I am moving house next week and told my sons that I would appreciate their help but tried not to put guilt on them. My 22 yr old son has 2 days off work and would have to travel 4 hrs to get here, at first he said he'd help but now does not want to. His 19 yr old brother is coming over for midday on the move day, my sister will be here the day before, my husband is totally disabled and cannot do anything. Should adult children be expected to help out?
2007-12-15 07:59:38 · 11 answers · asked by youdancin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can never demand that your children do something, especially as adults.
He might ought to feel obliged, but he doesn't; maybe he figures you already have enough help, and don't really need him.
2007-12-15 08:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well brought up children who have been taught to care for and respect their elders would volunteer to help their mothers move. Well, that is the way things ought to be, but in today's world the reality is often different. Young people are self-absorbed or often just to busy to extend kindness to others. Some children feel no particular obligation to help parents for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is the lack of attention and help they feel they have received in the past.
There are two ways of dealing with the matter. (1) Pay someone to help you and take the fee out of what the children hope to inherit. (2) Bribe the young people with the promise of a case of beer and a couple of pizzas. Both methods work.
What I would hope you would consider is the effect of feeling bad because of the choices your children make. You have given them the opportunity to be of service. If they decline, it is their loss more than yours. Forgive, forget and move on.
2007-12-15 08:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think unselfish kids would volunteer to help. Remember the ones who help and the ones who don't. Being that your husband is totally disabled, they should willingly come help their Mom. If you have extra money, be sure to divide it at Christmas among the ones that helped. Just send the 22 year old a Christmas card. An empty Christmas card. What a selfish son.
2007-12-15 08:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you afford to hire help? If so I think that it would be well worth it to save people in your family's backs. The movers have the proper equipment. Moving is dangerous to those who do not know body mechanics. If your 22 yr old son were mine, I wouldn t want him to travel total of 8 hours just to help me.
2007-12-15 08:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunetly as our kids get older they can not be with us as much... They do have their own lives and responsibilities when the become adults. It would be nice if your children could show you respect and help you!! It is not their obligation but it should be their priority to help their own mom out.....But, like I said they develop their own lives and responsibilities, but hopefully they will think from their heart and remember there mom and dad and everything you gave for years for them!! Good Luck with the move....
2007-12-15 08:09:54 · answer #5 · answered by shootingstars957 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure about be "expected" or not, but being asked is ok. I don't ask my 4 adult kids for ****! And there are times there are many things they could do to help, and they know it, but don't even offer!
Just because their our kids, we already did gods job by raiseing his lambs and letting them out into the world. They really don't owe us anything. We choose to have them. They didn't choose to have us.
2007-12-15 08:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be able to require them to do it, but they should be willing to.
My mother had to put her ranch up for sale after my dad died this year... it was just too much for her to deal with... we all spent every other weekend up there either packing stuff to move or maintaining the place until she finally sold it. Mom is now happily into her new house near me and one of my sisters.
2007-12-15 09:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, definatly should help you, you raised them, and ypou helped them all those years in stuff that you dint rather either do momma, Soo throw that up to them, Tell them, ?you helped them, in the past, and you need there help Right Now, And that you will even pay them to help, and or have a pizxza party after everything in all moved, Hell bri9ng alot of help, but, i serouly think they should help you
2007-12-15 08:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by trudycaulfield 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, children should help their parents.
2007-12-15 08:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is know question, yes they should family helps family. they are your kids you helped them through til they where adults,know it's time for them to help you.
2007-12-15 08:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by ANGIE P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋