my dad is dying from cancer & only has a few months left. I don't know when or how to tell my 6yr old daughter

Answer 1

Recalling my experience with my own father's terminal illness, I suspect that your daughter has noticed changes in her grandfather with him getting weaker. If this going to be her first experience with death, it may take a lot of explaining. I don't know how religious you are but using references to God, heaven, angels and things similar will help her. If you are not religious, then make her understand that death is a process that everyone will experience. It is like falling asleep. And it is the end of life where all of our suffering and troubles end.
Tell her as soon as possible so that if she chooses, she may want to spend more quality time with him or do things to make him feel better.
I see one person made a suggestion that you tell your daughter that your father is sick and is going to die. Nothing wrong with that. But explain it thoroughly so that she won't misunderstand and assume that the next time anyone gets sick, they will die.

Answer 2

Kids know more than we realize. My father in law passed away in March when my son was about 2 3/4. He kept asking where Papa was. We jsut told him Papa was "bye-bye". I finally told him that when people get really sick that God takes them up to Heaven. He rarely asked about him after that. My mother in law has lukeimia and is going through treatments right now. Our son is now 3 and we have not meantion Heaven to him again, and a few weeks ago he asked my husband if Grandma was going to Heaven. A 6 year-old is old enough to know the truth of what is going on. Just sit down with her and tell her that Grandpa is sick and will be going to Heaven (If that is what your beliefs are)

Answer 3

I'm sorry. It's hard to see a parent go through this, and makes your job as a parent that much harder.

We told our kids, "Grandma has cancer. Cancer is a sickness inside where you can't see. The doctors tried to take out the sick parts, but just to make sure, they're giving her lots of medicine. The medicine makes her weak, and makes her hair fall out but we're hoping that it kills off the bad cells".

3 months before she died we said (when hospice had started), "Grandma's cancer came back and the doctors can't take it out. The medicine didn't kill the bad cells, and it makes Grandma feel bad, so she decided not to take it anymore. She's going to take some medicine so she doesn't hurt, but it makes her sleepy. She's not going to get better." We talked about her cancer in normal conversations, in the car, at bedtime... not as a big dreaded sit-down but just as a fact of life.

We never told them that she was going to die - I wish we had followed up the "not going to get better" with "she's going to die soon". They did get a chance to say goodbye and snuggle on her bed, but they didn't fully understand that it was the end.

It's been 6 months - we've kept the communication with the kids open, and on her birthday we had a long snuggled conversation. Sometimes they say the darndest things, and they've seen me cry so they know it's ok to miss Grandma.

She gave them each a jewelry box, with her jewelry and jewelry from other family members. To each girl she wrote a note explaining the history of each piece. Periodically, the girls take them out and look through them, but we're careful to put it all back in.

Answer 4

it needs to be introduced to her now. We had this with my nanna. I told my kids (barely 8) that nanna was sick and that soon it will be time for her to be with God. I explained that she is in pain and that when she dies there will be no more pain and that she will be able to walk and be happy again. It gave them the time to slowly adjust and when the time came it was no suprise and we focused on the fact that even though we will miss her that we should be happy too because now she was with God and had no pain. Also how she was with her husband and one of her son's now . And because they are kids they wanted to know if she was with our dog too that passed away on our Nanna's birthday last year.
Be prepared for the questions too. My son needed to know what would happen to her body after she dies (where she would go till the funeral)and what happened after (she was cremated) and where the ashes would be.
I gave mine the choice to view her body. I told them that if they got to the door and didn't want to go in that it was fine.They did not have to do it. But they both wanted to. My son wanted to put a photo of them with her in the coffin and my daughter drew a picture. They layed them on her chest and said good bye. They were happy as she had on make up and had had her nails painted. They knew she would like that. Then at the funeral they coped wonderfully. I would have to say there is nothing I would change with how i would do it. My children coped and dealt with her death how they wanted. I put a lot of it into their hands to let them choose.
I wish you luck, it is hard to help your kids through their first death especially when you will be having to deal with your own grief

Answer 5

shes old enough to understand how life works. explain to her that hes going to see god & hes going to be an angel. this is a good time to show to her how great heaven is & that she'll meet him when she gets his age. also tell her that it doesnt hurt to die so she isnt afraid of death. but in the mean time have her spen lots of time with him. take lots of pictures of them together so she can remember him.

Answer 6

I went through a similar situation with my grandmother. I was told it's best to wait until it becomes obvious from her appearance that she was sick, and then explain. They said if you tell children when the patient still *seems* healthy, it just confuses them.

Answer 7

contact the local American Cancer Society and ask them for advice. update the pediatrician and trust yourself. your child can sense something is wrong.

Answer 8

You can use this moment to explain her that sometimes people just have to go, and even if its hard to accept its part of life.

Answer 9

Just explain to her that he is sick... I think that as long as you introduce that fact, it won't be a complete shock if he passes away.

Answer 10

just tell her your grandpa died, lets celebrate, and walla we have a winner