Here is my story...pls read...?

Question

Lost my mom when i was 10.
Was emotionally distanced and ignored by my father.
Developed Borderline Personality Disorder.
Have social anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder.
Not able to have a normal life.
Always searched for lone since my mother died but end up loosing it everytime beacuse of BPD. Can never have a relationship.
Dont know who i am, what i am or what for.
Miss the need and care, but can never get it.
Dont have a single friend, leave alone few good friends.
Cant even take care of myself

I dont have a life. Why should i even live ?

I am just 21 and i cant believe what my life haas done to me.

Answer 1

I totally agree what Lacey said, and I just want to tell you that so far you were a fighter, (its true), other wise you would not be here at this stage of your life. Life is gift from God, and because you are a fighter, you will succeed. No buts, no ifs, YOU are a strong person, because you had a tough life, and start believing in your self. Start a new "beginning". You are the one to change everything. And God will help you. If you have a church close by, its nice to attend, and make new friends from church.They have all kind of programs, for youth, singles, you will like it. I hope you will find happiness, and I pray that God will fill your heart with peace, and happiness.
Happy Holidays!!!

Answer 2

Read the article on the site below which is all about you. You have a purpose. It is not to have a family or friends. It is to discover what you truly are and how fantstic you are. It has info from top psychologists. The stupid ones have no idea what they are here for, so they give you all these negative labels which makes them better than you.

But they are not better than you and have no clue on how to be happy. You can learn and find out about your true self and feel perfect peace and limitless happiness while others suffer and imagine heaven. This is the very reason that you exist. But you choose if you want it or not.

YOUR LIFE IS AS GOOD AS ANYONE ELSES LIFE. Everything that has happened in your lifle was to teach you that you need to find the ultimate happiness that exists inside of you. Socrates said "Know thyself."

Answer 3

Maybe it's time you take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming your childhood for who you are now.
You can let the adversities of your life until now cripple you; or you can use them to become a stronger person. It's up to you. Do you want to stay as is? If so just keep on doing what you have been doing.
IF you want your life to change, you have to change how you've been living it. Start finding a job. Get involved in helping someone else so you aren't focused on yourself and feeling poor me all the time.
So you didn't get the love and care you needed as a child. You can parent yourself now by taking care of yourself. That means working, being responsible re bills, housework, keeping yourself clean and presentable. Doing the best you can to look your best each day. Be kind to others. Look for some ways you can make someones life better. These are the lessons your parents would have taught you. You can search for love but it's right here in you. Until you love and respect yourself, it's unlikely anyone else will. Behave like someone you would love and respect. When you do this, you will respect and love yourself. Others will catch the feeling and begin to love and respect you. You are grown up now. No one else is going to do it. It's up to you.

Answer 4

Not to sound rude.. but I wonder if Lacy has lost her mother... I lost my mother when i was 16... I'm 23 now and losing the one person in your life who meant absolutely everything to you, really screws u up. It's not something that you can get over or something that gets better. Everyday i think about mommy and i feel that "putting your childhood problems to the side and getting on with your life" is much easier said than done. I'm not going to act like i know exactly how you feel because i don't but I do know that when people tell me to simply "get over it" "deal with it" or "move on"... i just look at them and kinda wanna slap em because they have no idea what its like to lose everything that you have ever known and not be able to ever be "normal" or happy again.
On the other hand, I do feel that u should be alive. There is a reason for it.. although i don't know what it is and u may feel that you don't know what it is. If you weren't supposed to be alive for some reason... then you would have already been taken. Just think about this..... you have already been through the worst thing... your mom already died.. whenever anything happens to me that makes me fell like totally useless... i just think what else could happen, my mom already died and that's the worst thing for me... If i didn't kill myself or die over that... I'm sure not going to do it over anything else. I know that i don't have a normal life, i'm not a normal person, i have very few friends and they are just there because i knew them before mommy died... i have never had a romantic relationship and i'm 24. I def. have issues but, i'll tell ya one thing, my mom can't die again.. the worst has already happened.

Answer 5

I am so sorry. You have to hang on though because your mother loved you no matter what and im sure she hates to see you down like this!!!!!! Please for me to find your way in life dont let others stop you because i know god wants you on this earth because you still here.! im only 14 but i hope my words do help u!

Answer 6

Call your county's department of mental health and get help. You can learn to compensate for BPD and live a happier life.