my mom is drivin my nuts (and im not a child! im 20!)?

Question

to keep a long story shrt, I live with my mom and fiance...recently my sister moved back home with her, her BF and her baby..my fiance is never home (works a lot) I have 2 jobs, my sister and her bf party all the time and my mom watches their kid 24/7. I always help mom out with the bills, cleanin ect...while they help with nothing. I have 2 jobs and when i get home all my mom does is BIT** at me about the mess around the house, im lazy...im this im that...meanwhile shes holdin my nephew in one arm cleanin up my sisters dinner from the night b4...WTF is THIS!! She never asks ne one else for money or help around the house but me and it causes an argument. I dont mind helping, especially with money, but I CANT STAND her nitpicking at me about stupid SH$T...ANY SUGGESTIONS!!!

oh and to respond, cant move out now, having a hard time saving money, AND my mom never wants me to move out, shes nuts. She wants me and my man to live here forever! Its just that when my sister sez jump, she sez how high! and when i have a problem with something, theres no talking to her

Answer 1

I understand a bit about where you're coming from, without going into that, I think this happens a lot in many families for loads of different reasons! :)
Sorry, I can't tell if you're a guy or girl, if you're older or younger than your sister, but this may be a small part of the reason why you're Mum is putting everything on you?
but I'm guessing this isn't about you but more about your Mum/sister. Stay calm, point out what you have done/are doing, take the baby off her, make her a cup of tea and ask her what's wrong. I suspect she lays everything on you because she may feel closer to you/feels she can express herself around you or maybe something has happened with your sister that she feels guilty about it so she won't confront her? I'm sure once she's calmed down you'll discover that she knows how much you do/and how she appreciates you. she's just stressed? Other suggestions- talk to your sister/what's happening. she may not be aware of how her actions are impacting on everyone else? especially if your Mum- Mom sorry! :) is being cool around her?
OR save up and go on hol for a week/end/stay at a friends house for a bit. You get a breather/ so do they and it may occur to all your family how much you contribute!!and how much they miss you if they've been taking you for granted! good luck x

Answer 2

Here's the problem. Your sister's kids. She doesn't want to get mad in front of the kids at their mom -- it's and odd situation. I'll bet she doesn't even realize what she's doing. She is stressing too. Problem is, when there is too much stress, we all tend to just lash out at whoever....you know what I mean? The ONLY way you can fix this is to talk calmly to your mom. Maybe tell her you're going to take her out for lunch someplace and tell her nicely how you are feeling and that it's hurting you and maybe then she will realize what is going on....my guess is she is overwhelmed with all the new houseguests/family and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Don't allow this "situation" mess up a mom/daughter relationship -- face it maturely -- I know you are angry and I would be too Just remember, this is the kind of thing that can tear a family apart if not dealth with properly and calmly.

Answer 3

OK your not a child so grow up.If both of you have a job. and he has 2 why do you have such a problem saving money. You need to take care of you. Your a big girl now.,and 20 is to old to depend on your mom for a place to live. I know its nice to spend money on things you like. But whats more important to you right now? Stuff or your sanity? Now think about why your moms always asking you for help! Its because she feels she can depend on you to take care of things.(cleaning ,money etc.)She knows you are capable an your sister isn't.Always been that way?Talk to her and save your money and start your own home with your man

Answer 4

you can move out if your working two job there is always a way if you want a pice of mind rent a room some where there are always room for rent in the paper 125 to 150 a week and if you add how much your paying to stay there then you'll find a way stop paying for a while she wont and cant throw you out so save and be free.

Answer 5

I agree with the others. If you have 2 jobs and your fiance works a lot, it's time to move out. Then your mother will realize that you're not the problem. She probably b**ches to you because you do help out. She knows it will fall on deaf ears if she complains to your sister. Sadly, the reliable ones are leaned on more heavily.

Answer 6

yea heres a suggestion tell your sister she has a responsiblity and stop putting that responsibility on her mother, she gave birth to the boy so she needs to stop partying and be a mom, she should have thought about spreading her legs if she wanted to have her own life and go partying, then maybe your mom wouldnt be so stressed out

Answer 7

It's time to move out. Perhaps she's unhappy because her children are still living with her when they should be out on their own. It's time for both you and your sister to leave the nest.

Answer 8

Move out! Don't let her control your life. If your lazy, excersising feels good! I think you should talk to your sister!

Answer 9

Personally, I think all of you need to cut the apron strings and get out on your own. away from your sis, and give your mom her life back. WOW

Answer 10

Its time to move out on your own, there is too much drama going on there.