I was overweight when he met me and fell in love with me. He told me once that he didn't care about my weight he loved me for me. Then he told me that his friends were saying she's so pretty if she'd just lose weight. Now he bugs me about my weight constantly and complained that he hates to see me stuff my face. The worst part of it is I hardly ever eat in front of him. He's turned me into a closet eater. If he fell for me overweight why would he change & start bugging me. I weigh 200 pounds and before I met him I had lost 85 pounds. He asked me to lose weight for him and I said I would never lose weight for a man I lose it for me and he was offended. What are your views on this?
2007-12-15 07:42:26 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
SO MANY GREAT ANSWERS, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE GREAT ADVICE!!!
2007-12-16 05:19:40 · update #1
you need to break up with your boyfriend.
if he loved you for you (including your body), he would not be trying to change you.
I know it might be hard to break up with him, but what's next after your body?
eventually,he will start to control you.
you'll be happier without him.
explain to him, "You can't except me for me. You're making me feel bad about the way I am and I don't appreciate you disrespecting me like that. I don't need you. I don't need you to love me because I love me. We're over."
stay strong with what you say.
no turning back.
don't take him back.
he's a liar and who knows what else he'll lie about.
how do you feel about your body?
it's not what he thinks that matters.
it's not what his friends thinks that matters.
it's how you feel about your body that really counts.
a girl who is different and loves herself for it is one of the sexiest things for guys.
they love confident girls (not everyone says it for no reason).
you have two main options- you can either change or you can adapt.
but whatever you choose, do it for you.
2007-12-15 07:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My view is he is to damn worried about what his friends say! Seems u were just fine...until he listened to his friends. I beg u do not let him do this to u! He is immature, if he were not he would tell his friends he has one hot woman and is very happy! I have never been real thin..and never will be..I like me! U need to like u and be u and believe me...u can have any man u really want...he will be begging for u...bet a few of his friends would be at your door!!!!
And u are so right u must only lose weight if it is 4 u and that is what u want!
I am alittle worried for 2 reasons..1. he has made u afraid to even eat in front of him...2. This is mental abuse! U may want to really seriously dump this guy...his love seems toxic!
2007-12-15 17:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by bodacious baby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
You shouldn't have to lose weight for ANY man.
It would be different if he said that he was concerned about your health, but he obviously doesn't mean it in that context.
He's your boyfriend, he's suppose to love you for who you are. If he says that he hates to see you "stuff your face", he clearly is only concerned about what other people think and how you might look together....it's sad to say this, but he's either saying this 'cause he suffers from low self-eestem (so he feels the need to make you feel like crap), or he is embarrassed of your weight (which he shouldn't be, I'm sure that you're beautiful.)
Perhaps his friends have influenced him; as if he fell in love with you with that weight, so he should still love you regardless.
As long as YOU are happy with your weight, YOU feel confident, and you have no major health problems, then I see no problem here, except for the terrible boyfriend.
Ditch him; you deserve MUCH better.
Good luck! :D
2007-12-15 07:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by Alex L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl- sounds to me like you know the answer to this. I'm overweight too and my husband has never once mentioned my weight. Just do it for you and lose the guy- he will give you trouble the rest of your life about this.
For example, you do lose the weight... later, get pregnant, than what? He'll be all over you about it again.
2007-12-15 07:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by Just Tryin' to Help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey BELIEVE ME I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...I have had a problem with weight on and off for many years. There are too many successful things you can do to get the weight off now that you are going to have to decide to get healthy. I am not saying put up with your boyfriends behavior and I think you should personally lose weight and leave him for someone else, but you probably wont...what I am saying is that you need to live a long and healthy life. Dont starve. Eat with programs like Nurtisystem or the pre made foods by ediets.com You can get results that are fantastic and get alot of support in those programs, with hundreds of success stories to read and many many options to find the one that works for you. Tell your BF to shut up or he may find your skinny girl inside decides she dosent need his big fat mouth anymore. I believe that guys should be honest but not repetitive. This is not like prayer where you chant, and its certainly not a broken record. You tell him you *heard him allready and that he is pushing his luck. Be as firm as he is being with you and be prepared to stick to your guns. NOBODY deserves to be kicked around period. You state what you like and dont like then shut up and either leave or work out a compromise. Going in circles is for field mice not people. Take Care and go out and get healthy. Walk every day, take the stairs. Lose the weight again. YOU need to do this for YOU and be the best you can be. Screw that ahole.-Rachel.
2007-12-15 07:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's just worried about your health problems. Honestly, overweight people are not attractive because it just shows they don't care about their health and aren't in control of their lifestyle. I don't think he has a problem with you being fat, because I'm sure he didn't love you for you weight. I think he just cares about you so he's only telling you what's best for you.
I have an overweight bf, but I never tell him to lose weight or force him to get exercise, although I should. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by ruining his self esteem. But, he has agreed to go work out and lose weight because he is aware of his weight problem. All I told him was that it's important that he should have a healthy weight. I don't really care about how he looks, which is why I don't really complain about his weight, because I only love him for who he is.
2007-12-15 07:54:37 · answer #6 · answered by =P 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You go girl! Your doing the right thing by loosing the weight only for yourself.
Does he love you for you or your body? If he can't love you for you the person you are then it's not worth it.
Looks fade anyway and all that's left is the personality. So, he either loves you for you or find someone else who does.
It sounds to me that he doesn;t know what he has and that's his loss not yours.
2007-12-15 07:52:00 · answer #7 · answered by Purple Vengeance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him.
He cares more about what his friends think, than about your feelings.
He's not worth it.
He insults you. That's a very bad sign.
He's controlling you. An even worse sign.
After making you believe you're worthless, the worse abuse will start.
Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.
2007-12-15 12:12:14 · answer #8 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is bad news for your self esteem. Not to mention your health if he pushes you towards and eating disorder. I strongly recommend that you end it with this guy, he can only do you harm. You don't deserve this.
2007-12-15 07:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by Morley 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DUMP The LOSER!
LOSE the weight for YOU, THEN go out with someone else.
2007-12-15 07:46:58 · answer #10 · answered by tennis_1_girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋