How can you forgive yourself for something in the past when the memory it brings causes you so much pain?

Question

I know Christ has forgiven me, but the memories are not gone.

Answer 1

Outside of what you have done, are you happy with your life today? If so, then embrace what happened, ask for forgiveness, and move on. Look at your life today and understand that if you did just one thing different in your past, including that bad thing, your life would be totally different now. You may not have the home you have or even the children(if you have any) because one simple change would have led you in a completely different direction and your life would not be as it is now. I hope that I didn't confuse you! I just believe that everything happens for a reason and if I didn't experience EVERYTHING the way it happened, I would not have my son (this particular one), I wouldn't have my husband (this particular one), and I wouldn't be communicating with you now. Bless you, embrace it, appreciate it for what it has taught you and move on from it because you cant change the past!!!! You can forgive yourself right now becuse YOU ARE NOT PERFECT..WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES both big and small. Be blessed!

Answer 2

Remember something - there isn't a human being (the operative word being "human") walking on this earth that hasn't made a mistake or need forgiveness for something they have done. Life is a series of lessons and learning along with joy and suffering, which provide us with both painful and beautiful memories. If you've done something that is causing you pain view it truthfully, learn what you need to learn, then release it and go on with your life. If you could go back in time knowing what you do now would you make the same mistake? Of course not, which means you have grown, learned a lesson and are not the same person when you made your mistake. Being where you are now, you know you will try not to do the same thing again. You know better. If you are sincerely sorry for your actions do not punish yourself forever, it serves no purpose. Don't hang onto painful memories, they are like carrying bricks around that weigh you down. You won't be able to move forward and become a better human being. We are all fallible, we will all fall as we move through this lifetime. The problem is not with falling, it is with not getting up and moving on. Let go of the pain, the memory may still be there but you do not have to give it permission to rule your present day life. The cells in your body renew themselves every day, so can your spirit. Forgive and love yourself the way you would forgive and love others.

Answer 3

I enjoy hearing "Christ has forgiven me" but you still suffer. You know why? Because you haven't forgiven yourself.

Jesus is just something to lean on. As you can see, it didn't help you, did it? You don't know how the mind works. Jesus can't just "forgive you" then everything is better. This is why these religions aren't for me.

Buddha said that life is "suffering" and here we are, you are suffering.

You need to find the source of what is causing you pain and learn from it. See it. Feel it. Understand that its done and there is nothing you can do. Stop running from it and accept it for what it is - it will take time and if need be, open a book on psychology.

Christianity or whatever you believe in doesn't explain HOW to deal with this stuff, it tells you - Buddhism explains in full detail how to end the suffering you have on your mind and live a happy life

Answer 4

Christ has forgiven you and it is the devil who constantly reminds you, because you haven't forgiven yourself. You must forgive yourself. When Satan brings up this past memory, tell Satan to take it to Christ because Christ nailed it to the Cross. You are justified - just as if you'd never sinned.

You've got to let go and forgive yourself. Self-hatred cannot be in a child of God. Self-hatred is fear and perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. Everytime your memory brings up this past pain turn your mind and heart toward Jesus. Just say, "Lord take this from my mind." And think on good things.

I don't know what has caused this pain. It could be an abortion so fight against abortion and put your money into helping stop abortion. Sin causes so much bondage and makes slaves of us, but Christ washes us white as snow.

Ask the Holy Spirit to purify and refine your mind and remove all thoughts of self-hatred from it. We must have peace with God, peace with others and peace with ourselves.

Have a blessed day!

Answer 5

Everyone makes mistakes. We learn best that way. Take the lessons you have learned and turn them into positive help for yourself and others.
Take this scenario....drug addict loses self, family and worth due to addiction, does nasty and selfish things to obtain their next fix....fast forward a few years, same person has faced their demons, overcome their addiction and cleaned up. the life they led does not fade out, but can be used when they hear that others are in that situation. Either by sharing the experiences to help point them in the right direction, or by empathizing when that person is on rock bottom and has no-one else to turn to.
If you feel that you have been forgiven, then it seems a little doubting of that forgiveness to keep torturing yourself doesn't it?
Even prisoners get parole...give yourself a chance, let yourself out of that prison, and rehabilitate your spirit. Either that, or waste the rest of your life in regret rather than positive works and attitude.
Good luck. :-)

Answer 6

Focus on the gifts you have that can be shared with others in the present time. Guilt will hinder your opportunity to enjoy a bright future; best to let it go. Replace negative thoughts by distracting your mind with physical activity. Be kind. Do not be afraid that you haven't "made up for your wrongs". Even though you let the memories drift away, the lesson you are to learn from the past will subconsciously guide you on your way for the rest of your life. Be ready to help another person through a similar sorrow. Don't turn away from the miracle of healing that God offers. Pray for guidance.

Answer 7

The retention of those memories are to protect you. Those memories are a defense for you to remind you never to do those things again. Sometimes it is tough to forgive ourselves, but from your comments, you know Christ has forgiven you. That is what matters. He has all power to grant mercy because he paid the justice for all sin.

Think of it this way, if you forgot the thing you did wrong, what would keep you from repeating it?

Answer 8

the concern as I see it has not something to do with even in the journey that your husband is or isn't sober. I provide up eating some years in the past and went to AA for years (1000's of conferences) and observed extra superb, hideously loopy habit from "sober" human beings than you may probable think of. it extremely is a breeding floor for liars so a techniques as i'm worried. No, the concern is that your husband seems to be a habitual liar. His mendacity did not stop whilst he provide up eating, did it? No. he remains messing around with the funds, he's gazing porn and then mendacity approximately it--he's a liar, organic and easy. Is he able to fixing? nicely, you do not comprehend. It would not seem good, given his history, yet once you opt to offer it yet another attempt i could propose this. go away him returned, yet this time, stay long gone. tell him he has to bypass to a qualified therapist and get himself some help and which you are going to return returned whilst he has achieved weekly classes for a minimum of 6 months and has stopped mendacity to you. He has to open up the funds to you thoroughly--this would be a would desire to!!!! do not permit him devote to going to AA or different help team conferences extremely of medical care. it is not what you're searching for. you elect a dedication to medical care and to behavioral replace, not something will do. and don't permit your 6 12 months outdated replace your suggestions. you are the grownup, not her. good success with this. stay reliable!

Answer 9

I did something horrible, and it's followed me ever since.
I understand how it follows you around all the time. But there is nothing you can do about it but forget it and move on. Just think, you did it, it's done, it's all over with. No one cares about it anymore if no one brings it up to you. If it is bothering you that badly, seek help with someone other than yourself. Maybe proffesional help or someone who understands what you did. A lot of help can come from other people!

Talking works.

Answer 10

Tell me where Christ is hiding, he owes me some explanation. As for you forgiving yourself, take comfort in that it's in the past and you can't do anything about it but learn from your perceived mistake.