Think before you speak!? (long, but definitely worth it!)?

Question

Here are five reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....



FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow***?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word .. he knew better.



SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"



THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.



FOURTH TESTIMONY

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident"? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!



LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! Now, didn't that feel good?

Answer 1

The last one is an instant classic.

Answer 2

Ah Yes - our 7 year old son asked us 'where did I come from?' and of course, since Dad was not home Mom went into a nice version of the birds and the bees as this was a very intelligent 7 year old.

No MOM! - Some kids say that they are from Tampa and some say Lakeland - - - - - - - - where did I come from??

always clarify the question (LOL in tears)

Answer 3

oh i got one too! its a true story that happened just yesterday in gym class.

I am in gr 9, at my PE class in the gym. We played floor hockey often, and the coach had brought 2 rubber balls to use. While he was taking attendance, someone picked up the balls and started juggling them. Then the coach instantly said, "Hey dont touch my balls." The entire gym laughed, and he didnt walk away. lol

Answer 4

Yeah ! I walked into a friends house n saw one of my friends n ask where her boy friend was she was with the weekend before . Wow I had no clue she was having an affair on the guy she was really with.

Answer 5

Why is it only the women? What about the men too? Do they have some funny speakable acts too? or is it just the women?

Answer 6

GREAT I e-mailed this to a few people I thought it was funny.

Answer 7

ohhh my gosh


when it was christmas, my boyfriends mom gave me a present and i was like "hope its not socks" (jokingly)
then i opened it and there were the CUTEST socks. i felt soo bad.

Answer 8

hhahah!
nice.. i actually laughed out loud.
eheh.
i like the 4th one.. haha.

Answer 9

I loved it funny as hell thanx.

Answer 10

Those are very funny!