. think about it a person doesnt just one day decide to do heroin, they start with something smaller and work their way up, right.
This prostitute could have any number of STD's and for your child's sake i hope you have or plan on getting checked. Don't jeprodiaze yourself and your child well being by staying with this man. You wont be alone forever you will find someoen who treats you the way you deserve. Someone who is happy with all you have to offer and says "i dont need more cause with you i have everything." drop him and find what you deserve honey. If not for you for your child you dont want him/her growing up in a home with a man who isnt even her real father and who treats their mom like she is crap. You dont want that for your kid dont do it to yourself! Good luck get checked for std's and drop his *** like a hot pan!!
2007-12-15 10:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by crystal t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always feel I must forgive to be forgiven, This is a must to heal inside or it will eat you up. With that said, Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean staying with guy, What if he contracts an STD,(A.I.D.'s, HERPES, ETC.) It is not worth the risk. I for one don't believe it's his first time, Nor do I believe it will be his last. I am 53 and have no Idea where to look for such activity. You will also need counseling to heal.This is very painful, And I feel for you. God Bless!
2007-12-15 10:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by The Budster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats so sad and i would say for you to have peace is to forget and forget what happened...cause somehow if you continue to nag about what happen he will feel more guilty and bad for himself..
at the same time maybe he have not talked about marriage its because he is ashamed of what happened...
give time and space for each other but continue to love
.there is always hope for a forgiving and loving relationship
2007-12-15 10:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by girl ur looking for! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋