my father is in the hospital after being very sick. And my mother needs my help making a very hard decision.?

Question

my dad has been bedridden for 7 years now from a stroke. in total he has had 4 large strokes and many many small strokes.
at this point he has lost control of the muscle that moves the flap over his path to his lungs when he eats. so food or drink could go in his lungs and he would get very sick. more than likely if it happens at our home we live 10 miles out from the hospital and he may not make it back. the other opition is to install a feeding tube. he will live longer this way with less chance of death. my question is simply this if i wanted him to go to a better place and my mom have some peace. would it be wrong for me to say no feeding tube or would that be a very bad way to go?

my dad has been bedridden for 7 years now from a stroke. in total he has had 4 large strokes and many many small strokes.
at this point he has lost control of the muscle that moves the flap over his path to his lungs when he eats. so food or drink could go in his lungs and he would get very sick. more than likely if it happens at our home we live 10 miles out from the hospital and he may not make it back. the other opition is to install a feeding tube. he will live longer this way with less chance of death. my question is simply this if i wanted him to go to a better place and my mom have some peace. would it be wrong for me to say no feeding tube or would that be a very bad way to go? he want go with out food he would just run the risk of asperating.... he would still be able to eat according to the doctor

Answer 1

I would support the feeding tube because he needs fluids/water,he will suffer more starving to death.I fe he gets worse and needs to be vented(the tube in throat that helps you breathe with a machine) I WOULD not support that,I would let him go in peace. My mother in law died in peace with the help and support of family and Hospice,my prayers are with you,Robin

Answer 2

yes my dear, it is a very bad way to die. i had a stomach ulcer 7 yrs ago, and was unable to eat or drink anything but water for 9 days, and the pain and miserable feeling was terrible. i was in early stages of malnutrition, so i have been there. i also work in the health care profession, and have a little insight into this sit. i am very sorry to hear of your situation, and i can only imagine how difficult this time is for you and your mother. a feeding tube is a very good choice for him. he can be fed this way and made more comfortable. short procedure and low risk of complications. if he aspirates, this can lead to pneumonia and cause respiratory distress, which is also a terrible way to suffer. ultimately the decision is your family's and you need to decide what he would want. i hope i helped, and hope all goes well. may God be with you and bring peace to your heart.

Answer 3

im so sorry about your situation, but if he doesnt have a feeding tube, he wont be able to eat or drink and hed die from starvation. that would probably be a horrible way to go!

you should really have the feeding tube, and just let him go when its his time! thats a horrible way to die. itll be his time eventually, trust me you dont wanna live with the guilt of 10 years from now wondering if you made the wrong decision.

i may not understand your situation fully, but i have a very ill dad too, and thats how i would handle that. [but then again, im extremely close to my dad, and weve had to make tough decisions before, but im glad hes still here]

good luck, and whatever happens i hope you and your mom find peace =]

Answer 4

The problem with no feeding tube is that you would be starving your father to death. And that is no way to die. Besides, I think it would play on your conscience for the rest of your life. Have the feeding tube put in and let him die at his own pace.

Answer 5

The man is suffering too much, let him be in peace with God.