Serious question though: Aren't relationships a lot of trouble?

Question

Granted there are pros, like companionship, those beautiful moments of perfect bliss, a chance to pour our love and to get love back. But as we all know, a relationship is also wrought with a lot of difficulties.(more so if one is a sensitive person). Eventually, problems like jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, control creep in sometime or the other. There are conflicts, ego, power struggles...there is the heartache of unmet expectations, there are grudges and resentments, worry, there is personality clashes, there's the friendship of the partner with the opposite sex or an ex, there is always that insecurity if one day he or she will fall out of love, coz change is the only constant in life. There is the problem of trusting, when u very well know, that trust can *always* be betrayed, and it happens all the time. There are various day to day dilemmas of the best way to react, the best way to think...so as to not disturb the balance with the other person. Then one has to worry about

keeping the passion and interest alive. One has to worry if the partner is not getting bored or attracted to some other person. U have to worry about their other friendships u know nothing about. Isn't all this so much trouble???

Isn't it SO much better to be single, secure, and have an amazing peace of mind? To do ur own thing and never have to worry about what the other person is upto or get sensitive about the way they treat you. No one's perfect, and eventually a partner is will do or say things that will cause hurt. It always happens. I have had my share of relationships, so I have been there.

Dont u think it is a lot better to be single? :)

Added: one has to worry about whether they are being honest or not. If they DID lie at some point, wont u lose that trust for ur partner and doubt that they will lie again? That trust is eroded right? How can one have peace of mind with all these fears and doubts? I see a million questions about people worrying about what he or she is thinking, what he or she is doing, why he or she reacted this way, whether they are justified in getting hurt or not....etc etc etc. If the SAME energy was put in even better pursuits like uplifting the world, going outside and volunteering, taking good care of oneself, wont we all live with more peace of mind and save our energies for something we CAN control rather than something we Cannot?

Granted, I miss the close companionship..the kisses and hugs, and the feeling of love and being loved, BUT....I will take being single anyday. I have way more peace of mind then. And in life, peace of mind for me is number 1.

Answer 1

Very well put young lady! Very well put. I've been married once in my life, and for a short period. Approx 6 months. That was at age 30. It was also the only time I allowed myself to "fall in love". I since have had several relationships, I go in with the walls down, but as the relationships go on, the walls start to go up. It's always for different reasons. All of which you have listed in your comment.
Even though I enjoy the company of a good woman, I am also very selfish about wanting my alone time. The longer I'm in a relationship, it seems the more alone time I require. It then becomes a nagging match, and soon after the nagging starts, the relationship stops. Sad to say but it's usually my decision.
I go in a relationship now by telling the woman "when it stops being fun, it's going to be over". Some of the woman agree, and some of them don't. That takes all the hustles of "working at it" out of the picture.
Unless I change my thought process, I'll probably die alone. But that's o.k. I'll have fun until I do!
You sound very level headed, I enjoyed reading "Aren't relationships a lot of trouble?" I'd hate to get in a lovers quarrel with you, I don't think I'd stand a verbal chance!! (he said jokingly)

Answer 2

The relationships you describe have a lot of jealousy, possessiveness, control and insecurity. There is something about the pattern you've experienced that makes you believe it's the norm. But...

Most people don't suddenly fall out of love and dump their partner for someone else. If you're a teenager or in college, this is more the case, because of youth and immaturity. But "adults" (mature people) don't do that. It's more about fulfilling shared goals and building a nice life, than about "who's more attractive than the person I'm with now?"

With that said, being single is extremely pleasant. It's great to do whatever you want, whenever you want.

Answer 3

But that is the whole objective of a relationship, to see how much someone really loves you and what the two of you would do for each other in life. I think when you are in a relationship it is almost the same as being married, as if you are a whole. You two should work together to be happy, work together to provide, work together to support. You should look for the strengths and weaknesses in the reltionship. If you are weak in one area, the two of you together should nourish one another with love and affection and support in that area. If one cheats obviously they are not happy being with the other person. But, to answer your question, no, they are not alot of trouble.


You seem to be a very charismatic person. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Put it in your pocket until it is meant to be worn.

Answer 4

Sure, being single is non-stressful oneness with self. It's great for a monk. But relationships also help an individual grow with experiences of what you have eloquently described. It sounds as if you are unsure of yourself to dive into another relationship for the uncertainty of the expected. Your expected dilemmas. Relationships are challenges to maintain survival, physical and emotional. Don't stop, or just admit to the world you're not worth it.

Answer 5

Dear Tacco,

This is me. You have choosen many times my answers as the best answers. I think my thoughts are matching yours !

I know relationship is unevitable but being a single & determined like me ( I am 28 single ) you can achieve many personal goals as I got more time and concentration to fulfil my goals.

But God Created a hearth in every human ! Hence that sense of seeking for a PERFECT partner will always PREVAIL among us. Hence I think it will be better to have relationship with RIGHT person and at RIGHT time. It should be long-lasting relationship. It must have the element of TRUE LOVE and TRUE FRIENDSHIP ( made for each other ! ). Does it sounds interesting ?! but I think relationships are made in heavens. You must be fortunate one to get that kind of PARTNER.

I think this will solve your question...Bye.