2 year old refusing to go to bed?

Question

i have a 2 yr old daughter who in the past has gone to sleep/bed fine, at a reasonable time, but for the last week i have put her down in her cot, bathed, warm milk story, everything in routine, but she has had full blown tantrems for upto 2 hrs, including tonight, she has only just gone down, she only has an hourly nap at 10 30 and i even wear her out in afternoon, i know she is very tired, but she refuses to go to sleep, or even lie down. i try all the technics ignoring etc, she then threatens to throw up, but thankfully doesnt, i just dont know why all of a sudden she has turned into a nightmare child that doesnt want to go to bed? any helpful info is grateful (i will not give her medication to help her sleep) thankyou

Answer 1

Have you taken her to the doctor to see if there's something bothering her? Maybe she has an ear infection. When my daughter has an ear infection, she won't lay down, which means it's harder for her to sleep. It has something to do with the fluid in their ears, it just hurts for them to lay down. Maybe try giving her tylenol before bed, and see if you can get her head propped up. And take her to the doctor as soon as you can!

--edit--

After re-reading your question, I wanted to add that the Tylenol I suggested wouldn't be to drug her to sleep, it would be to ease her pain if she has any. Anyway, at that age Tylenol won't make them sleep unless it relieves pain that's keeping them from sleeping in the first place.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Hi.
I have had this problem with my 2 year old son too, luckily he hasn't been having any tantrums lately, just staying awake for a couple of hours in his cot! Sometimes he will cry a bit but then stops fairly quickly.

I wondered if it might help to change her nap time to closer to the middle of the day? After a big night's sleep she may not be very tired at 10:30, and then after she gets up that is a long time until bedtime at night, even if she is worn out by then she could be getting over-tired and having trouble settling at all. If we ever keep our son awake all afternoon he always has a bad night. His nap time is after lunch from 12:30-2:30 and it seems to work well.

Could she be nearly ready to move into a bed? We are trying to make this transition but our son thinks his new bed is a play-gym! He sleeps okay in his cot but not as soundly as he used to and I think is ready to move (we have delayed for various reasons). I wonder if that might help you? Have you bought a bed for her yet? If so, or if you are planning to, set it up in her room (alongside the cot if you have room) with nice bedding (maybe she can come with you when you buy that) so she gets used to the idea.

Failing that, could there be anything medical? Ear infections are big sleep busters and make lying down uncomfortable.

I hope you get to the bottom of it! The little darlings need their sleep and I know how hard it is when they don't get it!

(Mum of 2 toddlers).

Answer 3

Im a nanny for a 2 1/2 year old and we had a similar problem. He was too over tired and his brain wouldn't switch off and he would lie away talking to himself for hours. We kept the same bedtime routine - bath, milk, story, cuddle. If he was still awake and talking we would go up every 15 minutes ish and lay him back down and say its bed time, dont get into conversation - just a firm "its bed time now".
After a while of doing this he learnt to settle himself and now he is fine. During the day i also talked to him (he is a bit older that your little girl) but i said that when sleeptime is over and he wakes up, he can shout out my name (Nicole) and ill come and get him. So now everytime i put him to sleep he says "I'll shout for you". It just reassures him that i will come and get him. Sorry for rambling on! Good luck.

Answer 4

ive got a 2 year old girl she is 3 in feb she is ok going to bed now .she has that problem but now i have her in a normal bed (big bed) she gets her teddys and blanket at bed time goes to her room i do her milk read a story or 2 then shut the stair gate on her bedroom door some time she gets up to play with her toys but she gets back in to bed when she knows she sleepy try may be feeling abit traped in a cot now so she worrying maybe try with a big bed tell her she a big girl now and can sleep in a big bed like mummy and daddy if still no change try a night light or putting the heating up (thats working 4 me at the mo) good luck

Answer 5

I tried to tire my daughter out as well and it doesn't work. I think that in the end she was over tired and that seems to make her worse. I would recommend that you take her out in the fresh air as much as pos but after that do some quieter activities with her like painting or drawing etc. This will still keep her occupied but not over tire her. You have a good bedtime routine so the only other thing is that it is a phase and she will grow out of it with time

Answer 6

I think consistency is the best, just keep up the same routine, maybe try making bed time a little later or shortening her day time nap, I found with my daughter that talking about it alot helped, (at her level of understanding of course), as for tantrums, I think just keep ignoring them, hopefully she'll get the message.

Answer 7

welcome to the two's. (oh just wait for the 3's!!)

In all honesty, the best tactic is no tactic. Put your daughter to sleep. If its in her crib- go through the nighttime routine, and then put her down, and leave her there. If you here her up- occasionally peak your head in, but don't go in. Eventually she'll realize staying up isn't fun- and will give in. If she's in a toddler bed, babyproof the entire bedroom, all the outlets, furniture strapped down etc, no harmful toys, go through your bedime routine, lay her down and leave her. Go in occasionally to lay her back down- but do so quietly. Don't yell, talk etc. Just lay her back down- and tell her its bedtime.

After a few nights she should start going to sleep normally again.

From my own experience its just a testing. She thinks she is missing out on something, or quite possibly just wants to see if you'll give in. Don't and it will be easier on both of you.

I have a two yr old son and a 3 yr old daughter.
Both who have pushed the same thing... on SEVERAL occasions. HA! my daughter tried tonight. =) She normally goes to sleep at 7:30. She was alseep by 10pm. But, the thing of it all, is when she finally fell alseep I wasn't so stressed. b/c we didn't have a HUGE power struggle, I just kept going up to her room and tucking her back in quietly telling her it was nite nite.

Both of my kids usually kick the habit of trying to stay up a few days after the 1st try =)

Good Luck.

Oh.. my daughter is in a toddler bed and my son is still in his crib.

Answer 8

Its hard when they get like this, my son who is 4 has had phases like this and its real frustrating, I know. You just have to persevere I think thats the only way. Stick to the routine to show her that her behaviour will not change how things go - she will still be put to bed and ignore her over and over again so long as you are sure her needs are met, she will EVENTUALLY get bored of this and go to sleep.
Leave her room dark and so long as she is safe and comfortable, no harm can come to her. If she throws up she throws up. Clean her up and then leave her again.

Its hard I know, but when we went through this with my son it is just a matter of putting him down again and again and not having a discussion about it or providing any extra attention. He tries every trick in the book at times like this but we just settle him down again and again with his special blanket and toys around him and say its time for sleep now, and leave. As many times as it takes.

Answer 9

wel fisrt give her a bath (dont wet hair) and make sure it is a good smelling soap and when sh is there in bed rub her back for like 3-5 minutes that should make her drwozy do that for 2 days she should be good or it is the blanket wash it or the matrees cover or get a new mattress (dont have too) maybe she is tried of the mattress cover wash it and get a nice pajamms for her and if u have a other child make sure your spoling her or the other child and wash her real well like gently wash her under the eyes and make sure her hair isnt too wet alot

Answer 10

who's in can charge.....you, or her? Feeling undesirable would not help her get the right quantity of sleep she needs. tell her to pass to mattress or there will be a punishment (merchandise taken away) yet another trick is to truly stare at her till she is asleep. do no longer talk except she sits up and say "lay your head on your pillow now" If she talks, forget approximately it. If she cries, forget approximately it. If she gets up extra then two times, then punish her by making use of taking a filled animal away (or something she likes)