Sorry if this is a stupid question but it's been bugging me all day!!!
I don't have children so I don't know how hard it is either.
I'm friends/acquaintances with the people downstairs. They're cool & friendly, but I don't see them enough to really say we're friends yet. But I've chilled in their home, they're so nice and each time I'm invited in their home their son (age 5/6?) gets so ticked off. He gives his mom a look like "get her out of here" and I'll be talking to them and he screams "Bye Jodie!" like - ok, leave now.
Today I was invited in at first he was fine. Then he pulled the "Bye Jodie!" thing again and 5 minutes later was "Do you live here now? Why don't you just go home?!" - The parents laughed but I felt uncomfortable. Rather then them saying he was being rude the father followed him as he flew into a hissy in the other room without any sign of what he did was wrong.
Should I say something to them? Their child is really rude to me stupidly it hurts my feelings!
2007-12-15 04:36:32 · 9 answers · asked by Raj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The child also tells him mom to shut up. - and she doesn't scold him! She just acts like it's ok.
I do agree though they aren't showing me respect for allowing him to be that way.
The mother does want to hang out with me but I'm going to steer clear until I can tell her she needs to do something.
I just don't want to tell someone else how to raise their kid and fear I may come across that way.
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My parents would throw me down the bottom of a well if I was like this kid.
2007-12-15 04:51:52 · update #1
When he says, "Why don't you just go home?" . . . I would reply, "Okay, I will." Then get up and leave. Don't hang around for further rudeness or temper tantrums.
Maybe if you get up and leave a few times, the parents will get the message that they need to start correcting their child.
I think until they start disciplining the child, I would tend to avoid them . . . not seeking their friendship.
2007-12-15 04:46:23 · answer #1 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for admitting you aren't a parent and don't know hard it is. However your insticts are correct, this child is out of line and the parents are ignoring his behavior.
Consistancy in diciplining a child is tough, and nothing prepares you for the reality of parenthood once you get past the first 30 seconds that a child is a baby. People tend to want "babies" and don't put alot of concern to their parenting gameplan when it smacks them hard in the face that little Cheyanne or little Brie are little monsters in the making.
Nothing you can tell these parents will help because they are apparently choosing to ignore his behavior. I was not the "swat on the behind(although tempting in this case)" kind of parent. I told my kids what I expected from their behavior in public and removed them promptly when they acted up. We had "home" behavior and "public" behavior which came into play when people were in our home as well. While kids will be kids, your goal as a parent is to help them grow up to be socially acceptable. A parent isn't doing the kid a favor by pretending that rude and innapropriate behavior is acceptable, his future teachers and boss's sure won't like it. This kid is old enough to know not only right from wrong but when to shut up.
I'm afraid you are going to have to distance yourself. Perhaps invite the parents to your home for dinner, without the child. Or just realize this isn't going to work out. If they ask, I would simply say that their son seems to prefer if you don't visit, and you think that's best. It'll get the message across, that kid is running the show. Really, you don't want to be a part of it.
2007-12-15 12:55:41 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be offended at all. Your friends appreciate your presence and company otherwise they wouldn't have invited you to their home. No parents in this world would want to teach their kids to be rude.Their kid might be suffering from some disorders which they are uncomfortable to divulge to outsiders.
Trust me, I've been there.
On your next visit to their home, do look at them in another way- a positive one. They need a normal life and WANT to lead one but they'r also consiously seeking understanding from outsiders for their on-going struggling that they are going through in their daily lives.
2007-12-15 12:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by lylie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just by chance, are these people asking for or wanting more from you than just a quick visit?
If you ask me, he has been trained to do this. STOP accepting their invites.
IF you continue with the visits, then being a big girl, you must have a big voice and tell them how it makes you feel. Their son, no matter what age is rude.
But I feel they have other intentions for some reason for asking you down!
2007-12-15 12:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that's really horrible. It could be that they are disciplining him when you are not there. We normally don't discipline our children in front of others, however, we would tell them to be polite, apologize and then send them straight to their rooms! I'm not sure what's up with this gal.
If it were me, and I'm known for being a straight shooter and I have 10 children, I'd look this kid straight in the face and play his bluff. I'd tell him that it hurts my feelings when he talks to you like that and as an adult he shouldn't talk to you that way and that you'd appreciate it if he stopped. And every time he did something I'd say to him that is not okay to talk to you that way.
Good luck.
2007-12-15 13:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not go into there home. Next time they invite you be honest with them. Tell them this behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. I was once in that situation I told my friend I do not feel comfortable with her child acting that way. . Her philosophy was I do not want to upset my kid. That told me to stay away.
2007-12-15 13:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by mapelmae d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would refuse any more invitations for a visit. If they ask why, I'd tell them straight out that it's due to their obnoxious son and the fact that they don't control him!
2007-12-15 12:42:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just goes to show that some people shouldn't have kids.
If she wants to hang out with you, tell her fine but without bratzilla. Then I would tell her that his comments and outbursts are rude, and that they aren't doing the kid any favors by just blowing it off.
2007-12-15 13:05:12 · answer #8 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop going over there.
That monster's parents don't respect you enough to put a stop to their child's behavior.
If they ask you why you don't come around there anymore, tell them why.
2007-12-15 12:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋