Do you think it's right to give your 18-year old daughter everything she wants...?

Question

if she's not spoiled and she's down to earth? The person I'm thinking about has her own apartment in moscow (one of the most expensive cities in the world),a huge car with a chauffer, and literally roomfuls of designer clothing, etc. everything paid for by her parents. How is it all right for children of really wealthy parents to get pretty much watev. they want and kids of middle class folks will be considered spoiled if they get just one or two expensive things just by asking for them?

Answer 1

First of all, money and material things does equate to happiness. If you disagree with that statement, then explain why everyone in this world strives for the same thing? Why is everyone going to college so they can land good careers? When you meet a person for the first time, after you introduce yourselves why is the first question you always ask "What do you do?". Most people like to sugarcoat their outlook on life and say that tired-out bullshi_ that money will not bring you happiness, but the same people who say that are the ones who usually have very little of it in the first place, and you can bet that if they were very wealthy they would be spending like the successful people already do or even more. Anyone who says money does not bring you happiness, if that person can be so content without money then they should take just enough money that they need to buy food, clothing, and pay their rent, and they should give the rest of their money to charity just to prove everyone wrong and how THEY don't need money for them to be happy.

It's like that movie "John Q" with Denzel. Denzel's character tells his terminally ill son :

"Hey you make as much money as you can, even if you have to sellout once in a while. Things are so much easier with money, so much easier."

We need money to survive on our planet and in our society. Money = convenience = happiness. If you need more convincing then go watch Will Smith in "The Pursuit of Happyness".

To answer you question about the girl who is rolling around in style in Moscow. Parents that care about their children always want the best life and the best things for them. When I say parents who care I mean just that, I'm not talking about the men who run off when they find out their girlfriend is pregnant, or the single moms who leave their kids with their parents so they can go out drinking and shopping for themselves while blowing away all the money that should be used for better food for their kids.

All parents who care about their children will give them everything they can afford to financially so their kids can be happy and prosperous. If 2 parents that can afford it send their kid to Harvard to study and get a bachelor's and a master's degree, room and board all of which will cost $250,000+, would other parents see that as spoiled or extremely fortunate? Over the years, all the kids from successful and wealthy families that I have met, they have always had everything they needed : car, clothes, enough food on the table. That is no coincidence. It really wouldn't make sense for a kid to be riding the bus and wearing shoes will holes in them when that kid's parents can afford to get him a car and new shoes when he needs them.

Parents that care always try to give their kids the best of everything that they can afford, and it should continue that way. The problem is when they do not discipline and teach their kids all the fundamentals of human decency, and THAT is what makes kids spoiled, whether they drive a 10+ year old car or they have their own Rolls Royce and chauffeur.

I'm going to tell you the truth right now. The kids of middle class families who are considered spoiled by others when they get just 1 or 2 expensive gifts, the kids of parents who can't afford to buy their own children the same gifts or equivalent, they are the ones who tell their children that those other kids are spoiled for getting those expensive gifts because they don't want their own children to think that their parents don't love them, can't afford it, or are cheap. The fact remains that if the parents who are calling the other kids spoiled could afford it, they would buy their own children those same gifts or better.

Answer 2

Even though I don't agree with the idea of spoiling your child, you're right. It is a double standard. My mother always taught me to do for myself and no I'm not going to get any and everything I want. But some parents who didn't get everything they wanted when they were kids, try to bestow that on their children. The whole "my kids are going to be better off than me" deal. I agree with one of the posters. Look at these celeb kids. They are going to be spoiled rotten and talked and laughed at because they don't know how to act in public. Answering your question, no. An 18 year old needs to get her butt out there and live life. Make her own way and stop depending on momma and daddy.

Answer 3

Who says it is considered "right" for rich people?

The fact is if someone is rich there is no hardship in spending money and people like that don't really see it as "exceptional" as someone with less money would.

It also isn't considered "spoiling" to give someone something extra on occasion so long as it is NOT "everything they want".

To me it is bad to not challenge your child to do things because they never learn how to do them. On the flip side it seems pointless for a wealthy person to tell their child to live in the slums just to see how the poor people have to cope. A parent's job is both to prepare the child for adulthood AND to protect them. Putting them in the slums might help "prepare" them if they survived but likely would put them in great danger because they'd be so obviously out of place.

Answer 4

Some people get to live a life of wealth and privilege thanks to their parents. I don't see the problem here. If you take the value judgment out of it, how is this different from growing up dirt poor and knowing only poverty? Shouldn't the parents have worked harder to give their kids a secure upbringing? I don't know anyone that would say a middle class kid is spoiled if they have one or two expensive gifts.

Answer 5

Being spoiled is not defined as "someone who gets everything they want." Being spoiled is EXPECTING to get everything you want, and not APPRECIATING the things you have. It doesn't matter if you are extra-rich or dirt poor, you should understand the value of things and take care of them, and show appreciation when someone gives things to you. As a parent, that is what you should be teaching your children.

Answer 6

WOW! I propose which you take a seat together with her and have a seriouse chat. Admit which you weren't spying given which will in simple terms anger her. It became into purely a sort of issues which you surpassed off to over hear. refer to her tell her the way you experience. If she needs to circulate by with it. it may be time to circulate out and that's that. My dad wouldv'e already thrown me out and disowned me!

Answer 7

Money and material objects do not equate to happiness. Consider the young celebrities who have chosen to live in the hell world of addiction.

Answer 8

Stop doing all that. She is eighteen years old let her go to work so she can buy all the stuff she wants. Then you will have extra money in your purse.

Answer 9

SPOILED! That child has no idea what it is like in the real world.....I feel sorry for her.

Answer 10

WHAT VALUES ARE YOU TEACHING HER? IF YOU GIVE HER EVERYTHING SHE WILL NOT KNOW THE VALUE OF EARNING MONEY TO PURCHASE THE THINGS SHE NEEDS. GIVING A CHILD EVERYTHING ONLY MAKES THEM DEPEND ON YOU AND ONCE YOU START TO SAY "NO" THEY GET UPSET AND MAY START STEALING.